Drunk in charge of children

snor

My neighbour is frequently drunk when in charge of her two young children (3 and 6years). She is parenting them alone in the house. Her drinking seems to be mainly at night when they are asleep. She seems to have no issue with it and talks quite openly about the bottle of wine she drank alone the night before. I noticed her going to the shops/garage (I presume) at about 11 the other night. The children were home alone (again, most probably asleep). Apart from the obvious drink problem, is she breaking any law or is she just being totally irresponsible and putting the children in danger? Thanks

actuallylike

Wait, so she drank a bottle of wine when the kids were in bed? Or is she actually drinking in front of them? Also, is she getting real drunk or just having a drink?

coylemj

I can think of a few pubs near me that the cops could clear on any Sunday afternoon if beng drunk and in charge of children was an offence.

It probably is an offence but if that lady is doing the drinking in her own home then it's unlikely that anyone will do anything about it. Unless they're being physically abused or not being fed properly I don't think you'll get much response from officialdom.

pirelli

I have a much worse dilema.

I was babysitting at a family house and a mate dropped around. Now to explain briefly my friend had a sexual problem, he was a respected sports player and captain of the school team and popular but he used to like to masterbate when he was 'staying over'. He had secret reputation for being caught **** in embarrassing situations but his professionalism on the pitch kept his reputation intact.

I had permission to allow one beer for friends and i gave my friend a beer. I also allowed him polish off the spare Guinness in the kitchen kept for some culinary recipe or other i am not familiar with.

Anyway the kids were in the house and yet when i walk into the room my mate is in full motion unloading himself in the family room. I escorted him out of the house and down a little way down the street towards his street. Whether out of shame or something else he was acting like he was tipsy or drunk. However i doubt he was and it seemed he was acting up to try and hide his embarrassment.

However i always felt obliged to keep quiet because if i ever gossiped about him up he would gossip and tell everyone that I allowed beer to be consumed and he would lie and say i was drunk.

So long ago now i don't think it matters. He was caught later in the act in some girls front lounge...i still never mentioned his indiscretion as he would certainly get revenge by gossiping. Anyway in this day and age this hardly matters anymore.

racso1975

While the drinking at home thing may be had to prove as neglect. leaving the children alone Is

coylemj

pirelli wrote: »

I have a much worse dilema.

I was babysitting at a family house and a mate dropped around. Now to explain briefly my friend had a sexual problem, he was a respected sports player and captain of the school team and popular but he used to like to masterbate when he was 'staying over'. He had secret reputation for being caught **** in embarrassing situations but his professionalism on the pitch kept his reputation intact.

I had permission to allow one beer for friends and i gave my friend a beer. I also allowed him polish off the spare Guinness in the kitchen kept for some culinary recipe or other i am not familiar with.

Anyway the kids were in the house and yet when i walk into the room my mate is in full motion unloading himself in the family room. I escorted him out of the house and down a little way down the street towards his street. Whether out of shame or something else he was acting like he was tipsy or drunk. However i doubt he was and it seemed he was acting up to try and hide his embarrassment.

However i always felt obliged to keep quiet because if i ever gossiped about him up he would gossip and tell everyone that I allowed beer to be consumed and he would lie and say i was drunk.

So long ago now i don't think it matters. He was caught later in the act in some girls front lounge...i still never mentioned his indiscretion as he would certainly get revenge by gossiping. Anyway in this day and age this hardly matters anymore.

A moral dilemna it may be but far removed from the OP's situation so I can't see the relevance.

pirelli

coylemj wrote: »

A moral dimemna it may be but far removed from the OP's situation so I can't see the relevance.

Dimemna? Is that a new word, or did u just make it up.

Howjoe1

snor wrote: »

My neighbour is frequently drunk when in charge of her two young children (3 and 6years). She is parenting them alone in the house. Her drinking seems to be mainly at night when they are asleep. She seems to have no issue with it and talks quite openly about the bottle of wine she drank alone the night before. I noticed her going to the shops/garage (I presume) at about 11 the other night. The children were home alone (again, most probably asleep). Apart from the obvious drink problem, is she breaking any law or is she just being totally irresponsible and putting the children in danger? Thanks

Can I ask. What did she buy in the shop when you saw her going at 11 ?

NoQuarter

pirelli wrote: »

...

What the hell did I just read?!

lmao

NoQuarter wrote: »

What the hell did I just read?!

+ 1

mattjack

snor wrote: »

My neighbour is frequently drunk when in charge of her two young children (3 and 6years). She is parenting them alone in the house. Her drinking seems to be mainly at night when they are asleep. She seems to have no issue with it and talks quite openly about the bottle of wine she drank alone the night before. I noticed her going to the shops/garage (I presume) at about 11 the other night. The children were home alone (again, most probably asleep). Apart from the obvious drink problem, is she breaking any law or is she just being totally irresponsible and putting the children in danger? Thanks

You seem to spend a lot of time watching your neighbour.You can, if you think there is a risk to the children report her to the Duty HSE Social worker or the Gardai out of hours.There is a structure in place for such a situation covered under I think the 1991 childcare act,there is also an online publication called Children First for information.

pirelli

NoQuarter wrote: »

What the hell did I just read?!

lmao wrote: »

+ 1

I just remembered why i kept quiet about it.

bryaner

pirelli wrote: »

I have a much worse dilema.

I was babysitting at a family house and a mate dropped around. Now to explain briefly my friend had a sexual problem, he was a respected sports player and captain of the school team and popular but he used to like to masterbate when he was 'staying over'. He had secret reputation for being caught **** in embarrassing situations but his professionalism on the pitch kept his reputation intact.

I had permission to allow one beer for friends and i gave my friend a beer. I also allowed him polish off the spare Guinness in the kitchen kept for some culinary recipe or other i am not familiar with.

Anyway the kids were in the house and yet when i walk into the room my mate is in full motion unloading himself in the family room. I escorted him out of the house and down a little way down the street towards his street. Whether out of shame or something else he was acting like he was tipsy or drunk. However i doubt he was and it seemed he was acting up to try and hide his embarrassment.

However i always felt obliged to keep quiet because if i ever gossiped about him up he would gossip and tell everyone that I allowed beer to be consumed and he would lie and say i was drunk.

So long ago now i don't think it matters. He was caught later in the act in some girls front lounge...i still never mentioned his indiscretion as he would certainly get revenge by gossiping. Anyway in this day and age this hardly matters anymore.

snor

MattJack. I do not spend time watching my neighbour but she speaks very openly about her drinking. Her children are a similar age to mine so we would often be out on the road with the children on their bikes etc and that is when she starts talking about the night before etc. I only presume she went to the shops the other night - saw her leave when I was pulling the blinds in my room to go to bed. Don't know what she bought or even if she went to the shops - just presuming. It could be a regular occurence for all I know - just happened to notice on that night.


She tells me she drank a bottle and somtimes more so its not as if it was just 'a drink'. I know if I had 2 glasses of wine when the children go to bed I would fall into a deep sleep and not hear the children if they woke up and hence would not do it if I was alone with the kids in the house. After a bottle I would be out of it.

There is no signs of abuse or neglect as far as I can tell. Maybe that's just me though and I am over reacting here to the situation. I am just concerned as one of the children also has special needs. I don't want to create an awkward situation by bringing it to the attention of anyone if the children are not in any danger.

mattjack

No problem, Snor....

There's a little publication by Barnado's called Our Children First,makes for interesting reading.A lot of Child Protection courses suggest it.

pirelli

NoQuarter wrote: »

What the hell did I just read?!

lmao wrote: »

+ 1

pirelli wrote: »

I just remembered why i kept quiet about it.

bryaner wrote: »

I thought this was an after hours thread where everyone relates their own story had i known it was the legal forum i would have deleted it. Anyway just to show some relevance to the forum the protagonist ( i.e the wanker) went on to study law and became a law graduate.

peckerhead

To answer the OP's question - there is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ‘in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury’ (can't quote the legislation, but it's something to that effect).

It's worrying that she leave such young kids alone, if indeed you can be sure that that's the case. But the woman seems to be in a tough situation, and 'coping' the way a lot of people do, unfortunately. You're right to be concerned, but I'd urge you to offer a bit of support, if you can, rather than be thinking about reporting her to Social Services.

pirelli

Originally Posted by coylemj
A moral dimemna it may be but far removed from the OP's situation so I can't see the relevance.

Dimemna Lol!

coylemj wrote: »

A moral dilemna it may be but far removed from the OP's situation so I can't see the relevance.

Last edited by coylemj; Today at 20:59.


Then you edit it to spell dilemna

This is fast becoming a dilemma for you and you user name should be Coylemma.

coylemj

pirelli wrote: »

Dimemna Lol!


Last edited by coylemj; Today at 20:59.


Then you edit it to spell dilemna

This is fast becoming a dilemma for you and you user name should be Coylemma.

Really?

pirelli wrote: »

I have a much worse dilema.

People in glasshouses shouldn't throw stones.

pirelli wrote: »

I thought this was an after hours thread where everyone relates their own story

Maybe you should stay in the AH forum and spare us the spelling lessons and stories of your deviant friends.

dahamsta

Unless you can prove the lady is drunk and a danger to her children, you should mind your own business on this front. If she definitely left the children on their own though, i.e. you're absolutely sure they were there, then you should pop into your local Garda station and ask for advice.

pirelli

coylemj wrote: »

People in glasshouses shouldn't throw stones.

Ohh! It's acceptable i think. Your dilemma sounded like it got chewed up by the dog and spat out again .

coylemj wrote: »

Really?

Yes really. You then went and edited it. That's much worse. Then it sounded like it came out of your budgies arsehole.

coylemj wrote: »

Maybe you should stay in the AH forum and spare us the spelling lessons and stories of your deviant friends.

Maybe you are my deviant friend... as he is a law graduate although I doubt it at least he can learn from his mistakes.

stringy

snor wrote: »

She tells me she drank a bottle and somtimes more so its not as if it was just 'a drink'. I know if I had 2 glasses of wine when the children go to bed I would fall into a deep sleep and not hear the children if they woke up and hence would not do it if I was alone with the kids in the house. After a bottle I would be out of it.

Are you suggesting that your neighbour should be subject to some kind of investigation for having a bottle of wine when the kids are asleep in bed?!

That's mental. If that's the case, I don't the country would have enough Social Workers to carry out the investigations, because I'm pretty sure that's a regular occurrence in many households around the country once or twice a week.

the more I think of your discontent, the more I think it's a wind up.

snor

No Stringy -it is not a wind up just concern for my neighbour and friend. I would not report her (or anyone for that matter) unless i knew the children were at risk. I do try to support her in that I take her kids a few evenings a week and often bring them to the park at the weekends as she is in a very difficult situation coping alone with them (and they are a handful). At least she gets a few hours to recharge her batteries then.

My first option I think would be to chat to her and ask her how she is getting on and does she find it very difficult on her own etc and offer her whatever support I can if she would be happy to take me up on it.

I just wanted views from others to see if I should be concerned as I got a land the other night when i saw her going out in the car after drinking. I am more worried that she will get into trouble (have an accident, drink driving etc) and the kids home alone and that I could have helped to prevent it in some way.

stringy

oh ok fair enough, a bit more info explains the situation.

I don't think having a few glasses of wine or even a bottle is irresponsible however and I thought that was your main concern.

littlemac1980

pirelli wrote: »

I have a much worse dilema.

I was babysitting at a family house and a mate dropped around. Now to explain briefly my friend had a sexual problem, he was a respected sports player and captain of the school team and popular but he used to like to masterbate when he was 'staying over'. He had secret reputation for being caught **** in embarrassing situations but his professionalism on the pitch kept his reputation intact.

I had permission to allow one beer for friends and i gave my friend a beer. I also allowed him polish off the spare Guinness in the kitchen kept for some culinary recipe or other i am not familiar with.

Anyway the kids were in the house and yet when i walk into the room my mate is in full motion unloading himself in the family room. I escorted him out of the house and down a little way down the street towards his street. Whether out of shame or something else he was acting like he was tipsy or drunk. However i doubt he was and it seemed he was acting up to try and hide his embarrassment.

However i always felt obliged to keep quiet because if i ever gossiped about him up he would gossip and tell everyone that I allowed beer to be consumed and he would lie and say i was drunk.

So long ago now i don't think it matters. He was caught later in the act in some girls front lounge...i still never mentioned his indiscretion as he would certainly get revenge by gossiping. Anyway in this day and age this hardly matters anymore.

I really want to say WTF?!?!?! but I don't want to be accused of being a w**ker.

Arnold Layne

How do you know she's drunk after a bottle of wine? I wouldn't be.

Do you spend your whole time curtain twitching to see what she is at?

When she goes out a 11 what time does she come back at, as she can't buy alcohol at that time unless its in a pub?

What does it matter if she has a few drinks when the kids are in bed? How many parents go out for a night, have a babysitter, come home drunk and the baby sitter goes home. Are they drunk in charge of children as well.

I think you're an overreacting busy body.