Why is he being like this?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I was dating a guy in my office for about 6 months and things were going really well. He broke up with me because he was still cut up over his last relationship and was adamant we stayed friends because we got on so well. I was cut up over the breakup but eventually I came to terms with it and was happy with being friends, with the principle of I'd rather have him in my life even only as a friend than not at all. We had really clicked so well.

We stayed in touch for a few weeks texting and meeting up for the odd coffee, then the contact dropped suddenly but we remained civil in the office. I also came to terms with the fact that being friends was probably not a good idea so I was happy enough to remain civil and friendly in the office.

And then one day we pass each other and he completely ignores me as I say hello. You know when someone just looks right through you? It was exactly like that. It was so cold. I'm completely baffled, why is he ignoring me now? I didn't badmouth him to anyone or behave in a clingy way when we broke up. I gave him his space when it became clear he wasn't interested in being friends.

Why go from really getting on with me to hating me for no apparent reason? I could understand if I broke his heart but I didn't.

LovelyLottie

He's being an @sshole. Count yourself lucky that you're not going out with him anymore, if this is his idea of 'friendship'.

Personally, i never stay friends with exes, but seeing as you both work together i can see why you attempted to do this.

Sorry that he's being like this to you, but who knows why he's acting like this. You're not together anymore so for your own sanity stop trying to figure him out. Focus your attentions on a guy who will be civil and kind to you. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

LovelyLottie wrote: »

He's being an @sshole. Count yourself lucky that you're not going out with him anymore, if this is his idea of 'friendship'.

Personally, i never stay friends with exes, but seeing as you both work together i can see why you attempted to do this.

Sorry that he's being like this to you, but who knows why he's acting like this. You're not together anymore so for your own sanity stop trying to figure him out. Focus your attentions on a guy who will be civil and kind to you. Best of luck.

Thanks for your reply Lovely Lottie. I realised after the contact suddenly stopped that being friends was not going to happen and friends made me realise this was for the best so I was happy with not being friends but just civil to each other. Its a pity that he now seems to hate me but like you said who knows what hes thinking

Graciefacey

Is there any chance back with the ex and she's not comfortable with ye chatting?

ChannelNo5

Hey OP

This situation is scarily familiar to me. Without going into my own situation, the whole thing was handled really badly be me, him and others and eventually came to a point where HR and managers got involved. You may be luckier in that him ignoring you does not inpact on your ability to do your work. If it does, don't let it fester like i did. Either speak to him directly if you feel up to it or talk to somebody else in work and explain how it is affecting you.

In any case it must be upsetting for you as we spend so much time working we don't want that atmosphere on top of all our work hassles:(

From bitter experience i would say if you don't have to have contact with him for work purposes, don't! Try not to make yourself miserable analysing the situation like i did for a year!! The truth is not going to come to you unless he decides to tell you and its quite possible even he doesn't know or have a good reason why he's behaving the way he is.

I do hope it all works itself out for you. It's so upsetting being left in the dark wondering what the hell happened

LovelyLottie

OP he doesn't hate you. Unfortunately, he just doesn't care enough to take your feelings into consideration. I know that hurts. Whatever is going on in his head, it's easier for him to ignore you than to make the effort to be friendly.

Try and stay out of his way as much as you can, so that you can try to move on. Work situations like this can be very difficult and upsetting, because there's no break from it. Continue being the 'bigger' person as you have been so far, and hopefully soon you'll find someone else to occupy your thoughts. Good luck.