Getting Engaged

GoodMan55985

Hi,

I have been thinking about engaged for the last while. Just wondering how did you guys propose. I have some ideas of my own but I just want to get some ideas from guys that have been through this. Did you have the ring got in advance and did you propose while away on a break or maybe at home at a special place for you both.

Cheers

Bride2012

My fiancé proposed on a weekend away and with a token ring. This for him was a cubic zirconia for about €30 (can get them in Argos for under a tenor). This meant that we had a ring for the proposal but I could pick out my own the following day so I got one I loved.

The actual proposal was a meal out followed by a moonlit stroll by the sea and him down on bended knee. I loved it anyway.

RHN Ireland

My partner proposed last September. We were on holiday in a place that had a lot of personal memories for me but that was "our" first visit to the city and he found the place that I had loved the most and ended up proposing there. It's one of the happiest and joyous memories that I have and I will always be glad that he put that time and attention into planning the proposal.

Few Things to Consider -

Find a place that has meaning to your partner or to both of you. I loved the spot before now I'll always remember it as a magical place.

Don't worry to much about what you say. I had to get my partner to say the words again to me later as I hadn't actually heard anything after I realised he was down on one knee!

With the ring I had let it be known that I would prefer to pick my own as I'm quite fussy when it comes to rings. He found an old costume ring I kept for nights out and used that. It's now an Heirloom piece that I'll treasure forever (it's going to be my something old in my dress!)

Finally ENJOY the moment. If you've put time and thought into your proposal it won't matter how or why, but the fact that you're posting this up here says that you care.

Good luck!

prettygurrly

I'm of the contingency of having THE ring presented to me. Might be good to know what your girl would like...

Acoshla

My fiance proposed while we were chatting on our couch at 4am after a fancy dress night out. We were chatting about friends of ours getting engaged and he said "We should do it! Yes, let's get married!"

TheDriver

I didn't buy the ring because she could pick out whatever she wanted afterwards, she actually preferred what I did than to be presented with what I thought would be right.

Get her kinda annoyed is another good way, she definitely won't be expecting it.
Oh, and one knee.........

baby and crumble

I'm a believer in doing this research with the people she knows best- her friends, etc. Because some people here will prefer a token ring and then a shopping trip together, some will want 'the ring' as someone else mentioned, some will want a public proposal, some would love to be proposed to at home, some would prefer their prospective fiance ask their parents permission/ blessing...

For what it's worth I made a bit of a hames of mine- I packed a picnic and suggested going to the city we got together in, found a nice spot, couldn't eat my sandwiches because I was so nervous, she thought I was breaking up with her because I was so quiet and said "I have something to say" in an ominous voice, and then when I did whip the 'ring' out, I opened the box upside down. I still have no idea what I said, neither does she. Oh well.

Jimmmy McNulty

baby and crumble wrote: »

I'm a believer in doing this research with the people she knows best- her friends, etc. Because some people here will prefer a token ring and then a shopping trip together, some will want 'the ring' as someone else mentioned, some will want a public proposal, some would love to be proposed to at home, some would prefer their prospective fiance ask their parents permission/ blessing...

For what it's worth I made a bit of a hames of mine- I packed a picnic and suggested going to the city we got together in, found a nice spot, couldn't eat my sandwiches because I was so nervous, she thought I was breaking up with her because I was so quiet and said "I have something to say" in an ominous voice, and then when I did whip the 'ring' out, I opened the box upside down. I still have no idea what I said, neither does she. Oh well.

Still a good story I think!

prettygurrly

sometimes things just dont go to plan but your sentiment was there! god love you!

okiss

D'ont buy a proper ring before proposing. I would get a costume ring.
The ones in Marks and Spencer are nice for around the €20 mark and they don't tarnish.
I would not chat to her friends and family about this either as they could tell her.
I would not like other people to know that my boyfriend was going to propose to me as this is between a couple not everyone that knows them.

Cedrus

A colleague of mine took his longtime GF to Paris to propose, excitement, expectation, lovely hotel, went up the Tour d'Eiffel, excitement rising, got to the top, looked around, took some pictures, headed back down. She was like a BEAR.
The dinner on the river would have been lovely if she wasn't in such a bad mood, she did pick up when he produced the ring and proposed over dessert. And they all lived happily ever after.
Don't be too dogmatic about a big plan.

prettygurrly

okiss wrote: »

D'ont buy a proper ring before proposing. I would get a costume ring.

yet again, there are some of us who would be really p***ed off if we were presented with a costume ring...tread carefully - I think someone will be able to tell you. I've been told by my friends that they plan to propose and never let on...some of us can keep secrets. If you're completely unsure about whether she would like you to present with a costume ring or a real ring then you've a bit of work to do.

baby and crumble

prettygurrly wrote: »

sometimes things just dont go to plan but your sentiment was there! god love you!

Ah well she still said yes and was shopping for bridemaids dresses that evening, so I can't have messed up too much!

Point is, the quest for a 'perfect' proposal is silly, and really, it does just come down to the sentiment behind it. Sure, I was at a NY Knicks game and someone proposed on the big jumbotron screen thingy. Lots of people would be of the opinion that that's not very romantic, but she certainly looked delighted with herself! You just need to get the basics right, don't over think it, and go with it.

Bride2012

That's true, don't over think it or you'll be in a flap.

The token ring (then pick your own) v's the actual ring is the main issue here.

I was happy that I got to pick my own as I got something unusual that I love and my friend who got engaged two years previously was proposed to with the actual ring and to me her ring is nice but looks like the save option/bit boring. It just looks like a ring that was picked by the guy if that makes sense. Now that's fine and many guys have great taste and know her taste well enough to avoid this but it is risky that it's not one she'll really love. As others have said, you need to find this out. Maybe bring up a couple you know who got engaged recently in general chat and try to steer it to who picked the ring and what she thinks of that. Sounds hard to do without giving the game away though.

Dinkie

My OH proposed to me last Christmas with a token ring. It looks a bit like an eternity ring which is nice enough to wear on another finger when I get the real one. The token ring is absolutely beautiful and totally me. I haven't bothered getting a real ring yet, as I love this one.

I was on the couch in my pj's watching big bang theory, saying that my sister was going to talk to him about proposing (her bf is refusing to propose until we had got engaged as I am about 5 years older then her and they wanted us to get engaged first). He disappeared for about 5 mins and returned ashen faced and nervous looking. He then got down on one knee and asked me! He had been thinking about it for nearly a year and had the ring in his pocket for the previous month waiting for the right time.

In my opinion it doesn't matter how you do it, as long as the sentiment is there (as it obviously is in your case).

It was perfect for me.

baby and crumble

Dinkie wrote: »

My OH proposed to me last Christmas with a token ring. It looks a bit like an eternity ring which is nice enough to wear on another finger when I get the real one. The token ring is absolutely beautiful and totally me. I haven't bothered getting a real ring yet, as I love this one.

I was on the couch in my pj's watching big bang theory, saying that my sister was going to talk to him about proposing (her bf is refusing to propose until we had got engaged as I am about 5 years older then her and they wanted us to get engaged first). He disappeared for about 5 mins and returned ashen faced and nervous looking. He then got down on one knee and asked me! He had been thinking about it for nearly a year and had the ring in his pocket for the previous month waiting for the right time.

In my opinion it doesn't matter how you do it, as long as the sentiment is there (as it obviously is in your case).

It was perfect for me.

Awwwwwwwwwwwww...

qwerty13

I'd be livid if my Dad was asked for his "permission".
I'd be upset if anyone (friends or family) knew first.
I wouldn't like the bended knee thing at all.
I'd feel like running away if it was in front of a crowd of people.
I'd prefer to pick my own ring.

But the above are what I'd prefer - I'm sure you know your GF's personality well enough to answer how she feels about the first 4 points. The last is a little harder. Can you recall if she has ever commented on on the ring being bought first/picked out afterwards?

GoodMan55985

Thanks all for the feedback. Much appreciated.

micropig

Holiday in Malta, Oh surprised me on a remote clifftop, he had bought the ring already-Luckily it fit and I loved it!

missgroovy21

Theres no such thing as the perfect proposal everyone is different.....relax.....pick somewhere sweet even if its at home with wine roses and lots of candles.....that sounds good to me

jonnyfingers

I proposed while on holiday in Lanzarote. It was the destination of our first holiday together and we had planned to go back anyway. The timing just worked to do the proposal at the same time.

I did it early into the holiday, on our third day there. I rented a car and drove to a lovely secluded beach. We spend the early afternoon there and then drove back for a quick shower and a change of clothes. I had booked a restaurant in a tiny fishing village which was right next to the sea, about 10 feet from the water! We had the most amazing seafood which was caught right in water outside that morning. We spent a good two hours there eating, drinking and watching the sunset. After that the plan was to walk to the end of the volcanic beach and pop the question.

Unfortunately the beach was far from deserted and hundreds of locals were out for an evening swim. So Plan B was put into action, drive to the top of one of the volcanic mountains to a small village which had a lovely white church with a stunning view of the sun setting over the west of the Island. I'd pop the question there.

Unfortunately the view was so good they built a restaurant to take advantage of it so once again my secluded proposal spot was non-existent. After a quick panic and some equally quick thinking I spotted a viewing platform a little down the mountain and suggested we walk there. We got there just as the sun dipped below the horizon and the sky went an amazing orange colour. So down on one knee I went, whipped out the emerald token ring I had bought for the occasion, and said the magic words.

My fiancee went through a load of emotions in a few seconds, shock, disbelief, happiness, skepticism etc. before finally saying yes! One last twist of misfortune is that the ring I'd bought her didn't fit, even though I'd sized it off another of her rings. Turns out she had toned up a little and lost a little weight off her fingers. She also asked did I buy the quite expensive emerald ring in one of the cheap Chinese shops in the resort! Cheek!

The rest of the holiday we kept the engagement to ourselves, until we flew back to the UK and went to Hatton Garden to pick out her proper ring, and then told everyone.

So lessons to be learned.

1. Proposing on holiday can be stressful as you have to do some previous planning while not in the same country.

2. Also having to bring the ring with you on your holiday travels, and keeping it hidden, is not easy, e.g. through airport security, by the pool, on beaches.

3. Things will not always go to plan. It doesn't matter, in fact it's the little mistakes that make the memory all that more special.

4. Unless you've been given clear instructions by her, you will not propose exactly how your girlfriend wants it to be. In the big scheme of things it doesn't matter so just go ahead and make it as special as you can.

5. Definitely try to find out if your girlfriend would like to pick out her ring or if she wouldn't mind if you picked one for her. Personally picking one is dangerous as I found out my girlfriend had a good idea what she wanted but when we went to try on rings she found out her mind wasn't as made up as she'd thought. If in doubt get a token ring.

6. Most of all enjoy it, it is a special time, and don't get carried away with "the proposal", remember it's about why you want to marry this person not the way you ask them to.

Muckit

OK.....time for another guy's perspective (just got married two weeks ago;))....

Did you ask anyone how you would go about chatting her up when you first laid eyes on her? That obviously worked out...

So whatever you think is right will be right. She loves you for you, or at least she should if she is going to marry you. So whatever way you decide to propse is and will be right. Trust your instincts.

Best of luck;)

Gatica

+1

definitely go with what you feel would work best for you.
Had friends who proposed on top of a mountain in S America, another on a jog together, another on a windy hill walk and mine was in our fab hotel suite that he arranged for our weekend away.
The luxury of it gave it away for me though, as he really went out for it. It was an amazing weekend. He proposed on Friday night with a beautiful necklace and that set the mood for us to enjoy for the rest of the weekend. If you want to surprise her though, you may need to tone it down LOL

Bid08

for me the proposal didnt matter - we have been together over 10 yrs and have a hse so it was not a suprise at all, we had been talking for a while about the time line and talking one night he just said 'why arent we engaged now?' so that was it
the most important thing for me was getting to pick out the ring myself, from the time we decided to get engaged till we actually got the ring was over 2 months
we told no one until we got the ring, then got all dressed up went for a really nice dinner and then went and told family

bp

My oh proposed while on holidays with a massive gang of us - I was totally taken by surprise as he kept going on about sure you don't need a piece of paper to make it official (to annoy me). I know he was terrified of the others finding out (e.g. hiding the box etc). He used a token ring so we could save up for a nicer one - and it was lovely.

I loved every second of it, and the 20 odd of us (nearest and dearest friends) were celebrating within about five minutes of the engagement....but that is me and I love being around friends so it worked! Now we were separate for the the proposal and then went back to the others.

ps he asked my dad (who was chuffed to know for a few days before the proposal) and I liked that he did, but my mother didn't - she says I am no one's property!! :-)

Good luck!

Chocoholic84

bp wrote: »

My oh proposed while on holidays with a massive gang of us - I was totally taken by surprise as he kept going on about sure you don't need a piece of paper to make it official (to annoy me).

Aww reminds me of the time in Friends with Chandler doing everything he could to throw Monica off the scent!!