Mother owes my girlfriend money, don't know what to do!

LegacyUser

She owes her a few hundred euro since a few months ago (she was laid off her job). She hasn't mentioned it in a few months now and my girlfriend asks me every now and again about it, but I don't want to be involved! Is there any way I can work this guys? I'm feeling really trapped :S

The Lovely Muffin

Ask your girlfriend to speak to your mother instead of involving you.

Or get your mother to speak to your girlfriend and arrange a payment plan that suits both of them.

Easier said than done I know, but if your girlfriend asks you again, just tell her you don't want to be involved and she should speak to your mother about it.

When your girlfriend loaned your mother money - did they agree when your mother would pay it back? Did you make it explicitly clear to both of them that you want no involvement in it, that the agreement was/is between the two of them only?

Sleepy

For me? I'd pay the girlfriend back and let my mother know that I'd done so in a way that would let her know that I expected her to pay me back the money instead.

tinkerbell

OP you need to be sticking up for your girlfriend here. She's your girlfriend who is owed by your mother, you should be helping her with getting the money back. Your girlfriend did something really nice by helping your mother out at a bad time and now you're thinking "screw that, I don't wanna be involved". Well OP you ARE involved because if she wasn't going out with you, she wouldn't have loaned your mother money. Presumably she loaned the money to your mom because she's wanted to help out the mother of her boyfriend.

So grow up and help her get your money back. Tell your mother that she has to pay her back ASAP.

Nyan Cat

I wouldn't pay back your girlfriend and tell the mother to pay you, if it were me. I don't know what your mum is like but I'd fear that it'd only be used as an excuse to keep putting off repaying it as you're her son. This has been my experience with loaning friends money though.

You do need to help your girlfriend here though. As tinkerbell said, she wouldn't have loaned the money if it weren't for who your mother is. You can just tell your mum your girlfriend needs the money now. And if she says she can't pay it all at once tell her to work out a payment schedule with your girlfriend, and please stick to it as you don't want this to interfere with your relationship (if it's necessary to add this last bit, you'll know yourself what to say)

jimmycrackcorm

Sleepy wrote: »

For me? I'd pay the girlfriend back and let my mother know that I'd done so in a way that would let her know that I expected her to pay me back the money instead.

+ 1 if the only reason your girlfriend loaned the money in the first place was because of your relationship.

Neyite

It puts your girlfriend in an awkward position. As another poster said, your girlfriend only lent the money because it was someone you care about being stuck for it. She did something nice, helping your mother out financially at a time of year when she probably really needed it, and your mum is skirting the issue, and you want nothing to do with it. You need to be the intermediary here, and get answers from your mum for your girlfriend. Just mention to your mum that your girlfriend has some bills to sort out and is finding it a bit hard to manage and would she have any of the money owed to her to help out.

Zen65

moneyOP wrote: »

....I don't want to be involved!

You are involved, so what you want in this regard is irrelevant.

If I were you I'd either (a) pay back the money myself and then deal with the issue of the mother not paying it back within the family, or (b) stand up for my girlfriend and put pressure on the mother to pay back what is owed.

I think that by trying to "stay out of it" you are going to be seen as weak and unsupportive by your girlfriend. I think she would be right!

Be at peace,


Z