Hen party invite but not invited to the wedding

loureko

Hi Everyone,

I'm looking for some advice. In November I'm getting married, and it's going to be quite a small wedding in the Netherlands, where my fiance and I live. My Hen party is going to be at home in Dublin.

My question is: is it ok to invite some of my friends in Dublin to the Hen party even though they won't be invited to the wedding?

My very close friends are invited to the wedding but some of my friends who I don't have a lot of contact with anymore aren't (old college/ school friends for example). We still have a great laugh whenever I see them and I think it would be fun for them to come to my Hen's but I don't want to insult anyone.

Looking forward to hearing some feedback!

Lou

I imagine the ladies you mention will be delighted, they get a night out and share in your happiness of the occasion without the feeling of obligation to travel to the wedding which for many would be a tad inconvenient and expensive due to the location

The only likelyhood for offence is for someone who reckons they are a very close friend of yours and you don't see them as that.

gowayouttadat

RoverJames wrote: »

I imagine the ladies you mention will be delighted, they get a night out and share in your happiness of the occasion without the feeling of obligation to travel to the wedding which for many would be a tad inconvenient and expensive due to the location

The only likelyhood for offence is for someone who reckons they are a very close friend of yours and you don't see them as that.

We're having a small family only wedding. My friends are organising a hen even though they won't be at the wedding. I'd say your friends would be delighted to have a good night out

lowkeys

My view on this would be that everyone would be happy to be invited to the hen party and understand that you are just having a small wedding.

D3PO

Its a funny one. If its a stags I seem to think yes its fine purely becasue guys in general have many more aquiantences and generally a smaller group of core friends.

Blokes attitudes are also more of its a night out will be a good laugh and wouldnt be offended by not getting a wedding invite however women and this is a sweeping generalisation seem to get more emotionally attached to each other and many would view it as a snub to not get a wedding invite but to get one to the hens.

so Id say personally its not a good idea unless you at least speak to the people in question prior to the hens and explain that they wont be getting a wedding invite and explain the reasons why.

stargazer 68

As you are going away to get married I think its slightly different than having a hens party and then not inviting them to the wedding here. Especially if you are planning a weekend away hens. If its a night out then I dont think anyone would have a problem with it.

silly

You could just not call it a "hen" as such.
Just ask the girls if they'd like to come out for a girls night out to send you off into married life etc....

Daisy M

I think what your suggesting is fine, it would be different if you were marrying here or having a big wedding. It would be silly to invite people your not close to to a wedding abroad.

confused couple

This has been done to me, Ive been invited to Hens, you assume you are going to the wedding and you have to go. Never assume. People get offended easily, it was girl from work and we had to travel to liverpool for the hen, my colleagues and I were stunned that she invited us to the afters that was three hours journey away. We had chipped in for her hen costs.

Hens are for people who are going to the whole wedding and the bride to be of course. If you are a 100% sure you wont insult people who arent going to the whole event ask, but remember Irish women are quite catty about these things.

Balmed Out

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056330723

similar previous thread from a different perspective.

Gatica

In most cases hens are for the bride and her close friends and sometimes family to celebrate her last days of "freedom" before she marries. People attending the hen usually attend the wedding.
In your situation it's a little different as you're living abroad and are having a small wedding. The best thing to do is to let the people that you're inviting to your hen know that you love their company and want to have them at your hen, and that you're also having a small wedding abroad to which you won't be in a position to invite them. In most cases your friends should be understanding, if they're not, than that's not your problem but theirs.

Chocoholic84

If you were getting married in Dublin, I'd say no, don't invite anyone to the Hen who wouldn't be invited to the wedding. However, as you're getting married abroad and it's going to be a small affair, I would have no problem in receiving an invite to the Hen only
I like Silly's suggestion of not calling it a "hen" as such, and just phrasing it as a night out with the women to send you off into married life!