Auxiliary Saint Drive-by Blessings.

LETHAL LADY

Yesterday about 12 noon I was the victim of a drive-by blessing. On my way home from a walk with my son and my mother, our stroll was suddenly interrupted by someone roaring at us from a car across the street. We turned around to find it was the local parish priest shouting at my mother.
"Hey, were you able to make it this morning" he said.
She said "No Father".
He then said "Not to worry I have them in the car". He then jumped out with two F**k off candles.
My mother walked over to him and on a busy street with lots of people passing he blessed her throat.
"Sure come over and we will do you" he then shouted at me.
"Sh**e" I thought to myself.
Now I am not religious or am I rude in public so with much embarrassment I went over to the priest and he crossed two candles around my throat and said a blessing.
Turns out twas St. Blaises Day.:eek:

Silverfish

What the blazes.

BOHtox

So you're saying the priest blessed your mother's throat with his big fúck off candle?

mother o' Jaysus

policarp

Bless the throat.
Stop expectorating.
Good old Blaise. . .

wendell borton

BOHtox wrote: »

So you're saying the priest blessed your mother's throat with his big fúck off candle?

Is that some sort of sexual inuendo?

LETHAL LADY

wendell borton wrote: »

Is that some sort of sexual inuendo?

Heavens forbid.:eek:

Only in Ireland!

senorwipesalot

The oul exorcisms are gone a bit slack .The clergy will take any opportunity for a sacrement.

Johro

Careful now.

Underdraft

wendell borton wrote: »

Is that some sort of sexual inuendo?

inherendo.

Tesco Massacre

Sure didn't the Lord himself love an oul drive-by blessing.

Straight outta Jerusalem, bitch.

Chuck Stone

I caught my Mother flicking holy water on me from one of those little bless-yourself-as-you-leave pots (because I'm a heathen).

I pretended it stung like acid.

fortwilliam

That would get on my wick !

Underdraft

Was your mother impressed by the size of his candle?

Mr. Rager

Drive-by blessings are becoming a daily occurence these days, not to mention the vast quantity of counterfeit communion in circulation and the turf wars between the Caths and Prods.

Don't feel safe walking these streets alone anymore.

gizmorox

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Yesterday about 12 noon I was the victim of a drive-by blessing. On my way home from a walk with my son and my mother, our stroll was suddenly interrupted by someone roaring at us from a car across the street. We turned around to find it was the local parish priest shouting at my mother.
"Hey, were you able to make it this morning" he said.
She said "No Father".
He then said "Not to worry I have them in the car". He then jumped out with two F**k off candles.
My mother walked over to him and on a busy street with lots of people passing he blessed her throat.
"Sure come over and we will do you" he then shouted at me.
"Sh**e" I thought to myself.
Now I am not religious or am I rude in public so with much embarrassment I went over to the priest and he crossed two candles around my throat and said a blessing.
Turns out twas St. Blaises Day.:eek:

Priceless:D:D:D

LETHAL LADY

What next for the auxilary saints? They seem to be a shower of forgotten blessers.

Tesco Massacre

fjsanchez wrote: »

Drive-by blessings are becoming a daily occurence these days, not to mention the vast quantity of counterfeit communion in circulation and the turf wars between the Caths and Prods.

Don't feel safe walking these streets alone anymore.

It all started when God sent his son to the Middle East. That was a bad call on his part.

Damn right he was gonna get his ass crucified. Dumb cracker all up in everyone's bidness.

policarp

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

What next for the auxilary saints? They seem to be a shower of forgotten blessers.

St. Brendan, St Columcille, St Bridget (Brid), + every parish in this country has a Saint named after them. . .

senorwipesalot

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I caught my Mother flicking holy water on me from one of those little bless-yourself-as-you-leave pots (because I'm a heathen).

I pretended it stung like acid.

I have also been a victim of an oul wan spraying me with Legionaires Disease.

suicide_circus

Tesco Massacre wrote: »

Sure didn't the Lord himself love an oul drive-by blessing.

Straight outta Jerusalem, bitch.

Westbank, motherf*cker!

senorwipesalot

St Blaise,patron saint of sore throats and fireplaces.
Them crazy christians eh.