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Going to visit old friend/ex need some advice

  • 12-02-2012 4:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So a couple of years back I spent a summer in California, met a girl over there and we ended up going out for the summer (usual summer relationship). When it came to the end, it was hard for both of us as neither of us wanted to do a LDR thing but we kept in touch and we still do to this day occasionally.

    She's always asking me when I'll come visit her and I've been putting it off because basically I don't want to get hurt again. However, I was talking to her recently and she brought the topic up again and I thought "why not?" so I'm going to go visit her for a couple of weeks this summer.

    I'm quite sure she doesn't have a boyfriend right now (I won't be visiting for about 6 months so anything can happen in that time and I'd be happy for her if she did have one) but if she does, I get the feeling it'd be really awkward between me and him? All I can think of is if I had a girlfriend and her ex came to visit and stay in her house for ~2 weeks I'd be quite pissed off. Also I'm not sure if I'd be too keen on the idea of seeing her all lovey-dovey with some other fella - it's one thing being her friend and all but I don't know if I want to actually see that.

    Any advice? Or am I overthinking everything? We never talk about each other's dating life/relationships so I'm not sure how to bring it up at all. I also don't want her to be thinking that, by going to visit her, all I'm after is sex which is not the case at all.

    Thanks in advance!

    TL;DR Going to visit ex, not sure if she has bf but afraid it'd be real awkward and weird if she did.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    So nobody has any thoughts?


  • #3
    Lorna123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,116 ✭✭✭Lorna123


    If I were you I would ask her if she is dating someone and I would explain that I didn't want to cause any trouble by going over there if she was. See what she says. Would you be staying at her place if you went over? If you still want to go whether she is dating or not then just avoid her place and have your own accommodation. The whole thing is to discuss all of this with her before you go over. It can't do any harm. Best of Luck


  • #4
    Mighty_Mouse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,882 ✭✭✭Mighty_Mouse


    I would assume she is single if she is inviting you over. It's a waste of time to hypnotise her having a future bf between now and then. Surely, if this is a thing you will be keeping in regular contact between now & then. So yes you're overthinking it.Is it possible to go sooner?


  • #5
    Katgurl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,145 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    She doesn't have a boyfriend now so it's unlikely she's going to fall head over heels in the meantime.

    Even if she did, she can let you know and you could have a trip where you visited her and then did some of your own travelling too.

    But I say go for it, life is short.


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