Curious 35 year old

Dial Square

Hi guys, Just looking for some advice. I'm 35 and have been wondering about my sexuality a lot lately since the break up of a LTR with a woman. I dont know where to start as regards looking to have an experience with a man. I live close enough to Limerick so was thinking of checking out the sauna there some night. Has anyone been there and do you know if I'll stick out like a sore thumb there (is it full of young students or a mix??). Also do u think this is the best place to start?..I'm quite confused still and dont really want to lead someone on through internet dating etc...Please help..thanks

Intouch9

I never even knew there was a sauna in Limerick, but I don't think that it would be the best place for you to start, kind of like a baptism of fire really. If its only sex you're after, fair enough, but if you're unsure, my advice would be to get online and chat to like-minded people or possibly head to a gay bar, where there's no pressure to do anything... maybe I'm way off, but that's be my logic.

Dial Square

Thanks 'Intouch9'. I think if I go to a sauna and see whats going on first hand (so to speak ) I will know for sure if its for me. Can you recommend any websites where I could contact other people? I'm defo not ready for the gay bar thing yet.

Intouch9

Gaydar is probably the most popular - www.gaydar.ie
Can understand why you wouldn't be ready, I just think that a sauna would be too much to start with too.

Aurongroove

Sauna?

Missed that chapter in my "so you're gay" pamphlet.
Just wanted to say, recently out dude myself, Gay venues are not as scary as you think they are.
(I'd certainly take my chances there instead of a sauna)

floggg

I 'd agree, sauna wouldn't be the best place to go. I imagine it might be a bit full on for somebody inexperienced and nervous, and not the type of place where somebody would likely show too much patience for a first timer.

If you felt up to it, a gay bar might be an idea. You could just soak up the atmosphere, chat to a few people and proceed at your leisure. It might be a bit intimidating tho.

The Internet dating thing could be an idea though - sites like manhunt or gaydar would be a good place to look. There are lots of people looking for lots of things on there - some are looking for love, friendship or just sex.

As long as you are up front with people you won't lead them on. Make it clear on your profile what you want and proceed from there.

If you do go that route I'd recommend meeting the person for coffee or a pint first, so you don't feel pressured into anything and you can take it slow, and you can know what their like before following you home.

Dial Square

Thanks for the advice guys...seems the online dating route is most peoples choice as to where I should start so I might give it a go...

Intouch9

Keep us posted on how you get on.

Dial Square

Will do..thanks again

Aurongroove

also, not judging, but if you had more of a shag first, decide later approach. then for god sake be careful and use protection.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat, STDs did.