don't know what to do!

atsural

Hi all,

Okay so back in September i was at a house party and i lost my virginity to a guy i kinda knew (not that well), i know this was a mistake but i was in a bad state. In january i went to an event he organised having not talked properly since that night. At the end i just decided to talk to him and clear the air. we chatted and i said i just dont want things to be awkward and stuff and he said sorry i just get all shy around girls, he was being genuine i think he is actually shy! we agreed to be friends. then my friend sent me a link on facebook and he commented on it, which i found a bit random but as my friend said that was his way of making an effort. 2 weekends ago saw him in a nightclub and we said hi to eachother but on saturday night saw him again, i was dancing with my friend and he walked over and started dancing with us, my friend said that I was being a bitch and gave him a look which i didnt mean to at all and then he left. I tried to find him after but i couldn't. I'm just wondering what i should do now? I want to message him on facebook to apologise for the other night but my friends dont think i should. the thing is maybe i should try and make an effort and give things a go because i did lose my virginity to him and i think i like him. i dont know if it seems desperate if i write to him though? please help!! by the way i am 18:)

atsural

thanks for the reply! i think it will be worth it just to message him and see whats going on, then i could get some closure if i find out he isn't interested..thanks again

qwertytlk

Dont worry about what your friends say. They will have their own ideas about who they like and you should have your own. So if you like him then i say go for it. The fact that he made an effort to message you on fb, and came over to dance when he saw you says to me that he probably likes you. Most guys of 18 wouldnt bother unless they like someone. He could just be friendly, but even if thats the case then you can be friends with him if theres nothing else in it.
Good luck

sarahbro

Stop listening to your friends and go for it!
Good luck

midlandsmissus

I'm sorry but my advice is completely different.

Leave this now before you get badly hurt.

You are emotionally invested with him because you lost your virginity to him. That's not your fault. But realise it is more about the act of losing your virginity than the actual guy. We all want to lose our virginity to some-one we are in love with, but in the vast amount of cases that doesn't happen so don't feel bad about it.

He has given the following indications:
Not spoken to you from Sept to Jan,
Said he wanted to be friends.

What you are pinning your hopes on him liking you are:
he danced with you,
he commented on a link on facebook.

Your friends are right, and are trying to stop you make a fool of yourself. Do you really want to message him to apologise for a look you gave him? How do you think he will perceive that?

I'm trying to be cruel to be kind. We've all been idiots with men, myself included, so don't feel bad, I just think you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt here.

Accept that you can lose your virginity to some-one and not have a relationship with them, and move on.

Katgurl

He sounds nice (I love shy boys).

Send him a message asking did he have a good weekend. If he answers ask him does he want to hang out sometime. If no reply, so what, move on and forget about him.

Don't apologise for a look though or even mention it.

ButterflyABC

Katgurl wrote: »

He sounds nice (I love shy boys).

Send him a message asking did he have a good weekend. If he answers ask him does he want to hang out sometime. If no reply, so what, move on and forget about him.

Don't apologise for a look though or even mention it.

I agree, he does sound nice and shy too (I also love shy guys)

Do send him a message what have you got to lose but as katgurl said don't apologise.

This is so cute, it takes me back. I had almost an identical situation when I was 18

I hope it all works out for you.