why do people tell lies?

summercooper

okay so i am brand new to boards, and im not sure i have posted in the correct section, so please let me know.
i am looking for other peoples opinions on why people feel the need to lie.
i have always been a very truthful and honest person because this is the way my mother and father brought me up, i have always known when i am in the wrong because of this. iam 27, young proffessional and feel like my life is covered in lies because of other people. my "best friend" has recently lied straight to my face, and then asked a complete stranger to both of us to lie to me aswell. at this stage in life i thought she would have more cop on and dignity not to lie to me if i am her friend. as i write this there are so many other people i begin to think about who have lied to get places in life, lied about their education, their qualifications... i just dont get it, why? and im so confused about it, especially because she tells me all the time that im her only real friend and other people dont know her etc...
iam a good friend and i have helped her out alot with lending of money, items and offered her alot of support throughout our lives.
i dont know if this is enough info for people to help but let me know and il tell you everything, im not a gossip and i wouldnt discuss this with other friends.
thanks all... hope boards is good to me!

JuliusCaesar

Moved from the Psychology Forum. JC

Janet1986

For some people it makes their life easier to tell lies than to tell the truth.

A liar will always trip up and forget their lies then the truth comes out

Catari Jaguar

Look, you're a rare breed and the world would be a better, nicer place if more people were like you. But they're not. You can't apply your sense of morality to humankind and then be disappointed if it fails to live up to your personal standards. Accept that some people will let you down at some stage in their lives. Live and let live.

Ellie2008

I have lied at times in the past and yes it was "to make my life easier" as someone else said, I feel guilt for doing this now and am older and wiser and wont be repeating those mistakes. Good for you but dont be so quick to judge others.

qwertytlk

Hi, ok say its horrible for people to tell lies-well big, hurtful or destructive ones anyway. Other lies, i.e white lies. For example your friend asks 'what did you do last night?' you reply 'oh not much, went to bed early' when the truth was you were having passionate sex all evening, or stuffing your face with sweets when your supposedly on a diet. You get the idea. These lies are ok, and in fact are actually a normal healthy part of our makeup as human beings. When babies start to grow up and begin to learn about the world around them and walk/talk etc, they will lie constantly. Its not because they are bold, its because its actually normal (iv breifly studied this in college as part of child development) so anyway when chldren are young their lies may be outrageous, and completley transparent but as they get older they do learn the value of honesty and that it is wrong to tell bad lies such as making bad things up about others, but they also become better liars so that the white lies they tell are more convincing.
Im sorry your friend has lied to you, and from what you said, which wasnt alot, it seems as if she may be one of those bad liars but its kimd of hard to tell from what you have said so if you can give any more information please do.
Its good that you are not a bad liar who is sneaky or deceitful but lets be honest, you do lie. If you really think about it,im sure you tell lies on a daily basis! It all depends on what type of lies they are.
As for wondering why people lie about their qualifications for jobs etc, well its not really a hard one to figure out! Its because they can. And if they want something, ie.a better paid job but its not possible as they havent gotten good enough marks in a test, and they can lie about it, which in all honesty will do no harm as long as they are able for the job or whatever. Surely you can understand this??

qwertytlk

Hi, ok say its horrible for people to tell lies-well big, hurtful or destructive ones anyway. Other lies, i.e white lies. For example your friend asks 'what did you do last night?' you reply 'oh not much, went to bed early' when the truth was you were having passionate sex all evening, or stuffing your face with sweets when your supposedly on a diet. You get the idea. These lies are ok, and in fact are actually a normal healthy part of our makeup as human beings. When babies start to grow up and begin to learn about the world around them and walk/talk etc, they will lie constantly. Its not because they are bold, its because its actually normal (iv breifly studied this in college as part of child development) so anyway when chldren are young their lies may be outrageous, and completley transparent but as they get older they do learn the value of honesty and that it is wrong to tell bad lies such as making bad things up about others, but they also become better liars so that the white lies they tell are more convincing.
Im sorry your friend has lied to you, and from what you said, which wasnt alot, it seems as if she may be one of those bad liars but its kimd of hard to tell from what you have said so if you can give any more information please do.
Its good that you are not a bad liar who is sneaky or deceitful but lets be honest, you do lie. If you really think about it,im sure you tell lies on a daily basis! It all depends on what type of lies they are.
As for wondering why people lie about their qualifications for jobs etc, well its not really a hard one to figure out! Its because they can. And if they want something, ie.a better paid job but its not possible as they havent gotten good enough marks in a test, and they can lie about it, which in all honesty will do no harm as long as they are able for the job or whatever. Surely you can understand this??
I mean if we as human beings didnt occasionally lie, or sugar coat the truth then i think there would be a whole lot of people walking around with their noses seriously out of joint and with very hurt feelings. We lie to protetct people we care about, we lie to make people feel better. So it all depends on what these lies your friend was telling were.

summercooper

thank you for your replies and interest.
i understand that people sugar coat and tell white lies which i can totally see why, its the bare face lying and complete deception that is in a planned lie.
i find it vindictive, and unmoral.. but as you's have pointed out, most people in the world are like this and i should get over it. so i will close this post, thank you

summercooper

summercooper wrote: »

thank you for your replies and interest.
i understand that people sugar coat and tell white lies which i can totally see why, its the bare face lying and complete deception that is in a planned lie.
i find it vindictive, and unmoral.. but as you's have pointed out, most people in the world are like this and i should get over it. so i will close this post, thank you

locking since OP feels this is resolved