No contact - feeling rotten

LegacyUser

Feeling really rotten about this, confused and upset and I dont seem to be able to move on, and I dont understandy why as Ive had had to deal with alot more awful things in my life and pick myself up and move forward. But this has me stumped.

Am 27. Met a guy. Had a few dates. Really liked him. He was interested, then he wasnt but I would hear from him every so often (just polite things). From reading other peoples similar situations on here, I stopped contacting him about 2 weeks ago as I felt this isnt what I wanted (as Ive read in other posts "crumbs" arent good enough). I felt fine for the last few weeks about it. Was clear in my head what I needed to do for myself, but now am full of self doubt that I didnt try hard enough. Also I've held onto some hope that he would be back in contact, but of course, he hasnt. Its like its only hitting me now.

Am keeping strong in not contacting him, but I cant get rid of this "hope". I have my own life (friends/activities/job) and it keeps me busy, but even when am out or doing something, I end up thinking about him/this. Not sure what is going on in my noggin. Is it simply a time/hope thing? As in in time all this will fade? Ive been in a few relationships in my time (one for 5 years) so I know what its like to cut contact with someone. I actually feel/felt quite strongly for him-something I havent experienced before at the start of a relationship and it felt right, but obviously not for him and I have to respect that. Has anyone felt like this or understand my situation?

Missy Moo Moo

Hi OP,

When you say you cut contact, does that mean that you didn't reply to his last attempt at getting in touch? Or does it mean that you were always initiating the contact and then just stopped initiating the contact?

Sorry, I just need to ask to understand the situation better.

LegacyUser

He didnt seem ready for a relationship and I wasnt going to force it. Last contact was initiate by him. I replied nice and polite and havent heard a word since. I know actions speak louder than words. I kind of stopped trying, but never stopped hoping. It is time to stop hoping now, but how to get rid of it, I dont know. I continue to live my life, but with this hope that just wont go away! Its like its unfinished, but I darent contact him as there doesnt seem to be any point if someone doesnt like you like that.

Missy Moo Moo

Well I hate to say it OP but keep doing what you're doing, that is not contacting him. If he's interested, he might come back once he's had space. If he doesn't, then there's your answer. I know it's hard but try not to wait around for him. Trust that whatevers meant to be, will be. Surround yourself with good friends and do fun things. It will get easier, promise.

blatantrereg

Maybe he just isnt sure what he wants. If he was too quick to contact you it could be misleading. He might be quite happy to keep meeting you and open to seeing how things go. I think you are thinking too much in black and white.

LegacyUser

I think it is past him figuring out what he wants at this stage. And its a pity because we got on well. There is no interest from him and I will accept that. Cant keep hoping because it is messing with my head. Need to move on. Have been having fun and all that as per usual (some would say I've a great, carefree life!), but it just doesnt seem all that fun when the person I like isnt in my life. I never had this reaction to someone like this before and its confusing me. How do you get hope out of your head/heart?

blatantrereg

Why? You said you've only been on a few dates. What's the rush? Did you even know each other well before dating? You seem frustrated and impatient and have expectations of someone who has been seeing someone for a good bit longer than you seem to have been.

Might you possibly be on the rebound? When did you split with your last bf?

LegacyUser

No its not a rebound. My last relationship was about 2 years ago. I wanted to be on my own for a while and have fun-which I had or have been doing. Maybe I am being impatient because I havent felt like this in a while, but I feel I need to start moving on with things and away from feeling like this, because he is not interested. I know he is not, otherwise he would show it and there is no point in hoping that he will be.

I have met other guys over this period of time, but this guy, for whatever reason felt right, and it almost feels wrong to stop hoping something will come of it, but its wrecking my head. Hold on in there versus getting over it. Getting over it seems the easiest thing to do, or I thought it was, but it is not working out as I had thought.