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Invisible girl

  • 28-01-2012 12:22am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Sorry but had to post, I'm feeling very down this last few weeks, sometimes think no one would notice if I was around or not.

    I have lots of friends and good family but it feels like I'm always there for my friends if they need anything or want to talk but otherwise I'm invisible.

    When a group of us are together I think what is the point in speaking as no one listens.
    New people seem to come along and get on so well with everyone else and I suppose it makes me jealous as my so called friends make more effort with them.


Comments

  • #2
    wylo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,214 ✭✭✭wylo


    Firstly Ill just say something practical regarding the issue. People ALWAYS make more effort with new people, Ive seen it time and time again, good mates stop making much of an effort with you and all of the sudden they are bright and bubbly with new people around.

    Dont take that personally, its what happens, I can guarantee you if you didnt see that person for a year, and your friend was with the new person for a year and then you two met up again, the friend would be putting in the effort with you this time. Its just what happens.

    BUT

    This is ultimately about you and your own personal happiness.
    Its not about them, at all, you have created a situation where you are ultimately relying on them for you to be happy.
    Ok you cant learn to be happy, but what you CAN do, is learn what it is in your life thats making you feel you need their approval.
    What is it in your life that makes you need to feel significant around them?
    Is it ego? Is it jealousy?

    Im not being hard on you here, doing this can be an amazing very liberating process. Because once you stop relying on friends to be happy, you actually begin to ENJOY their company even more, because all this self assesment/self judgement ego crap goes out the window.

    The best part is, once you begin to be happy in yourself, they enjoy your company more too.


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