Rude and obnoxious

LegacyUser

Hey all

So I'm due to be married in 6 months and I have a slight problem. Everytime my bf and I g out, he gets drunk and goes on a mad one.

For example, we went to the dubs game today. We had 4 drinks before we got there and after the match I explained I was hungry (I hadn't eaten all day).

He decides to tell me be was hungry and we should head home. Oslo I told him I was eating. In the end he stood outside until I was finished.

That got me annoyed to start with but I let hm off.

So we get home and friends of ours come up or a drink. About 3 hours later I come into the room eating a left over spring roll that I had from earlier. He proceeds to ask me what I was eating that for ( even tho it was mine) and then said that I ate like a fat pig in the chinere( bare in mind I'm a size12,and hadn't eaten all day).

When that was said every one went silent, and when I'm confronted him on it, he dinied he said it and told me I was lying.

This seems To happen when he gets drunk and then he tells me I'm making things up when it's the truth,

Any advice?

Thanks so much

Neyite

You are engaged to a man who is rude, a liar, a man who wont take responsiblilty for his actions and words, and a mean drunk. You really want to be standing in front of your family in six months time promising to spend the rest of your life with this?

(assuming you decide to have children) Your children will learn never to tell mammy the truth, that its ok to call her names, and never take responsibility for their behaviour. How can they not, whe you have a spouse who thinks its totally fine? Would he support you and be kind to you during a pregnancy, or labour, or snigger with his mates about you getting "fatter" or not losing the baby weight fast enough?

Think long and hard - not about the wedding, but about the marriage and your long life ahead with more of this in store.

pigman2000

a lot of people act out too because they're not happy in a relationship and may be too chicken to end it or explain their ultimate unhappiness - verify that he's happy with you and the oncoming marriage

R.D. aka MR.D

Do you want to put up with this for the rest of your life?

Do you want to have children with a man who acts like this? Would that be fair on them?

You deserve better than this. Don't let him use drink as an excuse. It isn't one.

Tigger99

It pains me to say that I could have written this when I was in my last relationship. Except in my case he didn't deny saying it, just that it was a joke. All the digs were jokes. The worst thing about it, you start to believe what he's saying is true.

What is his reaction when you discuss it when he is sober? Does he want to do everything in his power not to hurt you, and stop drinking if thats what it takes? Or, from what you've said here, does he always deny it?

I always thought that if I said or did the right thing, I could make him see how much he hurt me and everything would change. Now I see that if he really loved me, in a healthy way, me telling him that I was hurt should be enough, not having to explain it or and over again, or get people who were witness to the event/digs to explain that he was wrong.

The only bad part that I found with breaking up with my ex is cringing at the daily flashbacks of yet another nasty situation/comment, wondering how I could have let myself put up with it (well that part is easy, you tell yourself that they dont really mean it over and over again:(). But you know what? They are passing and will fade in time.

I am so glad I got out before marriage and kids were involved. Like Neyite said, please think hard about your future.