friend issues

marthamartina

I have abit of a problem, and I prob sound like such a bitch. I have been best friends with my friend for 14 years we hardly get into arguments, but recently I just can’t stand her she always lies and her views are very different to mine. She’s also very two faced which never really bothered me, I used to not take notice but I find it really annoying. Basically I am really unsure what to do, because everyone always sees us together and associates us together. So I am unsure what to do.

Raphael

Moved from UCD

IrishEyes19

sounds like you've just outgrown your friend, OP, when you say you dont know what to do, do you mean just moving on and letting her know the friendship is over. I guess if you really wish to do that, just phase out of the friendship slowly. It will be hard. 14 years is a long time, but if you're really sick of it, she has to be noticing it too

marthamartina

I unsure what to do because I no it would be hard to stop being friends with her casue I am so use to her.

qwertytlk

If your unsure what to do then id take that to mean your not sure you actually want to end the friendship? If thats the case then there are other things you could try first, such as trying to talk to her about it. Or habe you already done tat?
Personally i have a few friends that i am very close to and would spend alot of time with them. When this is the case i sometimes find things they do start to grate on me, but this can simply be because your spending too much time together. So have you been spending alot of time with this friend lately? If so then why not try and cool that off a bit, see other friends, stay in insead of going out with her. This may also solve your problem.
Personally i couldnt be friends with someone who was outwardly two faced. I wouldnt be able to trust them and would be wondering what they were saying about me when i wasnt around etc.

Stavro Mueller

You need to do two things.
1. Phase your friend out. Don't contact her as often, don't hang out with her as much and do things without her. You're weaning yourself off her as well as gradually phasing her out.
2. Start widening your social circle if needs be and spend more time with these people.

As an aside, my best friend from school phased me out when we were in our early twenties by reducing contact. It was for the best because we had become different people. She was just that bit quicker at spotting it than I was and got there first. I'm glad she did and I hold no bitterness against her. Life has gone on and I've made new friends.

James W

Just give it space and time - if it's meant to be then it will but for now there is no point in forcing the issue.