Sex life help

OMDF

My partner always seems to lose his erection once we start to have penetrative sex. I would like to know what causes this (he doesn't know) and what we can do to stop this happening. We are together 11 years. Our sex life has always been sporadic and I think this is partly to blame. We never seem to be satisfied with the penetration. Only oral sex or hand stimulation makes him come. I also find it hard to relax enough to get to orgasm by hand stimulation - the only time it happens for me is from penetration and ergo rarely because we don't get that far.
He used to be able to come if he used a lot of force while penetrating me but I found that made me really sore. Any advice?

hullaballoo

There's no real right way to answer this but if your boy is wearing a condom, take it off him and see. If that doesn't work, do some vaginal exercises to keep things tight. If that doesn't work, you're in a relationship with a gay man.

I'm presuming you are together for a little while because the only other option is that he's nervous and that's causing him to have limpness. This could be the case if you're much better-looking than he is.

ManOfMystery

hullaballoo wrote: »

There's no real right way to answer this but if your boy is wearing a condom, take it off him and see.

So, you're condoning them abandoning this method of protection? Sure, why not, let's just take some chances with pregnancy instead.

If that doesn't work, do some vaginal exercises to keep things tight. If that doesn't work, you're in a relationship with a gay man.

Ridiculous thing to say. There a many different reasons for erectile disfunction, and to suggest he is homosexual - based on nothing else than this physical issue - is way off the mark.

I'm presuming you are together for a little while because the only other option is that he's nervous and that's causing him to have limpness.

OP clearly said they're together 11 years.

This could be the case if you're much better-looking than he is.

Again, a ridiculous thing to say. Have you got nothing helpful/useful for the OP? This is an issue for them and doesn't deserve your sarcasm and 'humour'.

OP - as I said above, there are many varied reasons for erectile disfunction. Stress, weight, smoking, many more. Your partner should really speak to his GP about this.

Also, this may be a more personal question, but do you know if he masturbates much (if at all)? Sometimes men who do find it difficult to maintain an erection or climax through normal intercourse, as they're so used to controlling the pace of things themselves. Phsyically it also feels quite different. If he does masturbate a lot, it may be worth abstaining from that for a while to see if it helps.

pigman2000

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Also, this may be a more personal question, but do you know if he masturbates much (if at all)? Sometimes men who do find it difficult to maintain an erection or climax through normal intercourse, as they're so used to controlling the pace of things themselves. Phsyically it also feels quite different. If he does masturbate a lot, it may be worth abstaining from that for a while to see if it helps.

good point here.