Applying for Divorce and defaulting on Mortgage

ToonLoon

Hi All,
Some background…. Got married 6 years ago, after only 2 years of marriage, the wife had affair and left the family home, thankfully… there were no kids.

Upon marriage we purchased a property in joint names for the “family home”. This property is now worth €110k, and the remaining mortgage is €115k (in joint names). There is another house, that’s solely in my name, which I have rented out. I purchased this property before the marriage. ..and topped up on it’s mortgage by €80k in order to buy the “family home” when married. The remaining mortgage on this property is now €120k and the property value is approx €100k.

I have remained living in the “family home” for the 4 years and have managed to maintain payment of all the mortages for the past 4 years without any contribution from her.

For the past 2 years I have being trying to get her to commit to some kind of a separation agreement. I have offered to buy her out of the “family home” for €65k, but she refused this offer. In the past year it has become apparent that I can no longer afford to keep the “family home” so I need to either give the house to her or sell the property.

I asked the bank to transfer the remaining mortgage into her name. They said that they would meet with her to discuss this, but she has refused to arrange a meeting with them. She is refusing to sign anything to sell the “family home” as she wants to keep this property and rent it out for her own means.

Over the 4 years I have spent a lot of money on (€35k approx.) mortgages and solictors letters.
I have given up on this being resolved amicably by separation agreement and I feel that I now have no other option but to defualt on the mortgage and apply for divorce.

Does anyone have any experience of a situation like this or advice on how I should approach this… or even another suggestion on how I can get rid of all this, as I am at my wits end ?

blueythebear

ToonLoon wrote: »

Hi All,
Some background…. Got married 6 years ago, after only 2 years of marriage, the wife had affair and left the family home, thankfully… there were no kids.

Upon marriage we purchased a property in joint names for the “family home”. This property is now worth €110k, and the remaining mortgage is €115k (in joint names). There is another house, that’s solely in my name, which I have rented out. I purchased this property before the marriage. ..and topped up on it’s mortgage by €80k in order to buy the “family home” when married. The remaining mortgage on this property is now €120k and the property value is approx €100k.

I have remained living in the “family home” for the 4 years and have managed to maintain payment of all the mortages for the past 4 years without any contribution from her.

For the past 2 years I have being trying to get her to commit to some kind of a separation agreement. I have offered to buy her out of the “family home” for €65k, but she refused this offer. In the past year it has become apparent that I can no longer afford to keep the “family home” so I need to either give the house to her or sell the property.

I asked the bank to transfer the remaining mortgage into her name. They said that they would meet with her to discuss this, but she has refused to arrange a meeting with them. She is refusing to sign anything to sell the “family home” as she wants to keep this property and rent it out for her own means.

Over the 4 years I have spent a lot of money on (€35k approx.) mortgages and solictors letters.
I have given up on this being resolved amicably by separation agreement and I feel that I now have no other option but to defualt on the mortgage and apply for divorce.

Does anyone have any experience of a situation like this or advice on how I should approach this… or even another suggestion on how I can get rid of all this, as I am at my wits end ?

I would doubt that there is anybody in a similar position and the only answer you will get is to ask your solicitor for advice. If you haven't got one, get one.

You're in a serious situation here and for a small investment in a good solicitor, you will save money and hassle in the long run.

Tom Young

Sorry but the charter really doesn't allow for posters to get detailed to advise or assist you. It's a terrible predicament to find yourself in. Solicitor should be able to assist.

Tom Young

If you can avoid defaulting on your mortgage, it should be avoided. If there's no option, speak with your bank manager in confidence. If you feel that there is no way out, there is always another way! Talking to someone usually helps.

Don't be afraid to speak about this to someone you can trust.

You're not alone.

ToonLoon

Thanks a million for the responses.

I wasn't looking for legal advice here... my solicitor has been advising all along... but sometimes an outsiders view can spark a different train of thought.

I've being doing my best not to default on the mortgage... things are looking bleak, purely due to her lack of co-operation... but as you said Tom, "there's always a way out", and I'm a lucky man that I have surrounded myself with such understanding people. I firmly believe that it will come to an end.

Thank you again

Tom Young

Most lending institutions will accept part payment, if you are in dire straits. Most creditors are burying their heads in the sand - try to avoid this.

Also, suggesting mediation to your former partner may be the most cost and stress efficient manner by which to proceed. The suggestion should arise from you on an unmarked (not without prejudice) and sent to the other side.

That is not advice. It is merely a suggestion.

When you feel vexed, just smile. When you feel the need for revenge, stop and count to twelve - don't press send, etc. and walk away.

Every move now must be to limit collateral damage to those who shouldn't be inflicted with the failure (unfortunately) of your relationship.

Just a view.