Anxious over seeing GP for depression

Izzie11

At the start of December I went to my GP about depression. It was actually my first time seeing this particular doctor as my own wasn't able to see me that day. I broke down completely and explained how depressed I had been feeling. Felt like such an idiot. She didn't even have the door closed before I let it all out!

Anyway she prescribed me anti d's but these don't seem to have made any difference to my mood. I have to go back tomorrow to get another prescription but also try to explain to her that I still don't feel well.

I'm really panicking about going in because I am so afraid I will burst out crying again. Also I'm worried that because the medication hasn't made a great impact that she will think it's not what I need and just tell me I need counselling instead. She did tell me I needed to talk to a counsellor aswell as medication but I have tried before and found it horrendous.

Still having suicidal thoughts and to be honest I'd rather just be locked up up so I can get serious help and sort myself out.

Sorry for the long rant. Just looking for some support really, don't have anyone to talk to

CyberJuice

its tricky, all the doctors can do is throw anti depressants at you and send you to a counseller..

i went to a counseller and found it to be a terrible experience. wen i got there i was waiting for an hour,then a student of some kind brings me into a room to get my details and ask me what my issues are. then the councillor appears 30 mins later and brings me into a room, she asks me is it ok if these 2 students sit in and listen so they can learn from her, 1 small indian guy and an african guy..

i couldnt believe it to be honest,here i am for the first time goin to talk to someone in confidence and they are bringing foreign students into the session..

i never went back after that..
as for anti depressants i took them for 2 days got headaches and didnt take them anymore,im still just as messed up as before i went to the doctor but there is nothing a gp can do, at the end of the day they go home to their families and dont give a second thought about us..


i recomend just try get out a bit more,i know its hard to do, join a gym or soemthing.get a dog,walk it whatever floats ur boat. you dont want to end up hooked on anti depressants then 5 years down the line they have to try ween you off them over a year or 2

Izzie11

CyberJuice wrote: »

i recomend just try get out a bit more,i know its hard to do, join a gym or soemthing.get a dog,walk it whatever floats ur boat. you dont want to end up hooked on anti depressants then 5 years down the line they have to try ween you off them over a year or 2

CyberJuice, sounds like your counselling session was my ultimate nightmare! I went to a few sessions myself years ago and all I did was cry and found it crap. Aswell as that the counsellor was clearly only interested in getting money out of me. Would a psychiatrist be more appropriate? I feel as though the GP recommended a consellor because she doesn't believe I'm all that bad.

sunflower27 wrote: »

From what I know about ADs they take up to a month to start working. It isn't like popping a nurofen and the headache going away.

Thank Sunflower, really appreciate what you posted. Sometimes it's just hard to see these things for myself and it's hard when I have no one to confide in. I have been on the medication for 3 months now and I know all the side effects have worn off so I should be feeling better at this stage. Had experience being on them about ten years ago.

gaa131

My experience was that anti depressants stabilised my mood and restored my energy levels - they got me thinking clearly - and then counselling helped me to deal with the issues which led to the depression.

The counselling wasn't easy but I can honestly say, hand on heart, that it was the best thing I ever did. You need to trust your counsellor - they're not there to catch you out or to judge. They sort of provide the trail of crumbs that lead you out of the forest.

I explored issues that had been causing me a lot of pain - some which I had totally blanked out - in fact I couldn't believe how I'd blanked out some of the things. While I often left counselling sessions feeling totally shattered, little by little, it started to make sense and I discovered the real me. This took two years, almost once per week and I was fortunate to have an excellent counsellor.

Anti depressants fix the symtoms but not the causes. It may well be that the particular type of anti depressant you are on isn't suitable. There are different types which work in different ways.

Izzie11

I don't feel like anything has cleared the fog. My head still feels muddled and it's getting harder and harder just to do simple everyday things. It doesn't help that my family have openly told me that I am a burden on them.

Sunflower, im trying to remember the good times but to be honest there havent been many to think of. In my case the bad definitely outweighs the good. Also haven't had a drink in 6 months. Not a big drinker, never have been.

Just can't help wondering if is this really as good as it gets. I know I need help but can't imagine getting the courage to see a counsellor again.

foxinsox

hi

Don't ever be afraid of crying at the doctors..

Don't forget anti-depressants CAN take up to three months to kick in to their full potential.

Please write down how you feel BEFORE you go to the doctor, not an essay, just points/words. I often do this.

Then while I'm using up the docs supply of tissues whinging she can read what I've written.

Tell the doctor exactly how you feel, like you wrote in your post.

Sometimes doctors may change your prescription or give you something to take if you feel particurarly bad.

EDIT: Not all anti-depressants are the same and unfortunately it can take trying a few differnt brands/doses before you and your doctor find the one that works best for you.

I promise you you will get over this and it will get better, believe me I know.

Best of luck.

gud4u

gaa131 wrote: »

My experience was that anti depressants stabilised my mood and restored my energy levels - they got me thinking clearly - and then counselling helped me to deal with the issues which led to the depression.


I can agree with this, I'm going through it now, weaning myself off the anti-ds and the counselling is getting tough. If you have recurring depression with nothing as such to blame it on eg, a breakup, job loss or grief etc, it stems from something much deeper. I have learnt that there's so much anger and hurt locked away in me that I can only release it slowly as if I did it all at once there's a chance I could explode:eek:, or in my case, self harm and binge eat.

Getting help is a hard thing to do and seeing the right people is even harder. Don't get put off by previous experience, I had similar experience to Cyberjuice, one pychiatrist told me ''people like me shouldn't have kids'' and I had the whole student training thing as well.

I went to my GP last week and he had a student in his office, remember, it is always your right to ask them to leave, I did, and no one minded. When I told the GP about my lastest problems he was really helpful. He has referred me to a different pychiatrist to discuss the possibility of clinical depression. He has also referred me as he admits, he is only a GP and isn't well up on the questions I want to ask, which I admire him for.

On the subject of whether you think a counseller or pychiatrist is better, I don't know the medical difference but to me it's this...and my experience

.A counsellor will listen to your problems, try to get you to see your problems and solutions yourself, and do it in a non judemental and safe way. Maybe giving you coping skills and a better understanding of yourself.

A pychiatrist wont really listen to the problems as such and prescribe medication to alleviate the symptoms of the depression.

I had to take different doses until I got to a level where I could function enough to get back to where I am now. On the right tracks:)

gud4u

izzie, I made a balls of my post,

Never mind what your family has said, I have had the cruelest things said to me by family. Like others, I have had to see a few counsellors untill I found one that suited me. I had one that had a crystal wand betweeen us to shiled her from my negativity, another one tell me about all her problems and compare herself to me all the time:rolleyes:, a pychiatrist tell me that I have a personality disorder, so you will have to go through a few. A good counsellor wont bully you into saying anything untill your ready, I'm going almost a year and only admitted my two biggest problems in the last two weeks, but that's because of trust issues, which the counsellor clearly could see and didn't push me untill I was ready.

I once had a book called The Happiness Habit, an exercise in it called for you to remember 5 times in your life when you were truly happy, I couldn't think of one, got extremely upset and left the dog chew said book, the moral of the story is, I wasn;t in a good enough place at the time to see I had any good times, nor could I define what was a good time FOR ME.

I can think of about 3 now, so that's a start. Things wont always be like this, you will feel better and learn to cope with the small things again. It has taken me weeks, no months, to clean the sitting room, I did it yesterday and now it feels good.
It depends on what makes you feel good, there are those who would think I was a right spaz for being happy at having a clean floor but it's my achievement for the week. I also dyed my hair, which means I must be seeing some glimmer of hope. Oh, I even thought of putting on make up today, I didn't put it on, but I thought of it, so that's a start.

Baby steps, for today, that's getting to the gp for you, and they won't mind if you bawl, bring a pair of sunnies and hide your eyes if it makes you feel better.

You'll get there, I promise.:pac:

LegacyUser

hi izzie

i posted a thread a few days ago about being scared about going to my first councelling session. i've done it before and it wasn't what i hoped or expected and over the last few months things have gotten so bad i couldn't imagine being able to walk in there and be able to speak. like actually get any words out, without ending up a blubbering mess.

so i wrote the things down. i was holding on to this bit of paper as i walked in there today and as soon as i sat down i just erupted. tears, snot, blubbering everywhere. but do you know what? they're used to it. they see it all the time, it's par for the course in any job like that to deal with people who cry, so there's absolutely no need to feel embarrassed. after she did the initial assesment, and went through what i'll need to do, i felt so much better and the embarrassment just lifted. i think the fear of blubbering was far worse than the blubbering, if that makes sense. i just couldn't see that a few days ago because i was so low and desperate.

i too don't like anti depressants, tried two different ones before and had that awful brain fog, that feeling of being like a robot and not being able to even make a cup of tea cause it was so much effort, but the councellor today is referring me to a psychiatrist and in all likelyhood i'll have to try them again. the way i'm looking at it now being on them has to be better that the misery i'm in at the moment, so i'm just going to go with it.

my advice to you is to go to see the councellor. it'll be tough, but please, please believe me, it's going to get better. no matter what else happens you'll feel better after it for the simple fact you're doing something to help yourself get well again. if you don't feel up to being around other people yet don't put any pressure on yourself to do that yet. it'll come in time. best of luck, pet. x

LegacyUser

Dear Izzie,

I feel for you and everyone else's pain reading these posts. I have lived with my demons for a very long time.

Depression takes WORK to battle it and I cannot emphasise that word work any further. A little pink, blue, yellow or white pill is not going to cure it. It may mask the symptoms to help you function but are only a band aid solution not a “be all end all” approach to combat it. I cannot stress that psychotherapy is ESSENTIAL and can even be just as effective as medication for some. Changing your lifestyle helps immensely; healthy diet (eliminate alcohol, try cutting out caffeine, sugar and processed foods-which all effects moods btw), and lots of exercise to boost those feel good endorphins. I treat exercise and diet like oxygen; we need it to survive.

I know we sometimes don't give enough time for our therapy or even research more into this complicated illness. Once you become depressed, others around us even with the best intentions would just say snap out of it. Well, I wish it was that easy because once we become depressed we become unmotivated and overwhelmed performing the simplest tasks. Depression is far more complicated than diabetes or asthma. The courses of treatments vary and take far longer before we feel and see the results. Doctors have to second guess what to prescribe you. There are far more anti-depressants on the market than insulin or inhalers. You cannot cut off like cold turkey and need to be weaned off when your ready and a qualified professional helps you get off them. Perhaps you may need them permanently who knows only time will tell. People need to remember that anti-depressants change the biochemistry of your brain and will experience withdrawals like with any psychotropic drugs.

First and foremost, I want to iterate that if one medication does not work for you try another one there are so many kinds of anti-depressants. There are Tricyclics, MAOIs (Monoamine oxidase inhibitors), SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors), SNRIs (Serotonin and Noradrenaline Reuptake Inhibitors), NASSAs (Noradrenaline and Specific Serotoninergic Antidepressants and they all work on different neurotransmitters. Did you know I tried over 9 anti-depressants before finding the one that worked best for me and it took me at least 4-6 weeks before I felt any improvement? Please don't make this discourage you. Of course, anything that makes you physically ill and feel worse than go back to the GP ASAP and ask for another course of treatment. This may all sound overwhelming but treatment for depression is all based on trial and error. I will tell you it was definitely worth it than having flashbacks, night terrors, bouts of insomnia/hypersomnia. Nothing feels worse than having a friend bathe, dress and feed me! Or my boss pick me up from the bathroom floor because I was paralysed from anxiety. I never ever want to go back there again!

It took 6 counsellors before I found the one who was respectful, professional, and never dismissed my feelings. I went through 3 GPs to find one that was professional enough to admit to me that I needed a psychiatrist. If you are not happy with your GP or counsellor well the best thing you can do is go to another one. My suggestion is try going to another family member that may be more sympathetic (sorry about your family, btw). I have no family and count my lucky stars that I have the friends that I have. If it were not for them I am not sure what would have happened to me. They went beyond the call of duty and I am eternally grateful for them. I had friends that moved in with me. My boss who arranged all the appointments and a retired neighbour that drove me all over the f***king city like a personal chauffeur to appointments. The common denominator, not one of them was family but is now.

I am on one medication instead of four but I need to be careful because depression is prone to relapse. Once you get it, it may creep back up again this is why counselling is so important. It helps with learning to work with stressful anxious or depressive thoughts. In this world we always want a cure but in the end there may not be one and we need to learn how to cope. Being human we are always trying to solve our problems but in the end we need to realise that this may not be possible. We have to change our mindset from "problem solving" to "problem coping". Once we learn to cope then we can accept the things we cannot change and move on with our lives.

I do agree with what one poster who mentioned psychiatrists. They are better than GPs regarding medicinal treatment. They are there to diagnose and medicate. The counsellor's role is to teach healthy coping mechanisms and help you work with the root cause of your depression whether it’s unresolved anger, abuse, trauma, bereavement or stress.

There is an amazing book written by Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon. Anyone who suffers from depression or knows somebody that does needs to read it. There is so much that we do not realise, how complicated depression is and how it has a profound effect on each and every one of us. Sorry if I wrote a novel here. I do empathise with each and every poster and any one in this world that suffers from depression, anxiety or any other mental illness on this planet. I would never wish this on my worst enemy.

I really wish you luck and please DO NOT GIVE UP! It does get better!

Taltos

OP - I am unsure if you are aware of our site rules however continued threats of taking your own life even though you maybe tryng to let us know how low you have been feeling will force we to close this thread and insist on you seeking professional advice via some of the links our charter provides.

Thanks
Taltos

Izzie11

Just in doctors office now. Can't thank everyone enough for posting. It's helped so much to get another perspective

Taltos, sorry for breaking the rules. To be clear I have no intentions right now of causing harm to myself. I may have had thoughts but that's all they were, thoughts. I am just trying to make people understand that I can't see things getting any better. Please don't close my thread because it has really helped me and I am so grateful for the replies.

gud4u

hey,
that's great, little by little you'll get there. The bravest of us always do, the easy option would be to let it overwhelm you and ruin your life.

I agree with The Noonday Demon, a great post, and something I can really identify with. I didn't realise there were so many anti-ds. Actually looking forward to seeing the pychiatrist now, (hoping he's a good one), so Izzie, look at the change a few weeks can make. I was posting here a while back with terrible depresssion but now i'm able to offer a liitle support(I hope).

Take Care:pac:

Izzie11

Appointment went well today and I only sobbed once! I said how I wasn't feeling any better so they upped my dose of anti d's. GP wasnt happy that I didnt go to counselling though but I explained how my last experience wasn't unpleasant. She recommended me to look into mediation and mindfulness.

Dont know what to make of this. Feel like she doesn't think I'm really depressed. Is she did wouldn't she recommend a psychiatrist instead of yoga??

Thanks again for the replies everyone. Just ordered a few books off Amazon including The Noonday Demon

LegacyUser

i'm so glad to hear today went well. i might be wrong but i pick up from your post you feel a little better for just having gone?

as for what your gp had suggested, well meditation and mindfullness can certainly help. i know myself i would be able to do those kinds of things off my own bat. they can help in day to day living, they can help with you getting back to a stable mood and dealing with everday living, but if you have deeper issues that may be contributing to your depression, or issues from your past that are holding you back or something, then i personally thing councelling would be better. but then i'm not a gp or a psychiatrist and i don't know your history. that's something you might need to think about for a few days and bring up again with your gp maybe?

Logical Fallacy

Izzie11 wrote: »

Appointment went well today and I only sobbed once! I said how I wasn't feeling any better so they upped my dose of anti d's. GP wasnt happy that I didnt go to counselling though but I explained how my last experience wasn't unpleasant. She recommended me to look into mediation and mindfulness.

Dont know what to make of this. Feel like she doesn't think I'm really depressed. Is she did wouldn't she recommend a psychiatrist instead of yoga??

Thanks again for the replies everyone. Just ordered a few books off Amazon including The Noonday Demon

The doctor is just going off the information you are giving her. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time...the first few sessions with my doctor were him feeling out what i wasn't and wasn't able for...she may just be playing it cool to let you find your feet with something that helps you...when you get a boost from that she may try and get you to go to another councilor.

From my own experience i have done CBT for a while now and i find it invaluable. I had extreme agoraphobia as a result of my panic attacks, anxiety and depression. It was literally at the point where if i went to open the front door of my house I would vomit. I was terrified of having a panic attack outside, horrified at what people would think. It owned me completely and i didn't leave my house once in six months.

I'm only saying this because i have found it out for myself...you will need to find a strength within yourself you may not feel you have...you will need to make yourself do the things that you don't want to do...you will have to try and fail, and accept that failure as a part of the process and try again until you succeed.

You can do it though, because people do it everyday. That is not an attempt to marginalize what you are going through...it's just to let you know that there are people out there who know what you feel and there are people out there who have overcome it.

I would suggest finding a good councilor that you can work with...I went through 2 before finding the third. We work well together, they provide the kind of coucilling that i respond too we have learned each other over the months and she pushes me when i need pushing and reigns me in when i need that as well.

Don't just a process by one of it's practitioners as i am sure there is someone out there who can help you.

The very best of luck to you.

saa

Izzie11 wrote: »

my last experience wasn't unpleasant. She recommended me to look into mediation and mindfulness.

Dont know what to make of this. Feel like she doesn't think I'm really depressed. Is she did wouldn't she recommend a psychiatrist instead of yoga??

Thanks again for the replies everyone. Just ordered a few books off Amazon including The Noonday Demon

Don't worry she knows you are depressed, meditation is a huge part of the treatment of depression and anxiety, I go to counselling and try and do some meditation but really walking has some what of the same effect on me but meds don't suit me so its different for everyone,I know it may not seem like a "proper" treatment but even any activity that is not self destructive is hugely beneficial for a lot of people, but then again maybe you're not at the stage where you can do that or want to do that, I know you're afraid of having another bad experience in counselling which is difficult but its also very hard to carry the weight of our thoughts and feelings and they spill out into outburts of crying and thats okay and normal, your doctor knows you have depression they are not judging you for showing your emotions or being upset, its difficult to go into your doctors.
Don't forget there are email services run by the samaritins and live chat sessions at Aware.ie if talking on the phone or face to face is too much.


Don't worry about your doctors suggestions, you need to decide for yourself what would benefit you most.

gud4u

Your doctor has made good suggestions imo as they want you to help yourself so that you won't become reliant solely on anti-ds. I've been dealing with thos for years personally and as I get older I have mindfulness, a new concept to me btw, is making me see things in a different way. I'm on a maintainence dose at moment but there are times when I'm drug free.

At the moment just take your meds as prescribed and do a little each day to please yourself.

LegacyUser

Izzie11 wrote: »

Appointment went well today and I only sobbed once! I said how I wasn't feeling any better so they upped my dose of anti d's. GP wasnt happy that I didnt go to counselling though but I explained how my last experience wasn't unpleasant. She recommended me to look into mediation and mindfulness.

Dont know what to make of this. Feel like she doesn't think I'm really depressed. Is she did wouldn't she recommend a psychiatrist instead of yoga??

Thanks again for the replies everyone. Just ordered a few books off Amazon including The Noonday Demon

I am glad the appointment went well. Your GP’s reaction is quite common so don’t really worry about it. She was disappointed probably because she recommended something and you did not continue with it. Sometimes it may make you look non compliant and she was probably frustrated. Nonetheless yoga and meditation were excellent suggestions. What gud4u said hit the nail in the head, GPs do not want you to rely solely on medication. This is why I stated it is not the "be all end all" approach. As far as the psychiatrist, you have just started and the only time I would suggest one is if you tried many meds with little or no improvement. You are at the very beginning stages of treatment and you may be very lucky and not need one at all.

I will still recommend that you find another counsellor that you click with. It’s important to get things out in the open and work out what is bothering you and find out how this depression got started in the first place so it doesn’t creep up again. Meditation works wonders and helps with relaxation and clearing your mind. I practise Zen Meditation (I am not a Buddhist btw, I just use this technique because it works best for me) but it took me a very long time to get good at it because in the beginning I was squeamish and on edge. It was difficult for me to relax and sit still but with time and practise it became second nature.

The advice from other posters is spot on. I wish you luck once again and hang in there!

tawnyowl

Izzie11 wrote: »

At the start of December I went to my GP about depression. It was actually my first time seeing this particular doctor as my own wasn't able to see me that day. I broke down completely and explained how depressed I had been feeling. Felt like such an idiot. She didn't even have the door closed before I let it all out!

Nothing to be ashamed of - I'd say you'd been waiting a very long time to talk to someone about your depression and everything coming out like that is only human.

Anyway she prescribed me anti d's but these don't seem to have made any difference to my mood. I have to go back tomorrow to get another prescription but also try to explain to her that I still don't feel well.

Some antidepressants can take a while to act. Keep an eye on how you feel and side effects (positive or negative). If negative side effects come up, discuss them with your GP.

I'm really panicking about going in because I am so afraid I will burst out crying again. Also I'm worried that because the medication hasn't made a great impact that she will think it's not what I need and just tell me I need counselling instead. She did tell me I needed to talk to a counsellor aswell as medication but I have tried before and found it horrendous.

Councelling can depend a lot on the councellor - I hope you get one who is respectful, a good listener and insightful - these are things I found important.

Still having suicidal thoughts and to be honest I'd rather just be locked up up so I can get serious help and sort myself out.

Sorry for the long rant. Just looking for some support really, don't have anyone to talk to

Hope things go well for you.

lynsalot

Hi Izzie,

Few nuggets of advice for you...

Firstly, don't feel ashamed for crying when you were with the Doctor. They're used to it and they are care givers. It's their job to get you back to health. It's nothing the doc hasn't seen before.

Secondly there are a number of different drugs used for depression. All of them do different things. Each type of drug has a few brands so they're not all the same. You may need a different type. In my experience they take around 6 weeks to work. They should leave you feeling more rational and they don't make you happy (A common misconception)

Thirdly the type of counselling you'll need definitely depends on the problems which have made you depressed. You may feel apathetic and not fully understand why you're depressed but this is the job of the anti depressants to make your head less cloudy and make you see things more clearly.

The type of counselling I needed (Still going) is CBT.

These are the kinds of the things you can ask the Doc when u go back. If your tablets haven't worked, then you'll still be emotional and the doc won't be surprised by this. You're doing something positive for yourself so go in and find out how to sort it out. Don't feel ashamed... our society has lost too many people down this road.

Btw, I had to see 7 different counsellors over the years before I found the one that suited me and I'm seeing her a year now and am completely off tablets since Xmas and never felt better.

Wish you the best of luck xxx

lynsalot

Just reading about your second appointment Izzie. Doctors very often hand out tablets but cannot diagnose you as clinically depressed as they aren't clinicians (Psychiatrists)

But to be honest... a diagnosis of clinical depression could be worse as its something you need to disclose to some employers etc.

Anyway... you may be depressed but not clinically depressed which is a different thing altogether. What you have may just be depression over an event or period in your life or just frustration at your situation. My counsellor refers to it as "stinking thinking" so you're used to reacting to things the same way which dig you deeper into your hole etc - but its not surprising that thats her stance as she's a cognative behavioural therapist.

Check out CBT just its meaning and how it works and see if it might be for you. A friend of mine recently went for counselling and found just talking was making her worse. CBT works on changing your mindset so your counsellor will give you an alternative way of looking at things or normalises it for you.

Izzie11

Thanks again for the posts. Feel like I'm hogging this board now. Sorry!

I was feeling a bit better after seeing doc but the weekend has been awful. Feel so much worse and can't see the good in anything. I know it's probably because I've upped my dose of meds so my mood is going to get a lot worse before it gets better but I don't know is it worth it taking them.

Lynsalot, I've been depressed almost all my life so not sure if it's clinical. It's way more than just a reaction to my current circumstances anyway. I wish someone would just tell me what is wrong with me. My doc just tells me I am lacking serotonin but has never actually told me a diagnosis. Also why would anyone have to tell their employer?

Guess I'm just confused. Feel so bad right now but also feel a bit like a fraud that my doc didn't say "oh my god you need a psychiatrist". I'm still able to get up and go to work everyday unlike other people suffering from it. Even though it's a constant struggle to do so. I don't want to sound like a self obsessed idiot here but I probably do.

It scares me to think so many of you had to go through a number of counsellors before finding the right one. I hope eventually when I get the courage I will be able to make that step but I can't see myself being able to spill my guts until I find the right person to listen. Hard enough to do it once.

LegacyUser

I am sorry Izzie that you had a crabby weekend. Moods come and go they really do.

I would like to ask you, have you ever thought of attending a group therapy session in your area? It may be nice to go to one and meet others that are going through the same thing. It helps you get out of the house. Everyone on these boards are very helpful and kind but it is not the same as going somewhere and speaking to people. You need face to face interaction and not get into the habit of isolating yourself. Isolation is a terrible thing especially combined with depressed. It exacerbates it and can fester into anxiety.

I am sorry that depression is something you suffered with for a long time. Don't worry about the doctor now, you are starting your new regimen that takes time. You see Izzie, meds take longer than therapy this is why I am still suggesting to you to find a counsellor. Trust me, once you open up you get this heavy weight lifted off your shoulders. One of my most productive sessions was when I said absolutely nothing. My entire hour I was sobbing. I never cried so hard and for so long I think it was the first time I ever cried and I made up for the twenty years of not crying. I came home and slept for 14 hours! It was the most sleep I had in months! Letting it all out made me feel so much better. I suggest you try it.

Take care xx

WhyGoBald

Don't worry about hogging the board, Izzie, it's what it's here for. Don't put yourself down either. If your depression is affecting your ability to function and see your life in positive terms, it is serious. I don't know whether it is appropriate to see a psychiatrist in your case, but I would counsel reading material about depression which will help you make a decision (I know you probably have read a lot about it already). Aware's website would be a start, and maybe consider ringing their helpline to talk about how you feel.

Given that this has been part of your life for so long, I think you're really brave to break away from the "normality" of depression in your life. Good luck, and please do believe that there are good things in your future though you may have to fight hard for them.

Snoopy1

Izzie
Ive just been put on anti depressants after years of trying to cope.
I told my employers because i do shift work and i knew night shift was making me worse. Also i knew i had no interest in anything what so ever, and i was likely to snap at the slightest thing. I only told my manager, no one else. I actually felt better for telling my manager (he's not known for sympathy) and hes been very good to me.
I had to see a company doctor and they've reccomended i come off night shifts.
Ive only been on the tablets 3 weeks, and i don't feel like they are working, but i know i have to give it time.
I was seeing a counsillor last year, but ive just started with a new one and the difference is amazing. the new one is much better and i feel more comfortable with her.
I still had a pretty bad weekend, couldn't stop crying.
Anyway just wanted to say your not alone, but do try counsilling.
Im not a success story yet, but i hope to be