Already over?

pAdidas

Hi all,

Just wanted to see if anyone has ever been in this situation before... I've been seeing a girl from Tipperary for over a year and half, we've always been very happy together, but the distance was always a bit of an issue (I live in Dublin)

Very recently at her best friends boyfriends birthday party (I missed the night as I had something on) she made a mistake.... Her ex is the boyfriends cousin and was out that night with her, she got extremely drunk and he was flirting like mad with her, she ended up sleeping in the same bed with him (nothing happened though, I believe her when she says that) They talked and she realised she missed him a lot, she never told me this until recently when I saw she had posted up about it and how confused she was about the whole thing on her deviantart page.... I was hurt by the way I found out.... I always said that if I was ever 'in doubt' with a girls faithfulness to me, I'd instantly leave her and never look back.

We talked about it all, and she apologised sincerely and I could tell it was eating her up inside. I just wish she had told me what was wrong in the first place.

She was on my laptop last week and left her email account logged in, I per chance saw an email she sent to an agony aunt around the time, in it she said that they had a cuddle and a small kiss and wasnt sure whether or not she should tell me... she didnt mention that to me....

I'm so confused as to whether I can believe her or not anymore, i'm naturally suspicious as it is, and all of this didnt help.

I could approach her about it again, but I'm not sure what would happen if I did bring it up again!?

Has anyone ever been in this situation before? I believe she's sincere and she was really broken up about it....

Any advice? Really just down about it all at the minute, no one I can really talk to about it really.

thanks.
P

Oryx

This girl sounds like she can't make up her mind, and your stuck till she does. You dont say if you guys are 'back to normal' or not. If it was me in your situation, I would take some space from her. Let her figure her head out without leaving you dangling. Being without you might make her understand whether she really wants to be with you or not.

pAdidas

Oryx wrote: »

This girl sounds like she can't make up her mind, and your stuck till she does. You dont say if you guys are 'back to normal' or not. If it was me in your situation, I would take some space from her. Let her figure her head out without leaving you dangling. Being without you might make her understand whether she really wants to be with you or not.

We kinda are back to normal again, and we have been happy for the last while, that email I read though, just brought it all back for me, and made me have bad thoughts again...

She says she wants to be with me, and she really took it hard on herself, she kept saying how I 'deserve much better than her' and how she 'hates herself'. I think it will just take me some time to build myself back up again, as my ex cheated on me with a guy on a hockey trip years ago, almost the exact same situation where they slept in the same bed and she was over the top drunk, and they kissed... I just can't believe the same thing has happened to me twice!

I can't stop thinking that theres something wrong with me...

Wester

pAdidas wrote: »

I can't stop thinking that theres something wrong with me...

I'd never try to offer advice on what you're going through, as I'm no good at that stuff, but you need to understand that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. These things that have happened have been the responsibility of others - it is their fault - and despite what a lot of people might say, drink really does make some folks do things they otherwise mighn't do by lowering their inhibitions. Whatever happens in the future, hold your head high. The fact that you're willing to stick by your girlfriend right now shows you have qualities, like integrity and faithfulness, that people admire in life. Best of luck!

pAdidas

Wester wrote: »

I'd never try to offer advice on what you're going through, as I'm no good at that stuff, but you need to understand that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. These things that have happened have been the responsibility of others - it is their fault - and despite what a lot of people might say, drink really does make some folks do things they otherwise mighn't do by lowering their inhibitions. Whatever happens in the future, hold your head high. The fact that you're willing to stick by your girlfriend right now shows you have qualities, like integrity and faithfulness, that people admire in life. Best of luck!

Thank you so much for your kind words... I've often been told I can be too nice for my own good, but never how my position in this shows me to others.

I just wish it never happened as I find it hard to trust, especially when she lives almost two hours drive away... I'm angry as well at the guy who's birthday it was, her best friends boyfriend, he just stood by and did nothing and apparently made some jokes about her and her ex getting back together....

I think it showed he isnt on my side? Does anyone agree with me on that? surely he could have at least said something?