Monday Funnies

MonkieSocks

"Oh John, do you remember,

The last time we were up here was 25 years ago and we made love for the very first time near an old disused barn.

I wonder if we could find it again."

"I shouldn't think it'd be here after all this time."

He said, "But we'll go and have a look."

Surprisingly enough, the barn was still there.

"Look Doreen, I sat you on that fence over there and we made love, let's do it again."

She agreed and he sat her on the fence and began the business.

Doreen went completely wild, thrashing her arms in the air and waving her feet around.

"Wow, Doreen, you didn't do that last time."

"I know" she stammered, "but it wasn't electrified then."

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Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school.

Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's.

However, her teacher had written across the bottom:

"Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault.

She talks too much in school.

I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."

Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:

"Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
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A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Irishman on an overseas flight.

After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged,

"And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded,

"And this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told me she could never love another man."

When the Irishman remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,

"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted.

"And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop.