Scumbag started on me rant >:)

Take_Her_Handy

Was i the local chippie last nite, just picking up herself from work and went in for a bit of grub before she closed.

Two lads walked in, I know them to see and I nodded and said well lads since there was no body else in the place, one of them said hi but the other started to call me names and jeer, I tout cool just read the paper and ignore it, I'd leave only me fiance is just about to serve him so I hung around. The scumbag then started on herself and threw a bottle of vinegar at her, this is where I told him to stop being a scumbag and leave her alone!!

Straight away he came for me and landed a lovely hook on the temple but was as hard as cotton wool (fast but weak) So I got him by the throat and squeezed, then turned him around and got him into a choke hold, one I've used before and will always put them out in 15-20 seconds. Next part I'm so happy with, So I started to tell him that he was about to pass out in about 10 seconds, nothing he can do about it, and jokingly said that when he was out cold I was gonna get a knife from the kitchen and slit his throat. He passed out terrified and crying and i left him gently on the ground and looked up at his mate who did nothing to stop me at any stage and told him to drag him out or I'll get him.

He grabbed his mate who came too just as they were at the door, he jumped up looked at me, said nothing and left tears still flowing and bottom lip quivering!!

I don't know where the evil chit chat came form, maybe too much Dexter but I still feel like I'm 20ft tall.

Prob no real reason for this thread but boasting, but I feel so good!! Thanks for reading

James Forde

What the fûck did I just read?

senorwipesalot

Take_Her_Handy wrote: »

Was i nthe local chippie last nite, just picking up herself from work and went in for a bit of grub before she closed.

Two lads walked in, I know them to see and I nodded and said well lads since there was no body else in the place, one of them said hi but the other started to call me names and jeer, I tout cool just read the paper and ignore it, I'd leave only me fiance is just about to serve him so I hung around

Blast him with vinegar.

bfocusd

is this missing an ending cause im confused??

kfallon

Sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder OP!

That defo wasn't the plaice to be starting trouble, but he might have just been coddin' ya!

You were lucky you weren't battered tho.

:P

SomeFool

still drunk from last night?

minidazzler

So you got made fun of? Hardly being attacked now is it,

dxhound2005

Take_Her_Handy wrote: »

Was i nthe local chippie last nite, just picking up herself from work and went in for a bit of grub before she closed.

Two lads walked in, I know them to see and I nodded and said well lads since there was no body else in the place, one of them said hi but the other started to call me names and jeer, I tout cool just read the paper and ignore it, I'd leave only me fiance is just about to serve him so I hung around

Reading the paper in a chip shop. That's strange.

Vicxas

Wait i missed something...


so the cops knew he was a snitch all along?

kfallon

dxhound2005 wrote: »

Reading the paper in a chip shop. That's strange.

Especially as there was a portion of chips in it

Maybe that's why yer man got annoyed, OP grabbed his chips just so he could read the problem page that was wrapped around the fellas order! I mean I'd take offence to that!

arybvtcw0eolkf

minidazzler wrote: »

So you got made fun of? Hardly being attacked now is it,

Nothing compared to what the AH'ers are gonna do to the poor guy.

theteal

1) it's ireland, it's called a chipper
2) when did this "well lad" sh!te replace "hello"? There's a couple of lads over here that say it and i can't help but feel its a bit disrespectful and an absolutely absurd way to start a conversation
3) that story reads like a poxy arthouse film where something is about to happen and then the credits pop up leaving you to make your own conclusion.......balls to that, this is AH, show me the fight at the end!


Sorry OP, wrong side of the bed this morning

Take_Her_Handy

Sorry guy's, Don't know what happened, half of the post went up first and had to edit and finish it as quick as I could!!

Kells...

Don't let your girlfriend know that

W.Shakes-Beer

We got a badass over here

---

V

Dudess

minidazzler wrote: »

So you got made fun of? Hardly being attacked now is it,

Well there was the bottle of vinegar bit and the temple bit.

Seachmall

It's for situations like these I bought this book, it's got everything you need to know about defending yourself and it's written by a power ranger so you know it's effective.

Take_Her_Handy

TroutFisher wrote: »

Don't let your girlfriend know that

What? she was there screaming at me the whole time, but thanked me after!! This chipper employs no male's, It's all girls, I do be afraid for her alot of the time's!! Was happy I could do something!!

hondasam

Take_Her_Handy wrote: »

What? she was there screaming at me the whole time, but thanked me after!! This chipper employs no male's, It's all girls, I do be afraid for her alot of the time's!! Was happy I could do something!!

Best thing you could do is get a mod to delete this thread.

dxhound2005

Take_Her_Handy wrote: »

What? she was there screaming at me the whole time, but thanked me after!! This chipper employs no male's, It's all girls, I do be afraid for her alot of the time's!! Was happy I could do something!!

You missed the joke there. It was about you finishing quickly.

howamidifferent

Take_Her_Handy wrote: »

What? she was there screaming at me the whole time, but thanked me after!! T

Did she batter yer sausage after for ya?

Take_Her_Handy

theteal wrote: »

2) when did this "well lad" sh!te replace "hello"? There's a couple of lads over here that say it and i can't help but feel its a bit disrespectful and an absolutely absurd way to start a conversation


Sorry OP, wrong side of the bed this morning

No problem man, This is the way you say hello to a group of lads here in the midlands, Either that or well sham's. I'm only 26, so still down with the local kids lingo It's not disrespectful or anything, just how it's done around here!!

Seachmall

theteal wrote: »

2) when did this "well lad" sh!te replace "hello"? There's a couple of lads over here that say it and i can't help but feel its a bit disrespectful and an absolutely absurd way to start a conversation

Story, horse!

Take_Her_Handy

dxhound2005 wrote: »

You missed the joke there. It was about you finishing quickly.

Ha ha ha, oh yes, very good :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Take_Her_Handy

Seachmall wrote: »

Story, horse!

Not 3 bad, & urself?

Seachmall

Take_Her_Handy wrote: »

Not 3 bad, & urself?

Bollikin bout, bossman some cunt.

aujopimur

The ending should have read, " boy did I get the ride when we got home".

minidazzler

Dudess wrote: »

minidazzler wrote: »

So you got made fun of? Hardly being attacked now is it,

Well there was the bottle of vinegar bit and the temple bit.

That stuff wasn't there on first reading I think....if it was I'm blaming my lack of glasses.

Dudess

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

We got a badass over here

---

V

I'm on my phone - can someone please post the pic?!

HAAA! HAAA!

theteal wrote: »

1)
2) when did this "well lad" sh!te replace "hello"? There's a couple of lads over here that say it and i can't help but feel its a bit disrespectful and an absolutely

Well lad? I've yet to hear this one. Is this another trend like the travellers carrying pimp sticks?

Well lad, how go you this fine morn, go you to harvest lad. or bring fair maiden. haw haw haw. Bring me my pimp cane lad.

El Weirdo

Take_Her_Handy wrote: »

Was i the local chippie last nite, just picking up herself from work and went in for a bit of grub before she closed.

Two lads walked in, I know them to see and I nodded and said well lads since there was no body else in the place, one of them said hi but the other started to call me names and jeer, I tout cool just read the paper and ignore it, I'd leave only me fiance is just about to serve him so I hung around. The scumbag then started on herself and threw a bottle of vinegar at her, this is where I told him to stop being a scumbag and leave her alone!!

Straight away he came for me and landed a lovely hook on the temple but was as hard as cotton wool (fast but weak) So I got him by the throat and squeezed, then turned him around and got him into a choke hold, one I've used before and will always put them out in 15-20 seconds. Next part I'm so happy with, So I started to tell him that he was about to pass out in about 10 seconds, nothing he can do about it, and jokingly said that when he was out cold I was gonna get a knife from the kitchen and slit his throat. He passed out terrified and crying and i left him gently on the ground and looked up at his mate who did nothing to stop me at any stage and told him to drag him out or I'll get him.

He grabbed his mate who came too just as they were at the door, he jumped up looked at me, said nothing and left tears still flowing and bottom lip quivering!!

I don't know where the evil chit chat came form, maybe too much Dexter but I still feel like I'm 20ft tall.

Prob no real reason for this thread but boasting, but I feel so good!! Thanks for reading

Pfft. I had sex with Mila Kunis last night.

Take_Her_Handy

El Weirdo wrote: »

Pfft. I had sex with Mila Kunis last night.

Fair play

glad you and GF are ok OP, but are you not afraid they might go back and target her at another time? When you are not around?

Mind you, Id say they are just mindless spineless cowards, but you never know.