At what point can you relax the vigilance?

username123

Im 37 days today.

Dont find myself thinking about smoking or having cravings now, maybe the odd one (last one I remember was nearly 10 days ago).

Do find myself marvelling occasionally that I dont smoke anymore.

Still havent had a night out with alcohol included.

Just wondering, at what point have people found that they dont have to worry about being caught in a moment of weakness or been silly and smoked while drunk etc?
When do you really feel - thats it, I dont have to worry about any situation ever again?

Pulsating Star

The posts I find the most depressing here are those where the poster says they were off the cigs for x time in the past ,sometimes many years,only to succumb again. So I aim to keep this in mind when i start to feel comfortable with it.
Having said that I got some bad news yesterday and while it struck me at the time that numerous cigs would have been the instant reaction in the past it just didn't seem an option yesterday. We gave up at roughly the same time so it might be relevant .

username123

Pulsating Star wrote: »

The posts I find the most depressing here are those where the poster says they were off the cigs for x time in the past ,sometimes many years,only to succumb again.

Yes - I totally understand what you mean!!! That scares me!!! I wonder has the mindset become 'Ill just have the one and be grand, I wont get hooked again' when that happens?

Sorry to hear you got bad news, hope youre ok.

Vudgie

username123 wrote: »

Yes - I totally understand what you mean!!! That scares me!!! I wonder has the mindset become 'Ill just have the one and be grand, I wont get hooked again' when that happens?

Sorry to hear you got bad news, hope youre ok.

I am hoping that what will keep me going on that front will be the experience of it happening before (relapse) and the utter dissappointement and stupidity of it all.

More importantly I am hoping that my entire mind set regarding smoking has changed and therefore I will have nothing to fear (good man Alan Carr).

It is the unknown I suppose, which in itself tends to scare but no doubt positivity helps.

aFlabbyPanda

I'm off the smokes nearly 9 years and still miss them from time to time. Or at least my brain thinks I miss them. I hate the smell of stale smoke now and can't stand it if my clothes smells of it. Or if I have friends over and they smoke outside if the smell drifts in it drive me nuts.

But, and its a big but, every now and then (like on holidays or when someone lights up a fresh cig with a match or right now as I type this actually!) I get a craving for that first pull on the first smoke of the day. You know when one that fill your lungs and makes you feel almost warm inside.....

But then I remember what I went through to give them up and how healthier I am for it and I would NEVER, EVER go back smoking now. Stick with it and it does get easier.

username123

BrianjG wrote: »

I'm off the smokes nearly 9 years and still miss them from time to time.

I dont mind the thought of still missing them from time to time, but I have a fear that the raving irrational ciggie junkie in me will come leaping to the surface the minute I relax my guard and Ill grab some old ladies ciggie out of her hand or chain smoke 40 in a row or something horrible like that!!!

By relaxing my guard I mean drinking, getting very very tired or upset, getting bad news etc..... I just worry!!!

GowlBag

If you go out drinking stay away from the smoking area!

When I gave up I knew that I would be most vulnerable when I was drinking or drunk. I gave up smoking when the smoking ban came in because I knew then I could sit and have my drink without being in direct contact with smoke/smokers.

If your off them 37 days then you're system is nicotine free (assuming your not using nicotine replacement). After that it's all in your head. Always, always think of the positives and think of how happy you will be for the rest of your life knowing that you have stopped doing the stupidest thing you ever started doing!

I sometimes have bad dreams about smoking and invariably it's in some filthy smoking area! I feel disgusted with myself and then when I wake up and realise it was a dream I'm delighted!

Miss Fluff

username123 wrote: »

Just wondering, at what point have people found that they dont have to worry about being caught in a moment of weakness or been silly and smoked while drunk etc?
When do you really feel - thats it, I dont have to worry about any situation ever again?

I'd say the moment you STOP worrying is the moment you need to be extra careful. I am off them 3 years this coming July (smoked 30 fags a day for many years - I LOVED fags) and I still worry. And I still have the occassional smoking dream which reinstills me with the fear. You should never become complacent or too confident. You are a smoker who chooses not to smoke not a non smoker - there's a big difference.

Well done on the progress, you must be near the two month mark now. Each milestone should be celebrated.

username123

Interesting replies peeps!

I have by now been out for dinner and a few drinks one friday night so the fear of a drink turning me into a raving craver has abated somewhat!

Ive also had stressful situations, tiredness etc....

Let the vigilance remain!

Vudgie

I really do not think that vigilence is an issue at all.

One great thing that has stuck with me from reading Allen Carr is the fact that he says that what you need to ensure is that you are not careless rather than being constantly vigilant (smoking will not sneak up on you;)).

His analogy is that you don't carelessly cross the road and by that thinking you should not become over confident when it comes to smoking either (simplistic I know). The pledge that I will never smoke again has worked so far for me as I am aware that one cigarette will have me hooked again.

I quit smoking on the 6th February and I have been out (and drunk) once since. In my view having failed 2/3 times before it really takes a shift in mind set to quit smoking, a positive brain washing if you will.

There is definite truth in Allen Carr's position that if you feel that you are making a sacrafice by not smoking your brain will not be able to disassociate itself from the cigarettes for good.

Good luck everyone, keep it going and revel in the sense of achievement rather than a false pretense of sacrafice.

rgmmg

I have been on and off cigs over the past 20 years (am 36 today ).

Have quit for 4 or 5 years twice in that period, always cold turkey (1st day is always the hardest imo). I gave up in May last year as my girlfriend didn't like it. After 3 weeks, I decided I would smoke like a trooper on the days I didn't see her. So, for 3 days I'd smoke, then none for 4 days (Weds, Fri, Sat, Sun).

Now, I have moved in with her and I have not smoked for 10 days. Am counting the days until she goes away for the night with work (end of next month - i love her really!) but know i won't smoke until then.

I think the experience of being off them in the past means I am more able to go without for prolonged periods. I know i am only kidding myself, but the thought of "You can NEVER have one again" puts me off quitting in the first place!!

hidinginthebush

rgmmg wrote: »

I have been on and off cigs over the past 20 years (am 36 today ).

Happy birthday!

In my own experience, you (or at least I) can't ever relax the vigilance. My record for quitting is about 7 months, and I've done a couple of 3-4 month quits too, and every time, I think I'm finally over them (can't stand the smell, taste etc.) but stupidly decide on a night out / New Years / after a grievance in the family etc., to have one, or even just a few pulls, and that undoes all the hard work right there and before I know it I'm back on them. It's crazy how easy it is to get sucked back in.

rgmmg

hidinginthebush wrote: »

Happy birthday!

In my own experience, you (or at least I) can't ever relax the vigilance. My record for quitting is about 7 months, and I've done a couple of 3-4 month quits too, and every time, I think I'm finally over them (can't stand the smell, taste etc.) but stupidly decide on a night out / New Years / after a grievance in the family etc., to have one, or even just a few pulls, and that undoes all the hard work right there and before I know it I'm back on them. It's crazy how easy it is to get sucked back in.

Thanks

It's a slippery slope alright. No point beating yourself up about it although i go easy on myself :-)

I would say to the original poster it only gets easier in time, but you never miss what you never had so you'll never lose that mental addiction imo.

Vudgie

rgmmg wrote: »

Thanks

It's a slippery slope alright. No point beating yourself up about it although i go easy on myself :-)

I would say to the original poster it only gets easier in time, but you never miss what you never had so you'll never lose that mental addiction imo.

Happy Birthday!

Obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion but I find this negativity very frustrating. It is this type of stuff that makes people avoid giving up to be honest (not you personally obviously but this general message;)).

This whole thing of 'once a smoker, always a smoker' is rubbish I think. I have failed before and I now think I know why. Smoking is effectively an addiction to a chemical, the mental addiction to which you refer doesn't really exist in my opinion, it is actually fear of giving up (the unknown etc).

I honestly can't see the logic (even as an ex-smoker) in abstinence for 10 days and then a return to smoking...you must be miserable during those 10 days!

Each to their own but I just hope that people attempting to give up dont believe that it is impossible.

Miss Fluff

rgmmg wrote: »

I have been on and off cigs over the past 20 years (am 36 today ).

Have quit for 4 or 5 years twice in that period, always cold turkey (1st day is always the hardest imo). I gave up in May last year as my girlfriend didn't like it. After 3 weeks, I decided I would smoke like a trooper on the days I didn't see her. So, for 3 days I'd smoke, then none for 4 days (Weds, Fri, Sat, Sun).

Now, I have moved in with her and I have not smoked for 10 days. Am counting the days until she goes away for the night with work (end of next month - i love her really!) but know i won't smoke until then.

I think the experience of being off them in the past means I am more able to go without for prolonged periods. I know i am only kidding myself, but the thought of "You can NEVER have one again" puts me off quitting in the first place!!

Happy Birthday

Why on EARTH you'd put yourself through that is beyond me! You must feel constantly deprived :eek:

rgmmg

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Happy Birthday

Why on EARTH you'd put yourself through that is beyond me! You must feel constantly deprived :eek:

Yes - it's the price I pay but I've made my bed. No more cliches

peckerhead

Pulsating Star wrote: »

The posts I find the most depressing here are those where the poster says they were off the cigs for x time in the past ,sometimes many years,only to succumb again.

Anseo...

Five years off the b'stards, then found myself in a (really) stressful situation last August while abroad, and I chain-smoked two packs in a night. Six months on, I'm sick of the things again and am in the process of psyching myself up to set a new quit date... soon.

I can't agree at all with Vudgie about the mental/psychological addiction being non-existent. In fact, I think it's by far the harder nut to crack. As Miss Fluff put it, for those 5 years I was a smoker who had chosen not to smoke, not a non-smoker. For the first year or two the Alan Carr approach (basically a form of NLP, as far as I'm concerned) worked and kept the desire to remain smoke-free just ahead of the temptation to pick up again, but I guess I relaxed after that and when crisis struck I just had no resistance. I knew lighting up again was not going to help a damn thing, I had no physical craving to smoke, but I was upset and scared and they just suddenly looked like a crutch again.

It's a horribly insidious addiction (like most of them). Be vigilant.

Miss Fluff

peckerhead wrote: »

Anseo...

Five years off the b'stards, then found myself in a (really) stressful situation last August while abroad, and I chain-smoked two packs in a night. Six months on, I'm sick of the things again and am in the process of psyching myself up to set a new quit date... soon.

I can't agree at all with Vudgie about the mental/psychological addiction being non-existent. In fact, I think it's by far the harder nut to crack. As Miss Fluff put it, for those 5 years I was a smoker who had chosen not to smoke, not a non-smoker. For the first year or two the Alan Carr approach (basically a form of NLP, as far as I'm concerned) worked and kept the desire to remain smoke-free just ahead of the temptation to pick up again, but I guess I relaxed after that and when crisis struck I just had no resistance. I knew lighting up again was not going to help a damn thing, I had no physical craving to smoke, but I was upset and scared and they just suddenly looked like a crutch again.

It's a horribly insidious addiction (like most of them). Be vigilant.

God you poor thing, awful for that to happen after five years

I think setting a quit date is a really good idea as it gives you time to prepare. I know I did that and smoked my brains out for a few weeks in the lead up to Quit Day. Seems to work for a lot of people. Best of luck!

shopaholic01

:mad: Yeah it sucks. Was off them 6 yrs and then went on hols where you could smoke indoors. After a couple of drinks having a cigarette seemed like a brill idea. Next thing you know you're smoking more than you ever did and it feels like you're reunited with a long lost friend . In attempt no 2 now and past the worst, the first 3 days are hell:(.

username123

Wow - Im really glad I posted this thread, I am amazed to hear the tales of being off them years and then straight back on after 1 cigarette!

Its something thats always worried me, many years ago I worked with a 60 a day smoker. Then she quit and was off them for years, 4 or 5 years at least. Then one day she came in back on them - but straight back onto the 60 a day!! That scared me. Literally from zero to 60 overnight.

I think what Im learning here is that no matter how many years pass, you can never ever assume that you could just have one. You cant. Ever.

jdee99

I gave them up 30 years ago and I reckon it would take just one puff to get me back on them. Don't think you ever truly loose the urge for one just stop thinking about it so much LOL. Hang in there and stay off them!

RealExpert

Never,like the posts above say you are only one cigg away from being back.