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What to do!?

  • 02-02-2012 10:13pm
    #1
    ToyotaMad94
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 55 ✭✭


    Hi all,
    So...I was with a girl I really liked this time last year and things didn't work out, simply because she met someone else and we went our separate ways. She's been single for a few months now and we got chatting again! We met in a club one night last week and things happened (nothing major) and that was that! I mentioned about what happened to her and if she ment it, and she said she is confused about her feelings for me as she doesn't know if she likes me or not!
    I need your help on what i should do or say to her to be back with her as i do love her deep down. Cheers!


Comments

  • #2
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 54,834 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    Well, firstly, are you sure it's really love and not just infatuation. If it were me I probably wouldn't declare to her that you love her cause that's probably a bit too much.

    Instead, ask her out. Tell her you like her. :)


  • #3
    the_syco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,315 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    You need to ask yourself if you'll be used as "someone until the next 'one' comes along", or if you think it'll be long term?


  • #4
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Moved from tGC.


  • #5
    LighterGuy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    - Guy dates girl.
    - It doesnt work out as she meets someone else (FLAG)
    - Her new relationship doesnt work out too and she goes back to being single.
    - Original guy bumps into girl in a club and things happen (kissing, what not)
    - He says whats the story and she replies "i dont know if I like you that way or not" (FLAG)




    Cut the cord man. To hell with her.
    Its clear she isnt into you that way. Thats cool, so be it, no one man can get with every woman. But you originally dated her, only for her to give you the elbow when someone else came along. That alone states cut the cord. But now thats shes single again she'll kiss you (etc) in a club? ...

    Steer clear. Cause you'll get used man.


  • #6
    Katgurl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,145 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    I agree with LighterGuy.

    If she was really into you she wouldn't have swanned off with someone else.

    If she was now saying "I realise what a mistake I made, could we give it another go?" that would be something to consider. But she's not. So for your own self esteem you need to walk away.

    On the plus she sounds like a nice girl - she's reluctant to hurt you / use you again when it's clear she doesn't reciprocate your feelings. So further down the line you may end up friends.

    But romancewise there is nothing to salvage here IMO.


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  • #7
    ToyotaMad94
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 55 ✭✭ToyotaMad94


    Katgurl wrote: »
    I agree with LighterGuy.

    If she was really into you she wouldn't have swanned off with someone else.

    If she was now saying "I realise what a mistake I made, could we give it another go?" that would be something to consider. But she's not. So for your own self esteem you need to walk away.

    On the plus she sounds like a nice girl - she's reluctant to hurt you / use you again when it's clear she doesn't reciprocate your feelings. So further down the line you may end up friends.

    But romancewise there is nothing to salvage here IMO.
    That's true but, it was mainly my fault she steered into someone else. It's me that should be saying "I realise what a mistake I made, could we give it another go?"

    It's not that easy to walk away either when you really like someone and have been gettin on well in the past while!


  • #8
    daisybelle2008
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭daisybelle2008


    ToyotaMad94 wrote: »
    That's true but, it was mainly my fault she steered into someone else. It's me that should be saying "I realise what a mistake I made, could we give it another go?"

    It's not that easy to walk away either when you really like someone and have been gettin on well in the past while!

    OK that is not quiet the 'she simply met someone else', that you said in your original post.

    Looks like you are taking more of the responsibility than you should in order to justify in your head trying to get her back. If everytime the chips are down and she 'steers' into someone else, she is not someone you will fully trust down the line.

    As she told you she is not sure if she likes you, you run the risk of being needy and clingy and latching onto scraps of hope. All the while looking less attractive and too available in her eyes.

    Her actions have demonstrated that she is not interested, don't waste time and energy on this. It will run down your self esteem further. Wait until you meet someone who is as into you as you are into them.

    She knows how you feel, leave it at that.


  • #9
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    ToyotaMad94 wrote: »
    ...things didn't work out, simply because she met someone else
    ToyotaMad94 wrote: »
    ...it was mainly my fault she steered into someone else

    Which is it OP because my advice really depends on the circumstances under which things didn't work out last time...


  • #10
    Vicxas
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,526 ✭✭✭✭Vicxas


    Id say IMO that you should back away as it seems like you're a stop gap between relationships.


  • #11
    ToyotaMad94
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 55 ✭✭ToyotaMad94


    Basically what happened from start until now is:
    We were meeting each other early last year. I wasn't really interested and had no time to do anything with her. She met someone else in the meantime and we went our own separate ways. We got talking again after summer 2011 and in the past month or two things have been really going well. We met up in a club on her birthday, kissed and that was that.
    I asked her if she meant what we did that night and if she has feelings for me and she said she didn't regret what happened and really enjoyed being with me that night but is confused whether she has feelings for me or not.

    I don't want to stray away from her as most of ye are saying. :/


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  • #12
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    In that case OP, I don't think you've got anything to lose from laying your cards on the table - be honest about mucking her around a bit last time but since you met up again you've really fallen for her and would love to give it another go this time giving it 100%...and then leave the ball in her court.

    She could just be a bit nervous that you aren't serious, things will go the same way again and she'll end up looking a bit of a mug.

    All the best you. :cool:


  • #13
    missbelle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 494 ✭✭missbelle


    OP, as you said yourself, when you first got together you messed her around a bit and whatnot, she is probably afraid of letting herself like you again in case you drop her.
    Have a chat with her, and apologise for the way you treated her, but since you've seen her again you've realised you missed her & you'd like to give things a shot :)


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