Depression and drink problems

johnny_cash

In the last few months i have really been drinking too much.I drink when i'm depressed and i get depressed i go drinking.It's starting to take over my whole life at this stage.I have been with a girl for a few weeks now and i really like her.Then there's times when i do stupid thing when drinking and she wont talk to me and it drives me crazy.We get on really well and i honestly care about her so much.I just can't handle it when she falls out with me and then i go drinking even more.She tried to look after me more times when i was out drinking by not serving me whiskey but then i get upset with her and tell her she's not my mother or anything i can drink whatever i want and make her give it too me.I'm just gone 26 and have always had a bit of a problem with drink but now it has just gone too far.I'm drunk now at the moment and have had people trying to get me help for my drinking problems but i get depressed the whole time and won't talk to anybody which is why i'm posting here.When i go to the pub i laugh and joke with everybody like i don't have a care in the world but even there now people are asking me if i'm ok.I have been getting into fights when anybody says anything to the barmaid which is caucing more problems between us i just can't handle people making sexual remarks to her.I can't give up the drink and most of my friends are alcoholics too.I don't know what to do at this stage i honestly think the only way i can get off the drink is if i can make up with her but i can't tell her this because i don't want to make her feel under pressure.My father died just over a year ago with cancer and there's days i wish i would just die from it because i'm not brave enough to commit suicide.I'm sorry about the long post i'm just drunk and want to get this out.I have already had texts from my friend asking me to go to the pub tomorrow and i dont want to but i know i will.

Princess Peach

First step is you are going to have to want to change. You say you can't stop drinking because of your friends. But you need decide if it is the best thing for you right now. You obviously realise you have a problem as you have posted about it. So you have to decide for yourself, do you want to change it?

I think if you do that for now you do need to give up cold turkey. I have tried to cut back on drinking before and the going out for 1 or 2 drinks does not work when you have a problem.

I think you should go to your GP to talk about your depression. They will information on grief counselors or support for drinking problems.

You have talked about this new girl. She is clearly important to you, so you need to get your priorities straight. You're own physical and mental health should come first, then this lovely new relationship. Drink and "alcoholic" friends should be way down on the list.

Take care of yourself tonight, its great that you are talking about it.

gaa131

Hey man from reading your post one thing is clear - you are not thinking clearly at all. It is quite likely that if you've been abusing alcohol (and yourself) for years that you are actually depressed - it is a depressant and if you're depressed then you can't think clearly or logically.

Getting off drink is possible. Getting off drink has nothing to do with whether your girlfriend is with you or not. You and you alone have to decide to get off drink and stay off drink. Others can support and help you, but only you can make that choice for yourself.

You admit you have a bit of a problem with drink - you have a serious problem with it and are probably an alcoholic. I would suggest that you need to do two things to start with - (i) go to your GP and tell them how you are feeling and what you are doing (ii) contact Alcoholics Anonymous www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie email gso@alcoholicsanonymous.ie Tel 01 8420700

Following this you might need some help to uncover the reasons you drink and it sounds as if you need some structure in your life and things to do which do not involve the pub, drink or hanging out with people who drink. YOU need to clean up YOUR life. You will never have a decent relationship or life when alcohol is in control. You will also find that your drinking buddies are just that - if you weren't boozing would you have anything in common with these people and would they have any interest in you?

Keep reaching out and keep talking about it - often the hardest part of dealing with a problem is admitting to its existence. Your namesake - Johnny Cash - might provide you with some inspiration!

Ickle Magoo

gaa131, by all means direct the OP to the GP for a diagnosis but could we leave the actual diagnosing for the OP's GP please.

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gud4u

hey,
It's the beginning of getting help just by posting.

I used to be like you and my partner gave me the ultimatum, him or drink. We got married eventually. I did change but I had setbacks until I realised it was myself I needed to change for.

Binge drinking was my problem and it took me ages to figure out my triggers, but now I know. You can do it too. I'm a little older than you now but it was around 26 I really got myself together.

You need to change for yourself and thet might mean leaving a few friends behind but if others care then you'll have some understanding and care.

Your dad isn't passed long either so you are still probably grieving for him, why not post in the bereavement forum, maybe you can just unload some of your grief there. But please get help either way, you sound like a nice person, especially if people are asking if you're okay and showing concern. Take care, you have to do this for yourself though.

tawnyowl

johnny_cash wrote: »

In the last few months i have really been drinking too much.I drink when i'm depressed and i get depressed i go drinking.It's starting to take over my whole life at this stage.I have been with a girl for a few weeks now and i really like her.Then there's times when i do stupid thing when drinking and she wont talk to me and it drives me crazy.We get on really well and i honestly care about her so much.I just can't handle it when she falls out with me and then i go drinking even more.She tried to look after me more times when i was out drinking by not serving me whiskey but then i get upset with her and tell her she's not my mother or anything i can drink whatever i want and make her give it too me.

This sounds like a serious issue in your relationship.

I'm just gone 26 and have always had a bit of a problem with drink but now it has just gone too far.I'm drunk now at the moment and have had people trying to get me help for my drinking problems but i get depressed the whole time and won't talk to anybody which is why i'm posting here.

OK, you know you have a problem with drink. Have you spoken with your GP about it?

When i go to the pub i laugh and joke with everybody like i don't have a care in the world but even there now people are asking me ou i'm ok.I have been getting into fights when anybody says anything to the barmaid which is caucing more problems between us i just can't handle people making sexual remarks to her.I can't give up the drink and most of my friends are alcoholics too.

How much of your behaviour is influenced by your heavy-drinking friends?

I don't know what to do at this stage i honestly think the only way i can get off the drink is if i can make up with her but i can't tell her this because i don't want to make her feel under pressure.

You have to change for your own good - if you try to change for a relationship, there is a danger that you may turn back to drink if the relationship fails. Do not tell her that the only way to get off drink is to make up with her - that is putting tremendous pressure on her.

My father died just over a year ago with cancer and there's days i wish i would just die from it because i'm not brave enough to commit suicide.

You might want to talk to your GP about your fathers' death - maybe you need to talk about your grief and how you're coping.

I'm sorry about the long post i'm just drunk and want to get this out.I have already had texts from my friend asking me to go to the pub tomorrow and i dont want to but i know i will.

There's a step you can take - don't go to the pub.

I was you two years ago, almost to a tee. I understand, I suppose! First things first, sort the depression. Go to a doctor and talk to them. Second, drop the drink. It's tough at the start, indeed, but do you want a life of alcohol problems and misery? I didn't.

After a few weeks/months off the booze your outlook with completely change. I can promise you that. Life is unreal at the moment. My girlfriend stood by me and our relationship is stronger than ever. Professionally, life is going swimmingly also. The lucidity and clarity of life after the clouds of depression and alcohol disappear is something that you will only understand when you've come through it, but trust me - it's worth it.

mikemac1

First off go see the GP over the depression.
There may be a few GP's in your practice, while any will do is there someone you think is sound and you could talk to? You can request a GP, don't have to take whoever is assigned to your appointment

Then look at your drinking
Some drink in pubs and some drink bottles of wine every night while crying on their couch [that was me] and some do both.
You seem to be hanging around with heavy drinkers in pubs

You'll have to change your situation OP and break the cycle.
Basketball, five a side football, anything realy

If you are going to sit at home staring at the four walls you'll be back drinking in no time, it's a distraction

So you need something else to fill your time, whatever that may be

And when you see the GP this is something you're going to be asked and the GP will talk about exercise