Foreign Girlfriend

Green Mile

I'm looking for the general publics point of view on a query!

I've been with my foreign girlfriend close to 6 years now. We've lived together for 5 years so our relationship is very strong and we are very close. Some day, I would like to marry her and celebrate a wedding with all my friends and family.

There's a few people in my job that married their foreign girlfriends just so they could reduce the hassle of coming to Ireland and travelling around Europe. They do love each other etc, but they married earlier to avoid the bureaucracy of travelling to Ireland etc etc.

My first initial thought on that was "they are crazy." I mean, marriage is meant to be a special occasion, it's a big deal and it should be celebrated rather than just signing a form for the sake of travel within Europe.

I still hold that view.

My girlfriend is from a country that is part of the EU and she has been living and studying here for years. She never applied for the Irish Citizenship as she's an EU citizen anyway however, she does at time encounter a more bureaucratic means when applying for things like a credit card or when travelling to the UK.
She also left her job to focus on her studies and she has so many tax credits that aren't been used.

It would be so much better if we were recognised as a married couple by the state and we would have financial benefits and reduce travelling hassle. It makes sense to sign a form if it makes our lives that bit easier. She could transfer her tax credit to me as I work full time rather than just leaving them unused.

Although I think it makes sense, I am contradicting myself when I say marriage should be a special occasion.

I'm 26 and feel I am too young to pop the question.

What are your thoughts? Do you board users think I should just sign the form or hold back?

K

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

Don't marry her for the sake of practicality. Even though you say you love each other, marry her when its for that reason, and that reason only.

At 27 I also feel I'm too young to get married and if I were in your position, no matter how much sense it makes financially and travelwise, they aren't the right reasons to get married, something which you yourself admit to wanting to be special.

tinkerbell

You would be really stupid to marry someone just to save a few quid on your taxes and to ease travelling.

Don't get married if you are not ready, you would be a fool to get married when you have said you feel you are too young to get married.

Marriage is a serious commitment. If you get married just to get tax credits and then if it doesn't work out down the line you'll end up forking out spousal support to her.

Sleepy

This is actually the only issue I've ever personally written to my local TD about. It's discrimination and the tax law in this area is an active disincentive to work that's cost me over 12k since my other half had to leave work when she had our second child.

The Department of Welfare will pay dole for a dependent co-habiting partner, the Revenue treat you as a single person. Combine this with rent allowance and it doesn't make sense for anyone supporting a partner and two kids to work for less than 40k a year in Dublin!

It's no reason to get married though, it's a reason to petition your TD to stop the discrimination against co-habiting couples.

Gatica

Is it not possible to apply for couples joint assessment without marriage? e.g. such as common law partners or something to that effect...

Sleepy

Nope. As I've said, it's cost me thousands over the last few years.

NOIMAGINATION

I wouldn't get married for convenience either - she's an EU citizen and so there's no restrictions on her staying, so I say get married when you are ready.

However I am curious as to what difficulties she's had travelling to the UK - as an EU citizen she is permitted to enter the UK freely? In fact when I travel from Ireland to the UK all I ever show is a boarding card?

Peregrinus

Marriage is not really about a wedding, but about what happens after the wedding.

And marriage is not really about how you feel about one another - you can love one another to bits, and decide to stay together for ever, and not get married - but about asking the wider community to acknowledge, respect and support how you feel about one another, and the commitment you have made to one another. That’s why marriages always involve witnesses.

So, getting married because you want your relationship recognised and accepted - socially, administratively, legally and in other ways - is just fine.

Green Mile

OP Here.

deccurley
Thanks for your answer. Your view is wildly acceptable an I too think the same way sometimes.

tinkerbell
Thanks, I am far from a fool though but you are correct in your view.

Sleepy
I think your concern is different. You are upset with the Social Welfare more than the Revenue (easy to mix them up)
My GF study's full time and I work full time so (luckily) we have nothing to do with the Welfare

Gatica
Very interesting. I do hope someone can elaborate more on that. I wish I knew.

NOIMAGINATION
Believe it or not, The later entries into the EU do still have restrictions. My GF is Bulgarian and since they came in with Roumania, restrictions were kept.

Peregrinus
I could not agree with you more.
I do feel young to marry but I know, after years of being with each other, we are made for each other.I am going to marry her some day anyway.
We talked about not marrying (due to costs etc) and we are both happy to just live together faithfully but the fact that we are encountering issues and there is a tax incentive to sign a marriage form, We would be more inclined to do so.

We could plan to just sign the forms with witnesses and then, when ready in a few more years, announce a wedding and invite friends and family for a celebration (even though already technically married)

Any more thoughts out there?

Sleepy

Green Mile wrote: »

Sleepy
I think your concern is different. You are upset with the Social Welfare more than the Revenue (easy to mix them up)
My GF study's full time and I work full time so (luckily) we have nothing to do with the Welfare

Two sides of the same coin. Married, you're entitled to your other half's tax credits. If you're paying tax in the top bracket, those credits will be worth over 3k a year in your take-home pay.

Gatica

I don't think anyone can fully understand your situation except you. Do what is right for yourselves. If you really are finding it incredibly difficult financially and you are planning on staying together anyway in the longterm, I don't think anyone could judge if you decide to marry.
However, do keep in mind that should anything go awry, the laws in this country make it especially difficult for people to divorce...
Also, could that put a strain on the relationship, as then there may be expectations about when you have the marriage party, when you announce it to your family, etc...