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loneliness

  • 21-01-2012 1:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm not necessarily looking for advice but I'd appreciate any comments, thanks.

    I'm feeling very low about relationsihps in my life at the moment, and about myself I suppose. I have a good few friends and family but over the past few years a number of things happened in my personal and family life that really shook me at the time.

    All recovering now but at times I still find it hard not to get sidelined by the emotions associated and worry or stress about these things which are really for all purposes now in the past.

    I never felt I could discuss any of these difficult situations with friends or others in my life and I'm worried that I've started to adopt an unhelpful style of dealing with my problems. I would like feel freer to discuss my feelings/life with people but for good reasons (to me anyway) I lean towards non-disclosure. The fallout of this is that I feel very lonely at times and often feel isolated. I DONT NEED to talk about these things with people or want to but I miss the sense of connection that sharing imporatant stories or experiences in your life can give. Experiences are usually only good to share if they're good experiences. Just feeling low at the moment. I am single and would like meet someone, but for the last long time I dont feel much motivation to start up new acquaintances/relationships, particularly in a club/pub type situation where I often feel the whole meeting thing is drink fuelled shallowness. I suppose my level of faith and hope for something worthwhile out of this type of situation is low and I dont want to waste my time with stupid banter. I am upbeat in my life for the most part despite feeling this way but it is affecting me and I feel I need to take control of it now.

    I realise how little I put myself out there and this is probably a reason I am single, aswell as the fact that i find it hard to feel attracted to strangers, even though I might be aware that somebody is attractive I wouldnt feel very much typically. Its so frustrating! Maybe I'm not in the right place for a relationship but I seem to be stuck here

    I'm 29 now and a working professional, and I suppose when I think of my age approaching 30s I feel pressure to move on with my life but Im just finding that the excitement and joy I would have been able to find for new things in the past is harder and harder to come by at the moment. I probably sound like a moan here. Trying to describe how I feel, and maybe through that I will make some headway out of it
    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    nowyouresix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 201 ✭✭nowyouresix


    Hey there, for one I think you're perfectly normal. I reckon we all go through phases of feeling the way you do now.
    Have you tried joining any clubs or societies? What, apart from your work are you interested in?
    Sometimes we can be surrounded by people and still feel totally lonely. Do you think that maybe a few sessions with a counsellor would help?
    The best way to meet new people and possibly a partner is through activities you enjoy....or you could always try online dating !!
    Hope this helps and good luck !!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks nowyoursix, it's good to hear that it's nothing out of the norm. although I know this it's nice to hear it said. I think I do need to balance my life better with outside of work activities and things I'm interested where I might meet people I can really click with. That's definitely an issue and not something I have done too much about yet so I think I will start here. The idea of online dating doesn't appeal to me although wouldn't say never. I need to start taking a few risks and trying new things / stop making excuses to stay the same ... thanks your post has clarified that for me. I have started seeing a therapist now to pick up on things. Finding it difficult at the moment becuause I find theres a certain amount of just get up and go regardless that I can do and it often allows me to keep going and distract myself (making things easier in the short term) ... but keeping things the same long term (like as I described above). I have a bit of new energy for it now so going to keep working..

    Thanks for your post.


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