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Serious family feuds

  • 07-02-2012 9:17pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm sure lots of people have had falling out with there family's for one reason or another, but I'm just looking for a bit of advice on how to get on with my own life really..


    I have had a unreconcilable falling out with a brother of mine, basically over money and inhertiance issues..

    Some backround..

    We are from a very small family just myself and himself .. Our father died when I was in my teens and my mother was an alcoholic.. Our family was left well provided for and all control of money and estate was left up to him as my mother was not deemed fit to manage the funds.. I trusted him, asked for little or nothing and tried to make my own way in life, which I did with great pride and as a result i do not like to depend on anyone, well their is no one there to depend on anyway..
    I do remember asking for a loan of €20 once and that was turned down so i never asked him again.. I have asked friends family instead, which of course was returned..
    Basically I trusted he had our best interest at hearts and left him to it, but maybe that was mistake number 1..
    My mother went into state care years ago and I have recently found out that he has had access to my fathers life policy that I knew about but thaught that was in my mothers carers hands,as it was for her, instead he had been helping himself for years.

    my mind is so confused at the moment, ranging from hurt - anger - loneliness, i just don't know what to be thinking and my mind won't settle at all..

    Anyone have anything similar happen that might be able to help me ..


Comments

  • #2
    OS119
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,518 ✭✭✭OS119


    unreged12 wrote: »
    ...Anyone have anything similar happen that might be able to help me ..

    talk to an experienced Lawyer - the law, and the practicalities, surrounding inheritance law and trust law are for too complex for you to get any real advice about the money half of your problem from a load of randoms off the internet.

    apart from that, i'd leave it in the hands of your Lawyer and get on with your life - you know that there can be no reconciliation with your brother, so there is little point investing any emotional capital in the issue. leave it to your lawyer, and treat it - and yes, i know this will be much more difficult for you to do it than for me to write it - as if it wasn't close family, but some obscure distant relative that, previous to the fuss over the wiil, you'd never heard of.

    or, if you don't need the money or feel really, really agrieved by your brothers actions you could just forget about it. that way you're no poorer - and indeed probably richer as you won'y be forking out €300ph on a lawyer - and you won't have this issue constantly rearing its ugly head.

    personally i'd talk to a lawyer first, see what his 'feel' for the situation is, and then decide from there.


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