Is it over :( ?

SineadMarie

Been seeing a guy for a year and a half, very rocky at the start he was scared of commitment etc. We finally got things sorted back in September and have been really happy up until now. Even said I love you. The past week hes been a bit weird but I asked him did he want to get anything of his chest and he assured me he was fine. So yesterday meant to spend the day together didn’t hear from him (was out the previous night with a pal) I was a bit pee’d off so I sent him a message basically saying “your obviously to busy forget about today”. No reply, I finally heard from him when I sent him msg saying “whats up”. He just said “nothing are you ok?” when I asked him what happened today he just said “don’t know” Sent back a few messages and tried calling him but no answer. At this stage I was so upset and I didn’t know what was wrong. I got a message saying he was in bad form and would talk to me tomorrow, when I asked were we splitting up I got no reply. What I want to know is am I just being paranoid or is this guy trying to dump me or is too chicken to do it. We’ve never fought and I thought we were getting on well so I’m so confused and upset

DOBBER112

SineadMarie wrote: »

Been seeing a guy for a year and a half, very rocky at the start he was scared of commitment etc. We finally got things sorted back in September and have been really happy up until now. Even said I love you. The past week hes been a bit weird but I asked him did he want to get anything of his chest and he assured me he was fine. So yesterday meant to spend the day together didn’t hear from him (was out the previous night with a pal) I was a bit pee’d off so I sent him a message basically saying “your obviously to busy forget about today”. No reply, I finally heard from him when I sent him msg saying “whats up”. He just said “nothing are you ok?” when I asked him what happened today he just said “don’t know” Sent back a few messages and tried calling him but no answer. At this stage I was so upset and I didn’t know what was wrong. I got a message saying he was in bad form and would talk to me tomorrow, when I asked were we splitting up I got no reply. What I want to know is am I just being paranoid or is this guy trying to dump me or is too chicken to do it. We’ve never fought and I thought we were getting on well so I’m so confused and upset

Sorry to hear of your man trouble SM, from your post I reckon this guy has no interest and is just too cowardly to level with you. Cut all contact and run if I was you as this guy will just continue to hurt you. Plenty more fish in the sea

SineadMarie

Wish it was that easy if he told me its over and gave me a reason then at least i'd know but this is just cruel and heartless

ButterflyABC

SineadMarie wrote: »

Been seeing a guy for a year and a half, very rocky at the start he was scared of commitment etc. We finally got things sorted back in September and have been really happy up until now. Even said I love you. The past week hes been a bit weird but I asked him did he want to get anything of his chest and he assured me he was fine. So yesterday meant to spend the day together didn’t hear from him (was out the previous night with a pal) I was a bit pee’d off so I sent him a message basically saying “your obviously to busy forget about today”. No reply, I finally heard from him when I sent him msg saying “whats up”. He just said “nothing are you ok?” when I asked him what happened today he just said “don’t know” Sent back a few messages and tried calling him but no answer. At this stage I was so upset and I didn’t know what was wrong. I got a message saying he was in bad form and would talk to me tomorrow, when I asked were we splitting up I got no reply. What I want to know is am I just being paranoid or is this guy trying to dump me or is too chicken to do it. We’ve never fought and I thought we were getting on well so I’m so confused and upset

Could he have something personal going on? Sounds like he might have something bothering him. Maybe wait until you speak to him and if he doesn't have a decent explanation run for the hills as he sounds like he will just wreck your head.

There are plenty more fish in the sea but it's hard to see that now.

I hope it all works out for you. Good luck.

SineadMarie

Thanks guys..havent heard anything still! I've sent another message just basically saying goodbye and that i deserve better. I truly thought what we had meant something and i'm in complete shock that hes done this.

Forever Hopeful

Hey Op,
Sorry that the guy you cared about turned out to be completely spineless. They are not all like that.
As hard as it may be, try and not waste your precious time and thoughts on someone like that. Remember, in the not so distant future, a guy could walk into your life who thinks you are his whole world. That's what you should focus on.

SineadMarie

Aw that's lovely thank you so much, its lovely to know that people like yourselves are here to reply to my thread and obviously care more for me than he ever did. I really did love him and i just feel so foolish for ever trusting him.

Missy Moo Moo

SineadMarie wrote: »

Aw that's lovely thank you so much, its lovely to know that people like yourselves are here to reply to my thread and obviously care more for me than he ever did. I really did love him and i just feel so foolish for ever trusting him.

Hi OP,

What a louser he is

For the record, you should never feel foolish for trusting someone, thinking the best of people is a good trait to have as being the opposite way inclined means you might shut out someone who is worthy of your trust. This is a reflection on him and he's the foolish one for throwing the trust back in your face.

Just be thankful you dodged a bullet from what is a spineless, cowardly jerk.

LovelyLottie

The best thing you can do is delete his number, delete him off fb etc. and try to accept in your head that this is his cowardly way of 'breaking up' with you. It hurts like hell, i know, but this is what is happening

If you cut contact, he might in a few weeks' time come crawling back. You need to decide how you'll react if he does. If he's treated you like this now, he doesn't really care the way you want him to. Give it a bit of time and you'll be ok again. Best of luck

IrishEyes19

SineadMarie wrote: »

Aw that's lovely thank you so much, its lovely to know that people like yourselves are here to reply to my thread and obviously care more for me than he ever did. I really did love him and i just feel so foolish for ever trusting him.

Hey OP, dont feel foolish, you're not alone in this situation at all. Same thing happened to me years ago, fell head over heels with my first bf, was all rosy at some stages, rocky in others, but really liked him. Long story short, he went all silent one week after christmas, a christmas in which I thought we were heading towards serious relationship....and when I asked him what was wrong, I got the (nothing im just in bad form sentences) week later, was dumped by txt, and to make matters worse, we were supposed to meet up and talk properly, so he suggested a break and I agreed even though a break seemed strange but I wanted to be with him so badly I was prepared to do everything on his terms and so I sat like an eegit for days waiting for a text he said he would send that week to meet up and see where we were going. but he chickened out at the end of the week and after I texted him to see what was happening, he made up some lie about not having time to meet up and dumped me by text. I was horrified to say the least and so angry at myself and what I could have done wrong. It never occured to me, that he was just spineless.

my point is, its a shock to your system now, but he's not worth your tears ect. also dont bother sending him anymore texts, it wont do you any good and the less emotional leverage you give this guy the better. its easier said than done. Its really hurtful when someone you cared about treats you like that, but dont take it personally, ironically, it sounds like to me, he was too afraid to say it face to face and took the easy way out. its really disrepectful and you deserve someone who is honest from the moment you meet them. And you will meet someone like that, you'll probably kiss a lot of frogs before that, but take every bad dating experience as a good lesson. By the time the one does come around, you'll know when it feels right and when it simply doesnt. best of luck and pamper yourself now this week and take care of number one

SineadMarie

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Hey OP, dont feel foolish, you're not alone in this situation at all. Same thing happened to me years ago, fell head over heels with my first bf, was all rosy at some stages, rocky in others, but really liked him. Long story short, he went all silent one week after christmas, a christmas in which I thought we were heading towards serious relationship....and when I asked him what was wrong, I got the (nothing im just in bad form sentences) week later, was dumped by txt, and to make matters worse, we were supposed to meet up and talk properly, so he suggested a break and I agreed even though a break seemed strange but I wanted to be with him so badly I was prepared to do everything on his terms and so I sat like an eegit for days waiting for a text he said he would send that week to meet up and see where we were going. but he chickened out at the end of the week and after I texted him to see what was happening, he made up some lie about not having time to meet up and dumped me by text. I was horrified to say the least and so angry at myself and what I could have done wrong. It never occured to me, that he was just spineless.

my point is, its a shock to your system now, but he's not worth your tears ect. also dont bother sending him anymore texts, it wont do you any good and the less emotional leverage you give this guy the better. its easier said than done. Its really hurtful when someone you cared about treats you like that, but dont take it personally, ironically, it sounds like to me, he was too afraid to say it face to face and took the easy way out. its really disrepectful and you deserve someone who is honest from the moment you meet them. And you will meet someone like that, you'll probably kiss a lot of frogs before that, but take every bad dating experience as a good lesson. By the time the one does come around, you'll know when it feels right and when it simply doesnt. best of luck and pamper yourself now this week and take care of number one

Thanks again for all your lovely words i really appreciate it. Just letting you all know what happened i couldnt cope with not knowing being ignored so in order to get a response i threatened to call over so he would have no choice to talk. Anyway it worked, i got a "I'm sorry Sinead i cant be in a relationship" I do feel a bit better getting an answer even if it was forced out of him, but to say i'm utterly devastated in an understatement. He even tried the whole i wasn't using you you know how i feel about you but i just cant be in a relationship. To which i replied that if he felt anything for me he would of told me the truth face to face. So thats it! Least i can heal now. Will be hard and i havent stopped crying, i also threw up this morning i was so upset. Anyway thanks again means a lot that you all took the time to read and reply.xx

msg11

SineadMarie wrote: »

Thanks again for all your lovely words i really appreciate it. Just letting you all know what happened i couldnt cope with not knowing being ignored so in order to get a response i threatened to call over so he would have no choice to talk. Anyway it worked, i got a "I'm sorry Sinead i cant be in a relationship" I do feel a bit better getting an answer even if it was forced out of him, but to say i'm utterly devastated in an understatement. He even tried the whole i wasn't using you you know how i feel about you but i just cant be in a relationship. To which i replied that if he felt anything for me he would of told me the truth face to face. So thats it! Least i can heal now. Will be hard and i havent stopped crying, i also threw up this morning i was so upset. Anyway thanks again means a lot that you all took the time to read and reply.xx

Keep the head up, don't let this drag you down anymore. Your at the bottom now, start making your way back up too the top. Sad to hear all the messing around, but as others have said it's better you got rid of this guy as he is obviously just acting the Micheal in the relationship. You'll find someone and look back at this and wonder why you even thought twice about it, it's actually how I feel at the moment I got messed around and I have a wonderful girlfriend now. I cringe everytime I think of it.