What To Think Of Him?

LegacyUser

I have a male friend of 7 years now. At first there was a possibility of romantic interest, it seemed we would get together, we kissed, did some other stuff went on dates, but he was always kind of reluctant sometimes, and then began turning me down for dates, saying he was busy. So I left him alone. And of course as soon as I left him alone, he would start paying me attention again, being really good company, making sure he spent time with me, although always platonically with a hint of flirtation. Every so often, what with us both being single, I would suggest a date or a kiss, and he would always reject me, leaving me upset, saying he didn't want to give me the wrong impression. Then I found out he was on an internet dating site, and gradually withdrew from him ie kind of stayed out of his way deliberately.

tbh I don't understand why it didn't develop because we are very compatible, I absolutely adored him, and most guys seem to like me (lets just say I wouldn't have any need to go on an internet dating site), but I can only assume he didn't feel it as much as I did, so I got over him, kept my dignity over being turned down by being pleasant when we met, and now have a serious boyfriend.

But he being he, always seems to bump into me every few months and worm his way into my (platonic) affections again. He is a member of my sports club, and he has made friends with a girl where I keep my horse, although she isn't his girlfriend, and he makes a point of telling me there is nothing going on between them. We all went on holiday together last year and he was so withdrawn that one of the other guys said he was never going anywhere with him again, as his behaviour was so rude. I wonder if he suffers from some kind of social anxiety disorder? I invited him to my house leaving party when I moved flats and he was all keen and then never turned up.

Anyway, whats upset me recently is that he found out I was going on holiday to Spain in February for some winter sun. I said he could come if he liked and he was mega keen. My boyfriend can't make it til the weekend but I am hoping a couple of other people will come too. I had to change the dates of the hol to ones that suited him, gave him all the details after he chased me up about it, he texted and phoned me all last week about it to say how much he was looking forward to it, so I booked the accommodation two days ago. Then this morning he sent a text saying he couldn't make it and was pulling out. I'm not even bothered about asking for the money, because a two bedroom apt at this time of year costs barely more than a 1 bed. But it was like as soon as the holiday was arranged with me, he pulled out.

But I'm pretty sure he has pulled out because he didn't want to risk being alone with me for half the week til my boyfriend arrives. I'm pretty other people will also come at the last minute, but the fact is, he has this pattern of leading me on and then rejecting me.

What on earth should I think of him? Sometimes I think he is mega-flirty guy with a woman in every port, but I actually know he is very shy and rather reticent with the ladies. He's not gay, he has never had a proper girlfriend but what kind of man of 32 deliberately messes someone around repeatedly like he does me? He is intelligent, he must certainly know his behaviour is bad. He is very, very handsome with a lovely gentle manner and I almost feel blown away when he speaks to me, yet he mainly turns down female interest, so it leaves you feeling quite special when you get his attention. If you see what I mean.

For some reason, this latest "episode" has left me feeling quite upset, when its not even that a big thing. I get on so well with him, its very hard to tell him to get lost for good, hence I just tend to ignore him for a while and then he starts seeking me out again.

Does anyone think he is doing this deliberately? Why me?

gmac102

your an ego boost for him. no matter he does u will always be there