Buying a second hand engagement ring......

idonthaveaclue

Story is, my good lady friend and I have often talked about getting married and all that jazz. Thing is, shes told me she does not want a 'new' engagement ring, something with a bit of history would be more suiting.

Now, i currently havent got a pot to pisss in nor a window to throw it out off so big bucks going down the local antique jewellery store isnt an option, checked this out and diamond rings start at 4k! She is aware of this and understands. I do however have about 800-1000 quid that i can spend on it. Thing is you can get feck all for that from retailers, however, there are ample amounts of decent rings (some antique looking) ranging from 0.6 - 1.0 carats for sale privately (donedeal, b&s, etc) and within my budget.

Ok, so alot of these rings are people looking to raise funds quickly or after failed relationships. Im not in any way superstitious and not overly materialistic, nor is my lady, however, i dont want to propose with a ring that she may ask where i got it from....."Yep, bought on the doorstep of some poor woman in Athlone crying her eyes out with 3 children and no husband!"

But i am a sucker for finding value in every situation and there are some great deals out there.

So, is it a total faux pa to buy a second hand ring for an engagement?

Also, if i go ahead with it, would a regular jeweler have it polished and appraised?

Thanks for reading folks.:)

tinkerbell

Personally, I would not want a second-hand engagement ring. It's a very personal thing and I don't like the idea of getting a ring which has a failed relationship attached to it!

Why don't you go down the vintage route instead from a jewellers rather than DoneDeal etc? Much more romantic in my opinion ... And you can get beautiful rings from any reputable jeweller for around €1k, €1k is loads to spend so you could get a new ring if she wanted.

idonthaveaclue

cheers for your response tinkerbell. As far as romantic goes, ill be buying the ring on my todd and all the romance will go into the proposal, which she wont have a clue about until it happens (personally, im not looking for a romantic day out for myself:D )

When you say vintage rings, what do you mean? sorry, ive concentrated my research on diamonds and am not overly savy with this kind of thing.

Acoshla

Vintage just means antique/second hand etc, lots of vintage jewellers popping up now as people have realised there's value to be had and that a lot of the older stuff is gorgeous.

The problem can be though that people don't like rings that came or may have come from an unhappy marriage, or came up for sale through bad circumstances as you mentioned. I was given the choice between my mother's engagement ring (parents split up when I was 6, should never have gotten together in the first place, so unhappy ring) or my grandmother's ring (married 25 happy years until she sadly died suddenly, they were very in love, happy ring!). I actually scoffed at the thoughts of having my mother's ring, I don't believe a marriage's success/happiness is related to a piece of jewellery but that ring held no happy memories for anyone, I wouldn't even want it near me. So I have my grandmother's ring, and it's lovely to know it was part of such a happy pairing.

So long story short, it's quite a personal decision, if your girlfriend says she is happy to have a vintage ring then start taking a look around such jewellers and buy it from an actual shop if possible, even if for the simple reason that that is where your memories of the ring will start, not like you said on a doorstep with someone possibly crying at you

Shivers26

I got my ring made (or rather OH got it made for me). Basically I had another ring with sentimental value and it had a little 0.2ct diamond in it. Took it to an acquaintance who is a jeweller and he traded the diamond for a bigger one and melted down the gold to make the band.
Now I have a 0.6ct diamond solitaire with an 18ct gold band and it cost €1400 to have made and would probably retail at €2500.

Maybe something like this could be an option for you?

Tombo2000

We bought last year; I didnt get the impression that antiques were any cheaper.

I did get the impression that there is a lot of fast talking involved with the engagement ring business; that the feckers embarass you into saying "yes they are lovely but our budget doesnt stretch to ten grand or even half of ten grand or half of half of ten grand".

Best advice I got:
There is obviously a lot of grading on diamonds with regard to colour and clarity.
There is a minimum grade where the flaws in clarity and colour are not visible to the naked eye; you can get higher quality grades where you can see flaws with a magnifying glass; but this is the cheapest grade where you can't spot a bit of dirt in the stone.....
We said to the ring shops, we want this grade, this shape, this size, whats the best ya can do for us......and got reasonable discounts.

Sleepy

eBay is your friend.

I was in the same situation as yourself and got a lovely art-deco 1920's ring for a fraction of it's valuation by an Irish jeweller.

Antiques are *FAR* cheaper because diamonds are artificially valuable: i.e. they're only valuable because the jeweller's say they are. Buy an engagement ring at retail and 5 minutes later you can't sell it for half what you've just paid.

Sleepy

BTW: you'll often find second hand rings that are for sale because the groom to be chose something his other half didn't like. No misery necessarily attached

boogaloop

Interesting thread, one which I'm rather interested in myself. Just started looking at rings, and like the OP, really want to feel like I'm getting value.
As for the unlucky/unhappy/bad memory of buying a second hand ring - well, get it blessed if you feel it will help. I would think myself that you make your own luck anyway!

Sleepy, where on ebay did you buy if you don't mind me asking? Maybe you could pm me the details?

Are there any good value vintage/antique shops in Dublin/Cork?

Sleepy

This was the guy I dealt with:
http://myworld.ebay.ie/captain6-antiquediamonds

Irish jeweller valued what we got at 6-9 times what I won the ring for at auction and, far more importantly, Mrs Sleepy to be loves it.

EveT

what about buying a second hand ring on donedeal or ebay or whatever and then bringing it to a jeweller and get it melted down and restyled? then youre kinda getting good value and something sort of new?!

Sleepy

You'd need to look into I think EveT, a lot of the value of a ring is in the craftsmanship used to make it.

EveT

oh I have my ring, was just suggesting it based on what someone said above! you see some lovely diamonds with certs etc on these sites in horrible looking settings.

idonthaveaclue

hello everyone. Didnt get a chance to respond last night. Thank you all for helpful discussion on the topic

@Sleepy - thank you very much for that ebay link, some beautiful rings there and i might just give that a go.

@Evet - Yes, i had the same idea...buy a ring for a song and have it re-styled in some way, get the jeweller to claim it as his 'creation' and bobs your uncle

@Boogallop - About making ones own luck, this i 100% agree with. A ring is a collaboration of metal and stone thats being in existence for millions of years. Im not superstitious enough to believe that bad situations of fate manifest themselves to live within inanimate objects. If one thinks this way, they leave themselves open to their own sub-conscience playing tricks on them!

norrie rugger

tinkerbell wrote: »

Why don't you go down the vintage route instead from a jewellers rather than DoneDeal etc? Much more romantic in my opinion ... And you can get beautiful rings from any reputable jeweller for around €1k, €1k is loads to spend so you could get a new ring if she wanted.

So you would rather one that was taken from a dead person??

idonthaveaclue

norrie rugger wrote: »

So you would rather one that was taken from a dead person??

They are dead, they dont care. I occasionally buy books and clothes from charity shops. They are sometimes from dead people. I look good and am well read and happy!

norrie rugger

idonthaveaclue wrote: »

They are dead, they dont care. I occasionally buy books and clothes from charity shops. They are sometimes from dead people. I look good and am well read and happy!

I am talknig about the "attachment" of the ring that the poster mentioned.
They would not like to have a ring from a failed relationship but are seemingly happy with one that was ripped from the recently dead, for monetary gain?

gb19815

Hi there just wondering did u get sorted with this ring?