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Body Dysmorphic Disorder

  • 31-01-2012 4:31am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Reg'd user......in the shadows for this one.

    I suffer from BDD, I have an obsession with my appearance and I feel like its gotten worse in the past couple of months. I am constantly checking how I look in mirrors and I feel an overwhelming sense of disappointment when I don't feel like I look the best I can. I HATE photos of myself. Its hard to describe as I know I'm not a proper minger! I'm slim, big eyes, long hair, great body (in certain fave clothes!) and I'm still really social and fun to be around. I hide my problem very well. Lately I've had a kind of anxiety about leaving the house. I need to spend ages doing my make up and hair and choosing an outfit, the usual girl stuff I suppose, except if (A) I don't think I'll have time to prepare, or (B) I find one of my perceived flaws is particularly noticeable that day, I won't go out. Even to the local shop. The past couple of weeks have been rough, I've barely left the house except to go to work and thats only 2-3 nights a week in a bar. I stay awake most of the night and sleep til the afternoon, but sometimes stay in bed -almost in hiding- if my flatmate has people over or if I don't feel ready to face reality.
    I go to the bathroom sometimes just so I can examine my skin in detail and in private. I am conscious every single time I smile because I'm not happy with my teeth. I had my heart mashed in a relationship a few years ago and this on top of the BDD is getting in the way of having a nice relationship with the usual ups and downs- I'm not looking for perfection, I'm realistic in the other areas of my life.
    I just want to know if others out there are suffering the same stuff as me and are there things that have helped with it? It's very hard to explain the disorder to friends etc. I sound like a really depressed, unhappy AND very vain person, which is not exactly right!


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