What would you do...

Deus Ex Machina

If you were high, drunk, unoccupied and had 600 euro in the pocket of your Versace overcoat?

RedXIV

I'd probably go buy a tv,snes and mario and play until I fell asleep

Seachmall

Same thing I do everyday...

... TRY TO TAKE OVER TH.. browse Boards probably.

starbelgrade

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

If you were high, drunk, unoccupied and had 600 euro in the pocket of your Versace overcoat?

You bought the Versace coat then, I take it?

My name is URL

Hire a couple of prostitutes, buy a cane and play pimp for a day

Seachmall

My name is URL wrote: »

Hire a couple of prostitutes, buy a cane and play pimp for a day

:eek:

Fuck Yes.

Deus Ex Machina

starbelgrade wrote: »

You bought the Versace coat then, I take it?

My mother bought it for me as a misdirected token of alienated affection. It's a well cut garment, if a little conspicuous for skulking purposes.

Dravokivich

Occupy myself with some hookers.

What else am I gonna spend 600 quid on?

minidazzler

I'd get drunker and higher, if I can count the money I'm not fcuked up enough.

FinnLizzy

Cannabis: KFC, Pizza and a box set of Adult swim DVDs.

Cocaine: More cocaine

Ecstasy: A limo for all my other friends on ecstasy so we can shout at people through the windoww who aren't on ecstasy and fling poo at them.

AngryBollix

Sound like a 5\10 cash game would be screaming for that money to be lost in

starbelgrade

FinnLizzy wrote: »

Cannabis: KFC, Pizza and a box set of Adult swim DVDs.

Cocaine: More cocaine

Ecstasy: A limo for all my other friends on ecstasy so we can shout at people through the windoww who aren't on ecstasy and fling poo at them.

Sounds like a bad episode of "Skins".

kfallon

I'd be wondering where the fook the Versace coat came from!!!

AngryBollix

FinnLizzy wrote: »

Cannabis: KFC, Pizza and a box set of Adult swim DVDs.

Cocaine: More cocaine

Ecstasy: A limo for all my other friends on ecstasy so we can shout at people through the windoww who aren't on ecstasy and fling poo at them.

Only aqua teen hunger force

Seachmall

FinnLizzy wrote: »

Ecstasy: A limo for all my other friends on ecstasy so we can shout at people through the windoww who aren't on ecstasy and fling poo at them.

I'd buy €600 worth of chewing gum and cigarettes and then spend the day talking to homeless people.

Thundercats Ho

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

If you were high, drunk, unoccupied and had 600 euro in the pocket of your Versace overcoat?

Throw a sexy party.

Sindri

Cocaine and opiates my man, cocaina and opiates.

Plus hoors.

Deus Ex Machina

Dravokivich wrote: »

Occupy myself with some hookers.

What else am I gonna spend 600 quid on?

Given the amount of Cognac I've imbibed, having sex with anybody right now would be like trying to push an oyster through the coin slot of the Ilac centre parking pay station.

I suppose I could get them to stand around and read from James Ellroy novels for me....

thebigbiffo

start by visiting D4hotels.com, follow that up with escort-ireland.com, follow THAT up with a visit to you local coke dealer and follow THAT up with the most decadent night of your life.

Temptamperu

AngryBollix wrote: »

Only aqua teen hunger force

Archer too and Delocated :cool:

AngryBollix

FinnLizzy wrote: »

Cannabis: KFC, Pizza and a box set of Adult swim DVDs.

Cocaine: More cocaine

Ecstasy: A limo for all my other friends on ecstasy so we can shout at people through the windoww who aren't on ecstasy and fling poo at them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26L7z8SVvoI

Sindri

COCAINE. NOW!!!!

DO IT, do it, DO IT!!!!!!!

windy bee

Pity there's not a site to roll all 3 services into 1

D4COKEHOOKERS.COM

Take that dragon's den

thebigbiffo

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

Given the amount of Cognac I've imbibed, having sex with anybody right now would be like trying to push an oyster through the coin slot of the Ilac centre parking pay station.

I suppose I could get them to stand around and read from James Ellroy novels for me....

you asked a simple question my friend - the boards hoards have spoken. get coke and hookers and stop being a pussy.

Deus Ex Machina

thebigbiffo wrote: »

you asked a simple question my friend - the boards hoards have spoken. get coke and hookers and stop being a pussy.

Getting coke is a process best conducted while sober. Dealers, being what they are, tend to pick up on the cues of inebriation, such as egregious loquacity (to which I'm prone) and jack up the price. Those pricks, if I could get my sober hands on them I'd make them into little piles of cured bacon. Fuck those bastards.

smash

I'd try to get a job!

CardBordWindow

I'd take your mother out for a nice seafood dinner, and NEVER call her again!

Deus Ex Machina

Right, fuck this shit. I'm going into town. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, I can barely speak. Maybe I can type my directions to the taxi man (if I can't write slap a toe tag on me, I'm dead) and try not to freak him about by quoting Goethe loudly in a falsetto voice while checking my prostate for tumors in the back seat. Thank you after hours, you're like a sordid mount Parnassus.

thebigbiffo

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

Getting coke is a process best conducted while sober. Dealers, being what they are, tend to pick up on the cues of inebriation, such as egregious loquacity (to which I'm prone) and jack up the price. Those pricks, if I could get my sober hands on them I'd make them into little piles of cured bacon. Fuck those bastards.

ok ok - i see your point. change of plan. visit here: http://www.activehuntingireland.ie/

purchase a crossbow and a balaclava and get yerself another bottle of hennessy. arrive at dealers gaff, put a bolt through his foot, re-load, repeat as nessesary until he tells you where his stash is. steal. revert to my original post but exclude step 3.

sometimes a plan just needs to be teased out properly.

sbsquarepants

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

Getting coke is a process best conducted while sober. Dealers, being what they are, tend to pick up on the cues of inebriation, such as egregious loquacity (to which I'm prone) and jack up the price. Those pricks, if I could get my sober hands on them I'd make them into little piles of cured bacon. Fuck those bastards.

Well said, deus.
I'm sober as a judge, perhaps you should give me the €600 and i'll procure the cocaine for you, i'm well used to negotiating prices and scrupulously honest. There ain't no motherfúcking thing that could go wrong!

Snowie

Shoot the Hostage..... :cool:

Storminateacup

Coke, but it'd really be ket. Then you could say "NEIGH" anytime you didn't want to do something.

lastlaugh

I'd pay the Household charge and drop the jacket into an Oxfam shop leaving the rest of the money in the pocket.

Deus Ex Machina

Taxiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. My phone is a tombstone. Elvis' corpse is sodomising JFk's under 6 feet of soil while Edith Piaf sings Der Lieremann from Schubert's Winteriese. We all end up in the same hole when it ends so why even try!!!!???!!!!

Giselle

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

My mother bought it for me as a misdirected token of alienated affection.

As misdirected tokens of alienated affection go, its one of the best.

Sindri

Are you dead yet?


If not say high to those things that crawl under your skin and hide just at the edge of vision so you can never see them.

TheZohanS

thebigbiffo wrote: »

start by visiting D4hotels.com, follow that up with escort-ireland.com, follow THAT up with a visit to you local coke dealer and follow THAT up with the most decadent night of your life.

Pfft, amateur.

jackson-court.ie, book a double room and invite chicks up to your room.

Seomra Mushie

starbelgrade wrote: »

Sounds like a bad episode of "Skins".

So... a typical episode of Skins then?

Deus Ex Machina

Where do you people get these unaccountably unoccupied yet promiscuous chicks from? If I were to contact basically any vag owner I know and attempt conversation in my current condition they would tell me to take a long walk off a short penis. Chicks are like taxis, they are never there when you want them and they always charge more than you think they're worth.

Seachmall

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

Where do you people get these unaccountably unoccupied yet promiscuous chicks from?

Rap videos and brothels.

PandyAndy

You could get a return ticket to Barcelona for €232 flying out tomorrow morning at 06:50 and return Sunday at 23:45, flight leaves Barcalona at 22:05 on the Sunday. The flight is with Aer Lingus 562. See here.

You could also book a hostel for roughly €60 for the three nights, see here.

So that leaves you with €300 to spend. The weather isn't that great though at the moment.

Have fun.

You could also probably fly to anywhere else in Europe for the same price and spend the same on a hostel too.

Sindri

Air planes are shite when drunk and stoned.

PandyAndy

Sindri wrote: »

Air planes are shite when drunk and stoned.

Thats why they sell alcohol on them.

Sindri

PandyAndy wrote: »

Thats why they sell alcohol on them.

Sitting in a cramped chair with 200 or so odd insignificant people, unable to move of ones volition, sharing a toilet with these people and having to wait for a trolley, blocking a corridor, to roll by you is pretty ****e.

foxyboxer

Get some heroin, coke and LSD for the medicinal benefits.

thebigbiffo

TheZohan wrote: »

Pfft, amateur.

jackson-court.ie, book a double room and invite chicks up to your room.

I would prefer to spend some hard cash on a bird i know is game and good looking, who also has a list of 'favourites' beside her name, than some terrible munter who's only list is what her prefered future husbands occupation is...

amateur

The Mollusc

Get all those DVD boxsets that you've been meaning to see!

saa

Open a high yield savings account, YEEEEEEEAH.

token101

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

If you were high, drunk, unoccupied and had 600 euro in the pocket of your Versace overcoat?

I'd buy an hour of Derek Mooney's time and a ****load of Denny ham. I'd make a meat suit like that one Lady Gaga had and make Mooney wear it. Then I'd make him fight the angry honey badger I'd spent the last few hours trapping.

Sindri

token101 wrote: »

I'd buy an hour of Derek Mooney's time and a ****load of Denny ham. I'd make a meat suit like that one Lady Gaga had and make Mooney wear it. Then I'd make him fight the angry honey badger I'd spent the last few hours trapping.

I hope you win the lotto.

Deus Ex Machina

Woof woof hear the demon dog bark,
He's got a twelve inch Wang and it glows in the dark,
His brain is big but his dick is bigger,
His right wing finger's on the nuclear trigger,
Yes my friends hear this ode,
I porked lizard, a lobster and a horny toad,
I'm the king of writers woof woof woo woo
I've got a four year old girlfriend strung out on glue.