confidence issues

LegacyUser

Hey all, gonna go unreg for this. I just turned eighteen, am in sixth year and hopefully going to college this September. For all of my life really I've suffered from a lack of confidence and belief in myself, and also a lack of self esteem. This kinda makes me hold back from talking to girls on nights out and stuff like that. I don't play sports, but I do go to the gym. Are there any handy ways that I could maybe boost my self confidence? Cheers

John Doe1

Well college has a tendency to bring people out of their shell. Just know that at eighteen, most people are insecure just some are better at hiding it. Join a club in college maybe or start a new hobby?

NoobSaibot5

Best advice I ever got was "Fake it till you feel it". Doesn't really work with orgasms, but everything else, yes it does.

Pretend to be confident. Make believe that you are confident and act like you are confident, and in time, you'll become confident. Kinda hard to articulate, but this link kinda goes into detail about it. I've done it myself at times when I'm nervous or just feeling a bit insecure and I have to say you do end up carrying yourself a lot better.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creative-thinkering/201108/you-become-what-you-pretend-be


Hope that helps

James W

unregistered wrote: »

Hey all, gonna go unreg for this. I just turned eighteen, am in sixth year and hopefully going to college this September. For all of my life really I've suffered from a lack of confidence and belief in myself, and also a lack of self esteem. This kinda makes me hold back from talking to girls on nights out and stuff like that. I don't play sports, but I do go to the gym. Are there any handy ways that I could maybe boost my self confidence? Cheers

Hey, unfortunately there are no handy ways of improving self confidence - no quick fixes.

Why do you think you have had a lack of self confidence or low self esteem? Is there a reason or cause which you can identify? I don't think you lack belief in yourself - I mean you say you're going to college in September, so you must believe at some level you can achieve this.

Personally, I found that the way to build self confidence is by doing things, often small things, that we have a fear of doing. Poor self esteem means that we don't feel we have the same entitlement as others to participate in what life has to offer - in other words, we don't feel worthy enough to live the life we were given to live. In children, self esteem is derived from parents and most strongly from the Father - it basically means that you have a sense of your place in your family, community and the wider world - you know where you belong and fit in, which give you a stable base from which to explore life.

It's hard to give anymore advice without knowing more. If it relates purely to your inability to chat girls up, then I wouldn't worry too much about that - it's par for the course at 18! A lot of guys cover their lack of self confidence with overt cockiness, so don't let that fool you - you seem to be very self aware and genuine, which are positives.

I agree with another poster that college can make a big difference.

lazygal

I hated secondary school. If I was giving myself a piece of advice from where I am now aged 30, it would be to get the head down, study and get into college. Later in life you realise those 'confident' people in school usually peaked at 18 or were faking it. College is a million times better than school, by the end of my first term in college I had a new social circle, a great social life, and was miles more outgoing than in school because I had found my niche. Just put the head down OP, and trust me, it is ALL better after school.

peter barrins

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