Cant stop thinking about girl from abroad

foleypio

hey, i dont know if this is the right place to post about this but i need to,my head is completely messed up over a hungarian girl, we spent a weekend together in budapset after having previously met in another country before. I cant seem to get her out of my head, im absolutely mad about her, usually with girls I dont get like this, in fact I cant remember the last time I really liked a girl. I feel like a right tit,she seems so cool and calm about everything whereas I would do anything to meet her again. I know because of this any sort of relationship is unlikely. But I had the best weekend with her, I arrived over and she met me as soon as I got off the plane and didnt leave my side for the whole weekend. We had only been friends before so I wasnt expecting her to go to such lengths initially but we got together after the first night out and after that I was a goner. We went all over budapest during the day visiting museums,spas, clubs, sites, and we made love all night each night. Me even saying made love is crazy, dont usually talk like this. Anyone have any advice or experience of this before, getting back to life here has been difficult

Overheal

How long ago was this? It sounds like you've set yourself up for a long distance relationship. How does she feel about it?

Miss Fluff

If you feel that strongly about it then you have to pursue it further. Why don't you arrange to go over again for another weekend or take a week if you can?

BraziliaNZ

I wouldn't go crazy with the planning and pursuing etc, try and be cool about this, it sounds like you're head over heels but that doesn't mean she feels the same. Just make sure you don't push it too much or you'll drive her away, leave the ball in her court at times and don't forget who you are. Long distance combined with crazy-love-madness is a match made in hell from my experience so thread carefully.

foleypio

Thanks for the replies guys, I dont know where to begin, I just planned on going over for the weekend and having a bit of of fun with her and her mates (Id met them before aswell) but after the first day of where we spent every second together I knew I was really into her.

I was blown away by just how much effort she went to, she pretty much took me all over Budapest and back showing me everything,driving me everywhere, telling me stories about the place. She didnt expect me to pay for everything either, wanted to go halves on everything.

Ive been in long distance relationships before and have always found them tough but I would definitely go for it with her again.

The thing I cant get is that she was so intimate with me over the weekend, she was continually coming up to me hugging, kissing me in public places likes musuems, I know it sounds a bit sad but Ive never had that with a girl before(Except maybe when I was 17:)) but since I got back she seems a bit distant. I know from talking previously with her that she finds me a bit distant over txt, etc too but thats mainly because I dont want to be coming on too strong and still dont now. I think if I was to do that then it would really kill any chance of a relationship.

Since we got back we've txted back and forth, then I left it two days on purpose cos she started saying things like I think your really precious and good luck with your new business, etc.( which Im in the process of setting up). Do ye think that was her way of saying good bye for good or what? Should I leave it a few weeks before speaking to her again or should I just leave it permanently?

P.s. I know from speaking with her friends initially and then her that she got badly hurt last May when she agreed to move to Holland for some Dutch guy she had been seeing but then he got cold feet at the last minute. Do ye think this is affecting her towards me because I would never do that to her.

Katy89

op, that's a really nice story and I think she REALLY likes you. speaking as a girl and what she done, e.g. behaved when you were over, is texting you now and actually is complimenting you, I can only assume she is really into you!!!

And you think it's the other way around, that's funny:)

Please text her back, you mentioned as well she was hurt before, so she's very sensible now and will withdraw very quickly if you show now reaction to her texts.

I hope you lose your fear of coming across too eager, I actually know that feeling very well, but I think in this case you will destroy the possibility of a nice relationship with acting too cool.

good luck!

foleypio

If I could thank your post for that, I would Katy89.

Right im gonna let her know how much I appreciate what she did for me in Budapest and that I want to repay her for it, ie (have her over here again or show her around another European city Ive been around that she hasnt).

God, seriously, I feel crazy nervous about all this, I dont know whats going on with me, not trying to be cocky but I dont struggle for words like this usually with girls

beks101

I completely agree with Katy89 OP, just go for it. Don't play games or follow silly rules of not texting her for two days or being distant over text because you don't want to come on too strong...trust me, it messes with a girl's head when you do that and if you really care about her, that's the worst way in the world of showing it.

I agree that long-distance set-ups can be a complete head fcuk, especially the early stages when you're infatuated and don't know where you stand, but don't over-think this, it's simple really. You really like her, she really likes you, you have chemistry together. That's rare, so don't let it fade into nothing without at least expressing your interest to her and letting her know how you feel.

Best of luck! And don't just text...call her!

BraziliaNZ

foleypio wrote: »

She didnt expect me to pay for everything either, wanted to go halves on everything..

I don't know what you're used to but that's perfectly normal and expected this side of the 20th century

foleypio wrote: »

P.s. I know from speaking with her friends initially and then her that she got badly hurt last May when she agreed to move to Holland for some Dutch guy she had been seeing but then he got cold feet at the last minute. Do ye think this is affecting her towards me because I would never do that to her.

Something similar happened to me last summer and speaking from my experience this can have a huge effect on trust and your attitude towards relationships. I'd say you should thread carefully she may be cynical about it all with that experience, it really puts you off the whole thing.
Do try though, just don't get carried away.

foleypio

thanx beks, this thread has helped me out alot,

I was drunk in a club at the weekend, drowning my sorrows and started chatting to a Polish girl about it, she told me to leave it pretty much 2/3 weeks before I contact her again, just shows how different peoples point of views can result in such different advice

foleypio

Ok, so here's what I sent her

hey there, sorry i had to go there the last day,i havent had a minute to myself since I got back,between work,getting the business set up and training, im shattered now:)
I never told you how much I appreciate what you did in Budapest for me ...:), ive never had anyone go to such lengths to show me a city before between driving and taking me everywhere, I wish I could repay what you did because the one night we went drinking in Ireland doesnt really match up to it:)

Btw I dont hate Dublin:) but alot of my friends are living up there now and it looks like my time will be split between .... and Dublin for work and my business so im going to have to start looking for a place up there soon aswell,yikes.
Hope your feeling better and looking forward to snowboarding round 2 ms:)

What ye think guys??

foleypio

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I don't know what you're used to but that's perfectly normal and expected this side of the 20th century


Something similar happened to me last summer and speaking from my experience this can have a huge effect on trust and your attitude towards relationships. I'd say you should thread carefully she may be cynical about it all with that experience, it really puts you off the whole thing.
Do try though, just don't get carried away.

Haha! I know what you mean but its just that I always insist but she was having none of it


Yah i know she's probably fragile still and maybe not even over him since it was only 6 months ago so ill probably relax on the intensity

Faith

It's a nice email but it doesn't actually move anything forward. Why not actually suggest doing something? If I got that email after being ignored for a period of time, I wouldn't reply. There's not even a question in there for her to answer. Also that bit about splitting your time between wherever and Dublin could be construed as you saying you'd have no time to see her. At the very least ask her how she is, don't just say "hope you're well". That's a brush-off in my book. Just actually say what you mean and you'll be fine (I.E. Not "I wish I could repay you", but "I want to repay you - how about a weekend in X some time?")

foleypio

Faith wrote: »

It's a nice email but it doesn't actually move anything forward. Why not actually suggest doing something? If I got that email after being ignored for a period of time, I wouldn't reply. There's not even a question in there for her to answer. Also that bit about splitting your time between wherever and Dublin could be construed as you saying you'd have no time to see her. At the very least ask her how she is, don't just say "hope you're well". That's a brush-off in my book. Just actually say what you mean and you'll be fine (I.E. Not "I wish I could repay you", but "I want to repay you - how about a weekend in X some time?")

Looks like your right, havent heard anything back from her since that message, if she does im just gonna come straight out with it and ask her to meet me again and see what shes says, better knowing than not knowing ya?

foleypio

just an update guys, i sent her another message after the last one saying **** it, id really like to see you again,would u like to meet up?

still havent had a reply, have been an emotional wreck the last 2 weeks since I was with her, dont know what is going with me:) at least I can live with the fact that she just isnt plain interested in me now, at least I tried though and can live with that. Better knowing someone isnt into you rather than hoping they are.

This is the last post ill be making so thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it,

Im some ****ing tit btw, bye

Odaise Gaelach

Sorry to hear it didn't work out. But you're not a ****ing tit.