Dumped and confused

LegacyUser

My boyfriend of over 5 years recently broke up with me and moved out of the house we were sharing. I'm completely devastated, we were arguing a lot before hand but I never thought it would come to this, we were both under a lot of stress after moving in together due to other issues. He has a very stressful job but was never one for oversharing. He started to drink a lot in the last few months and constantly wanted to go out, I always felt like he just couldn't be in a room alone with me anymore which in turn made me very upset and I took it out on him. He left in the end without even saying goodbye. I arranged to meet up with him after 2 weeks of no contact. He said it was over but that he stilled loved and missed me, that I seemed better without him , so I said I couldn't handle it, that I still loved him so for my sanity I had to cut him out of my life. Now that I've had time to look at it from the outside I've realised he may have been suffering from some sort of depression, pointed out to me by a counsellor. I felt really bad like I had turned my back on him so I told his family I was concerned and they agreed they were worried about his drinking. He text me wishing me a happy birthday and a happy xmas. One nite I got drunk and sent him a very angry message, we text the whole next day, arguing but in which he implied he still loved me. And that was that till yesterday I found out he wants to go on a weekend away drinking with some mutual friends of ours, a trip he knows my best friend is going on and will report everything back. I text him about this as I asked him to stay out of my life (he only knew these people a month before we broke up, introduced by me) he replied saying he still wanted to be friends with me but I hated him. I text back and told him I didn't that I loved him and thats why I needed him out of my life. He didn't respond! I'm so confused and hurt. One part of me wants to move on but feel like I can't get over him no matter what I do then the other part is worried that he's depressed and I've abandoned him in a time of need or that he'll come to his senses soon and come back. Sorry for the long post but from the moment I met him I thought he was the one, I'm now so lost and feel like this is all some sort of childish mind game we're playing. Where do I go from here???? I just want him back.

LegacyUser

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. The main thing from this I dont understand is that he broke up with you, is not trying to get back with you, and you are trying to stop him going away with some people? Just because you have some mutual friends does not mean you can stop him getting on with his life. As much as its hard to hear you are both now single. If you dont want to hear what happens on the trip tell your friend you dont want the details. sorry if this is blunt and I can see you are devastated but you really need time to get over him and move on and he is making the effort to get out and do things, you should too, or else you will be dwelling on this and keep feeling like sh1t. You have told him how you feel. He didnt respond. So he knows where you're at, dont go waiting around for him to change his mind and come back. It sounds like he really needs space from the relationship, especially if you think he's depressed. If you are really worried about him just send a simple message saying you are there for him as a friend if he needs it, to take the pressure off him as far as the relationship and all the drama that is going with it entails.

BraziliaNZ

You didn't abandon him, he left you. It sounds like it has run it's course. He's not your responsibility so just cut him out of your life and move on. Stop contacting him. Don't talk to his family. People break up all the time it's not the end of the world.