What to do - stuck in a rut

Pippy1976

Ladies,

Here's my situation, wondering if anyone is in similar.

I'm living at home (mid 30's) because I'm a contractor & out of work right now. So, no possibility of getting my own place any time soon.

All my friends are married, or in long-term relationships anyway, so nobody goes out at weekends. I mean nobody!

My phone doesn't ring from one end of the day to the next (everyone is busy with their boyfriends / husbands) so I take myself off for a coffee somewhere or just to browse around the shops - to kill time etc. It gets pretty lonely. Then I find myself back at home sitting in for the night watching TV with mum & dad.

I can't see a way out of the situation. I'm going to join a gym on Monday just for something to do. I read alot & am into music which keeps my mind active. However, I just miss that special person to hang out with & chat to.

Sitting in on a Friday night with mum & dad wasn't really what I had planned for myself! When I say nobody goes out I really mean it.

I'm just a bit fed up & can't see how to fix things. What do you guys do?

Stheno

moved from tll

Hamhide

yeh I'm kinda the same.I'm a trans girl.All my friends are guys and its nice and all but you cant really talk to them about stuff or just hang out with.Its nice to have a bff you can sing into hairbrushes with.I get real lonley sometimes,even girls my own age never go out and trying to make a new friend by socalising is next to impossible.I often find myself sitting at home on a saturday night simply because a lack of a good mate to hang out with.I have a bf but sometimes u need a little female company

qwertytlk

Hi, i kind of know what you mean. In the last year or 2 most of my friends have emigrated, or settled down so i dont get to see them much. Its not so bad for me as i do have a fiance and a child and dont get me wrong i love them both dearly but sometimes i also miss having my old group of friends to go out with or meet up with and have a chat or a look around the shops.
It sounds like you miss the social side of things more than having a partner so maybe you could try and join a group or a class. If your joining the gym its probably a good start, but maybe try something else too like a music class (if your into any instruments, or want to learn) or something else that sparks an interest.
Long term if you want to move out of your parents place and your current job doesnt afford you that luxury then maybe re-training in a different area is an option? Like doing a course of some sort? If that doesnt interest you, what about volunteer work? That would certainly get you out of the house, keep you busy and your sure to meet some new friends. I volunteered for a few years and there was always nights out etc for the volunteers and staff. Just keep busy and try to be as involved in social activities as possible and your sure to meet some people to socialise with this way. Ok you might not meet a bunch of life long friends (you could though!) but even just to have some people to spend a bit of time with.
Good luck.

LovelyLottie

I had to move home about 8 years ago, wasn't sure how long for but it ended up being for about 4 years. In my personal experience, i felt like my life was kind of in limbo or on hold and so it made everything that wasn't 'perfect' in my life seem worse. Once i moved out, things started to feel a lot better because i had my own space and independence again.

I am very familiar with the 'friends all busy with boyfriends / husbands' situation - all you can do, is get yourself out there and meet new people and do new things. You're the only one who can change things up for yourself.

Some things i've tried to keep busy / find some meaning in life!: volunteered at the DSPCA, joined various gyms with varying degrees of success!, tried online dating, joined a library, did some charity work, just started a yoga class, recently went to a wine-tasting event with firstdate.ie, did a flower arranging evening class (sounds nerdy but i loved it!)... i've heard zumba is great fun, that's next on the list, i am going to try pilates after easter. I am not particularly brave or fearless, but i realised that if i didn't start doing things myself (and stop waiting for one of my friends to be available) i'd never do anything. Best of luck

boardie100

hey there...

have you tried the site meetup.com.... they have groups of all types that you could get involved in...i think there's even one especially for people who's 'attached' friends dont socialize anymore..

Pippy1976

@boardie100 thanks for that, I checked it out. It seems to be for older people? Am I being presumptuous? I'm a bit alternative: I play the bass, I like music / tattoos / art / gigs etc so not sure if meetup.com is for me!