Don't want to breastfeed

LegacyUser

I havent had any children yet, but I am in a long-term relationship and we both wants kids in the future. There is one disagreement though. I dont want to breastfeed whereas my OH thinks i should.

Im sure my reasons will sounds stupid/selfish to most people, but its just how i feel. The idea of it just seems strange and unnatural (though i know logically this is what breasts were intended for). Also, im terrified of hospitals, doctors, nurses, needles...all things medical, so while im looking forward to having a baby, im not looking forward to the pregnancy and everything that comes with it. It terrifies me truth be told. After going through that, when the baby is born, i just want to be free of stressing about things like that and not worrying about trying to get the baby to breastfeed and having sore, cracked nipples etc... I guess i just want to let my body return to normal and have it back to myself (i dont mean this to sound selfish, its just how i feel).

My OH doesnt understand. He argues that breastfeeding is healthier for the baby and i know that this is supported by doctors, midwives. Ive tried tell myself that I should do it, but I really just prefer not to.

As a result, i just feel like im going to be under more pressure from other people. We were with his brother and it came up in conversation as his brothers friend had had a baby and his brother too expressed shock that i didnt like the idea of it. This kind of worries me - I dont want to have other people pressuring me to do something with my body that i dont want to do.

Am i being selfish? What do other people think of this?

Forever Hopeful

OP,
Do you suffer from stress in other areas of your life or just with regard to medical situations? Are you squeamish? The reason I ask is that I am incredibly squeamish and often thought I wouldn't be able for all the 'stuff' (for want of a better word) that goes with having a baby and that is understandable.
However, when it comes to having a baby, you cannot predict these things. Some women have an easy time, some women don't. Some women breast feed, some women don't. Latter is personal choice, former isn't.
When the time comes that you are lucky enough to get pregnant, you can discuss these options with your partner. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Their opinions do NOT matter and stop letting these conversations get under your skin.
You will hear all sorts of stories, good and bad about all this but you are going to have to filter stuff out.
Its perfectly natural to feel nervous about these things but once you decide to have a baby, they come first no matter what. An example of that could be, you could end up feeding your baby both breast milk (bumping) and a mix of formula because your baby is so hungry, breast milk isn't enough. It happens a lot.
When the time comes, take one day at a time.... thinking too far ahead and worrying about things that may never happen, its the fastest way to unhappiness.

The Lovely Muffin

Do what feel's right for you OP.

It's your body and your breasts and if you don't want to breastfeed then you shouldn't breastfeed.

Your partner should be more understanding and shouldn't be trying to force you to do something which you don't want.

As for others opinions, I'd tell them to butt out and mind their own, but then I can be very blunt and won't tolerate anyone telling me I should/have to do something.

It's all well and good to give information, tips, tell of personal experiences etc, but when you are putting someone under pressure is when the line is crossed, in my opinion.

blue skye

Listen, you really don't know how your gonna feel when you've had a baby - natural instint kick's in & you may want to! Now I'm a mother of 2 kid's & never breast fed my babies coz of medical reason's but if you can AND want to try it OR not it's completly up to you!!!! It's your body & you can do what feel's right for you!!!

qwertytlk

Do not let anyone pressure you into somethng you arent comfortable with. Ok so breastfeeding is bettter in some ways for the child, i.e it can boost childs immune systme, help dewvelopment etc but at the end of the day there wouldnt be such thing as formula milk and bottles if it wasnt a safe and healthy option for the baby. The best advice i can give you is next time someone apart from your oh brings this up and starts acting shocked and horrified just nip it in the bud immeadiatley, tell them its none of their bussiness and its not something your willing to discuss. If your worried you will be judged by hoospital staff, midvives and doctors, well in my experience they didnt pressure or judge me at all for not breastfeeding. When i was pregnant i was against the idea, they asked me did i want to do it, i said no. They just said ok and gave me an info book on b.f and left it at that.
Your oh shouldnt be pressuring you either. Its your body, youe choice.
As for being worried about pregnancy and hospital visits, well as long as your pregnancy has no complications you shouldnt find the hospital vists terribly invasive. They usually just take one blood test at the beginning, then after that you will reguraly have your blood pressure checked, hav to give urine samples and they will just feel your belly to check on baby and its heartbeat. The birth is a bit different but honestly you will be fine. When your there in the situation its not at all like youve built it up to be, everyone is really nice, kind and supportive and all you will carew about is your baby...you probably wont notice or take heed of half the struff going on around you so please try your best not to worry about all the stuff as you are just causing yourself unecessary stress.
Good luck woith everything.
(sorry about spelling mistakes etc, am using internet on my mobile)

Chinafoot

Like yourself OP, I don't have kids yet and I have no intention to breastfeed. I've heard all the arguments about anti-bodies/bonding etc and thats all well and good but it isn't something I want to do. I don't want to be held hostage (for want of a better phrase) for feeds and I also want my partner to be able to participate in feeding without my having to use a breast pump.

Stand your ground on this if it something you aren't comfortable with. It is your body and he needs to respect that you don't want to breastfeed. You are not going to make your child sick by bottlefeeding him/her.

Ickle Magoo

TBH OP I think it's one of the most pointless things to get hung up on what you will or won't do before you actually know how and why you'll feel the way you do at the time.

I've known people who were adamant they wouldn't breast-feed go on to breast-feed for years as well as those who were vocally adamant they would do nothing else go on to do the complete opposite.

I'd say never say never OP - wait and see. Unless you have some kind of phobia then really, you'll never know how you'll feel when "if" becomes "will" and it seems a complete waste of energy to insist you'll do X or Y before you know that is actually going to be the case.

A bigger issue is your partners refusal to accept your POV - which an issue regardless of what happens down the line.

All the best. :cool:

Miss Fluff

I'm actually sickened be the 'Breastapo' in this country and the way they bully new Mums literally hours after birth.I don't think breastfeeding is for me either but can't say for certain until me and Mr.Fluff have bubbas, it's not set in stone.See how you feel when it's a reality rather than arguing over a hypothetical situation....
.

jimmycrackcorm

My mother always makes the point that she raised 9 of us on normal bottles and we all turned out all right. Can't argue with that!

Fittle

I'm a mum OP and I felt exactly the same as you when I was pregnant and that feeling stayed with me when my son was born! The hospital tried to 'gently encourage' me to breastfeed him, but there was no way I would even attempt it - like you, it just didn't feel normal to me.
He survived perfectly well on 'formula' and is now a very healthy 9yr old.
I wouldn't worry about it too much OP - as someone else said, when you have a child, you might feel different - but if you don't feel different, that's ok too.

LegacyUser

Personally I think it's extremely selfish not to breastfeed. Many women aren't able to and that is sad and difficult for them but you need to think of your baby's needs not you own. Not only does your baby need the immunities but they need tr physical connection and closeness to their mothers. Many women claim that breastfeeding enables them to get their body back in shape. The women I know that haven't been able to have been very distressed by it understandably. To chose not to is something I can't understand. You're denying your child essential nutrients and bonding, going against what is physically normal for you body to want to do post delivery and also putting unnecessary expense on yourself.

The Lovely Muffin

unregistered wrote: »

Personally I think it's extremely selfish not to breastfeed. Many women aren't able to and that is sad and difficult for them but you need to think of your baby's needs not you own. Not only does your baby need the immunities but they need tr physical connection and closeness to their mothers. Many women claim that breastfeeding enables them to get their body back in shape. The women I know that haven't been able to have been very distressed by it understandably. To chose not to is something I can't understand. You're denying your child essential nutrients and bonding, going against what is physically normal for you body to want to do post delivery and also putting unnecessary expense on yourself.

There is absolutely NOTHING selfish whatsoever with not wanting to breastfeed.

Just because many women cannot breastfeed, even though they want to, should not be used a weapon against women who don't want to breastfeed, but are able to.

As pointed out, many babies have been bottle fed (whether it be expressed breast milk or formula etc) and have turned out fine. A baby can still be close to their mother without being breast fed.

Oryx

OP, I felt the same as you. Id had a traumatic breast surgery and never wanted to breastfeed, partly because of that but also because I was instinctively uncomfortable with it. I was repeatedly asked would I breastfeed all through my pregnancy by the medical staff I attended. I had it put in my records and still it was commented on. But as long as you are sure in your own mind, then it wont be an issue.

Contrary to what someone else said, on my first baby, I did feel completely ignored and left to fend for myself as I was not breastfeeding. My child had severe reflux which went undiagnosed, I think partly because noone paid attention to how I was getting on during those first days, and I knew no better. So please, insist on getting the help you need. As with everything else you do, this is your decision, based on you situation, and noone else should put themselves in a position to judge you on that. You do your best for your kids, like any mother. Not breastfeeding does not constitute neglect. For me, it was simply a step too far, something I couldnt do, whether from trauma or something else, Im still not 100% sure.

Chinafoot

unregistered wrote: »

Personally I think it's extremely selfish not to breastfeed.

It's really not. In fact it could be argued that solely breastfeeding excludes the father from bonding with their child during feeding.

unregistered wrote: »

Many women aren't able to and that is sad and difficult for them

And? How is that relevant to the OP?

unregistered wrote: »

but you need to think of your baby's needs not you own. Not only does your baby need the immunities but they need tr physical connection and closeness to their mothers.

You appear to be taking the stance that anything other than breastmilk is unhealthy for a baby. This is complete rubbish. Plenty of babies have been raised on formula with absolutely no hamr coming to them. As for the physical connection...you're kidding yourself if you think breastfeeding is the only way to achieve bonding. Your use of hte word "need" and the entire tone of your post is bordering on the hysterical.

unregistered wrote: »

Many women claim that breastfeeding enables them to get their body back in shape.

So will diet and excercise.

unregistered wrote: »

The women I know that haven't been able to have been very distressed by it understandably. To chose not to is something I can't understand.

Again, relevance? You can't possibly be saying that because some women want to breastfeed and can't, all women should breastfeed. That would be pretty ridiculous.

unregistered wrote: »

You're denying your child essential nutrients and bonding,

More hysterical nonsense :rolleyes:

unregistered wrote: »

going against what is physically normal for you body to want to do post delivery

Oh please, as human beings we go against what our bodies were designed to do on a daily basis.

unregistered wrote: »

and also putting unnecessary expense on yourself.

This is rather presumptuous of you. You have absolutely no idea of the OPs financial situation.

OP, this is unfortunately the type of over the top, self-righteous nonsense that you may be faced with if you choose not to breastfeed. At the end of the day though, do what is right for you. Your baby is not going to suffer because you choose to use formula and I wouldn't even worry about it until the time actually comes.

As I said before, your partner needs to try to see things from your perspective. He should try to understand what a toll breastfeeding can take on a new mother too - it's not exactly a piece of cake. As other posters have said, worry about it when the time comes, but don't be brow-beaten into it by either your partner or the 'Breastapo' (love that, Miss Fluff!)

KittyeeTrix

The Lovely Muffin wrote: »

Do what feel's right for you OP.
Your partner should be more understanding and shouldn't be trying to force you to do something which you don't want.

Breastfeeding is a difficult thing for some women to do and I'd imagine it is even more difficult to do especially if your heart is not really in it OP

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

A bigger issue is your partners refusal to accept your POV - which an issue regardless of what happens down the line.

I feel the same as Ickle Magoo, I'm a little dismayed that your partner would be having such definite views on it to the point that you are considering breastfeeding when you have clearly stated that you don't want to!

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

My mother always makes the point that she raised 9 of us on normal bottles and we all turned out all right. Can't argue with that!

Excactly jimmycrackcorm..........I raised one on breastmilk from a bottle and the other 3 purely on infant formula. All have grown up to be fine strapping intelligent children with no emotional abandonment issues whatsoever.....Good lord, if I was any closer to them they'd be back in the womb so to speak:)

The Lovely Muffin wrote: »

There is absolutely NOTHING selfish whatsoever with not wanting to breastfeed.

As pointed out, many babies have been bottle fed (whether it be expressed breast milk or formula etc) and have turned out fine. A baby can still be close to their mother without being breast fed.

This is your take home message OP.
Tell your partner that you'll make the decision when the time comes based on what feels best to you!

LegacyUser

Don't breastfeed if you don't want to.

Don't listen to anyone else's opinions on it. I am 100% for breastfeeding, as is my wife, but we've learned to keep quiet about it, else be labelled a "breastfeeding nazi" or "breastapo" blah blah blah.

By the way, we get just as many people telling us not to breastfeed our boy and why we're mad etc. The bullying works both ways.

Our baby is superbly healthy and happy, that's all that matters to us. He's all that matters to us.

Sleepy

OP, one thing to remember is that bottle-fed babies tend to suffer far more from allergies than breast-fed children so you may end up suffering for the decision in other ways, or your child may.

TBH, with the other effects of childbirth on your body and the lack of sleep you'll suffer with a newborn, sore nipples will be the least of your concerns.

Sleepy

The Lovely Muffin wrote: »

There is absolutely NOTHING selfish whatsoever with not wanting to breastfeed.

It's placing your comfort and/or body image ahead of the health of your new-born child. While you may not see that as selfish, many others will and others would see it as a sign of someone not prepared to make the necessary sacrifices to be a good parent.

Chinafoot

Sleepy wrote: »

It's placing your comfort and/or body image ahead of the health of your new-born child. While you may not see that as selfish, many others will and others would see it as a sign of someone not prepared to make the necessary sacrifices to be a good parent.

That is extremely offensive. Choosing not to breastfeed does not make you a bad parent nor does it make you selfish. You are not hurting your child by not breastfeeding. Jesus, people here are going on as if not breastfeeding is on a par with smoking/drinking while pregnant.

There are other options out there and there are plenty of perfectly healthy human beings walking this earth that were not breastfed. Nobody should be made out to be some sort of neglectful monster because they don't want to breastfeed.

Ickle Magoo

Folks, there are other far more suitable forums for the well trodden breast Vs bottle debate.

Can we stick to giving civil, mature & constructive advice to the OP on the issue they actually posted on rather than debating something else.

Any more flaming will result in infractions/bans.

Cheers

KittyeeTrix

Sleepy wrote: »

OP, one thing to remember is that bottle-fed babies tend to suffer far more from allergies than breast-fed children so you may end up suffering for the decision in other ways, or your child may.

OP, all I can relay to you is my own experience which I have posted about here in the parenting forum in another thread with regards to breastfeeding.
I gave one of my children breastmilk which I expressed and fed to him via a bottle. Of the 4 children I had he was the only one ever to have childhood allergies which he thankfully has grown out of now that he is a teenager.
Whilst I'm not saying the breastmilk gave him allergies it at the same time did not prevent him for having allergies.

TBH, with the other effects of childbirth on your body and the lack of sleep you'll suffer with a newborn, sore nipples will be the least of your concerns.

While sore nipples may not be on the top of the OP's concerns following childbirth they most certainly are one thing she can do without if she chooses to:)

embee

The decision to breastfeed (or not) should be a decision that is both beneficial to mum and baby. If the woman does not want to, putting pressure on her to do it is almost certainly not going to change her mind. A stressed out mum is not good for a baby, and if breastfeeding is going to cause prolonged stress to the mum, it isn't worth it. Everyone knows that breastmilk is best for baby, but what if baby taking breastmilk is having a profound emotional and psychological impact on the mum? Does she just have to suck it up and feel terrible for perhaps 2 years (as the WHO recommends) for the sake of antibodies?

Dads have opinions on it and that is absolutely valid, but at the end of the day, the impact is on the womans body and wellbeing, and ultimately it is her decision. Pressurising someone into breastfeeding a baby that is a mere concept and not even in utero yet is a bit much, to be honest. You don't know how you'll feel until you're in that situation.

kylith

My SiL didn't breastfeed her fist two kids, but did with the second two and she says that she's happy she tried it. She even donated her extra milk to babies whose mothers couldn't breastfeed.

Try thinking of it this way, OP; breastfeeding is not only the healthiest option, it makes financial sense too. Formula costs money. Sterilisers cost money. Bottles cost money. However your body makes everything that your baby needs completely free of charge, you can't forget to bring it with you, and you never have to sterilise a bottle.

Have you thought about expressing milk? You can buy breast pumps which you just put on, the milk comes out, and you can then put it in a bottle; that way you wouldn't have the uncomfortable feeling, you'd save a few quid on formula, and the baby still gets the premium milk.

Sittingpretty

Oh God. Can open. Worms, everywhere.

Chinafoot

kylith wrote: »

My SiL didn't breastfeed her fist two kids, but did with the second two and she says that she's happy she tried it. She even donated her extra milk to babies whose mothers couldn't breastfeed.

Try thinking of it this way, OP; breastfeeding is not only the healthiest option, it makes financial sense too. Formula costs money. Sterilisers cost money. Bottles cost money. However your body makes everything that your baby needs completely free of charge, you can't forget to bring it with you, and you never have to sterilise a bottle.

And on the flip side, theres the discomfort, the fact that her body needs to be available all the time, the fact that her baby's father will have no role in the feeding....

kylith wrote: »

Have you thought about expressing milk? You can buy breast pumps which you just put on, the milk comes out, and you can then put it in a bottle; that way you wouldn't have the uncomfortable feeling, you'd save a few quid on formula, and the baby still gets the premium milk.

She'd still have to get the milk out. The pro-breastfeeding lobby really make it sound so simple. :rolleyes:

As has already been said, this isn't a debate on breast Vs bottle and it also shouldn't be the place for people to try to convince the OP that she's wrong and doing a disservice to her hypothetical children. The problem seems to be that her partner disagrees with her current position on the issue. At the end of the day, the decision lies with her as it is her body that we're talking about.

LegacyUser

Chinafoot wrote: »

And on the flip side, theres the discomfort, the fact that her body needs to be available all the time, the fact that her baby's father will have no role in the feeding....


.

For the record, if a mother expresses her milk and/or supplements feeding with formula, (my SiL did the latter) then the father, (or in my case, aunt) can have a very active role in the feeding.

Taltos

Hi Sittingpretty

If you have not aready done so please review our Charter.

Specifically the following sections:
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In light of the previous moderator warning on this thread we are now issuing you with an infraction.

Taltos

When i was had my son 13 years ago i was a terrified single mam, just turned 19. It was hard enough having to face the ordeal of bringing a child into the world alone because the dad "wasnt ready", so i didnt need the pressure i received from the nurses in the hospital, treating me like crap because i wanted to bottle feed. There was one nurse in particular who was so hostile toward my decision, but i stuck it out and continued to bottlefeed.

Looking back i am annoyed with myself for letting them treat me like that. I am now 32 and married to the best man in the world, and if we are lucky enough to have another baby - will i breastfeed? hell no - there i said it. Its my body and i choose not to, which does not mean that i will love and cherish the baby any less, or make me less of a parent, and i dont give two hoots what anyone will think.

By the way, my son was a strapping healthy baby, touch wood, he was never sick and he doesnt have allergies. OP, do whats right for you - whether you stick to your guns or change your mind when the time comes , its your decision and yours alone.

Walls

Myself and Himself would argue over the daftest things; where the kids would go in terms of education, etc, while we were still dating. It got to the point that we/I banned all such discussion until we were at least engaged. Anything else was just projection.

I would suggest holding off on discussion until you have a confirmed pregnancy, because so many things can and will happen before you are faced with this decision to make.

kylith

Chinafoot wrote: »

And on the flip side, theres the discomfort, the fact that her body needs to be available all the time, the fact that her baby's father will have no role in the feeding....

Like she wouldn't need to be available to the baby all the time anyway? And if she expresses the milk the father can have an active role in feeding.

Chinafoot wrote: »

She'd still have to get the milk out. The pro-breastfeeding lobby really make it sound so simple. :rolleyes:

That can be done in her own time in the comfort of her own home, where she can feel comfortable and private. I'm just trying to offer a compromise.

Chinafoot wrote: »

As has already been said, this isn't a debate on breast Vs bottle and it also shouldn't be the place for people to try to convince the OP that she's wrong and doing a disservice to her hypothetical children. The problem seems to be that her partner disagrees with her current position on the issue. At the end of the day, the decision lies with her as it is her body that we're talking about.

Yes, it is her body, and if she wants to use formula then I wouldn't have one word said against her.

Unfortunately there are militants on both sides of the equation. One of my SiLs was bullied out of breastfeeding by members of her family who thought it was 'disgusting', told her she'd 'never make enough milk', 'it's painful/degrading/you'll be like a milk cow', until she caved into them.

Ultimately it's a woman's decision to make, but I think all sides of the arguement should be examined before a decision is reached.

Chinafoot

kylith wrote: »

Like she wouldn't need to be available to the baby all the time anyway?

If she is not relying on breastmilk the child's father can get more involved in the night time feeds of the child. The mother should not be the one to do everything.

kylith wrote: »

And if she expresses the milk the father can have an active role in feeding.

Again, you're missing the fact that the OP doesn't want to breastfeed. This includes expressing does it not?

kylith wrote: »

That can be done in her own time in the comfort of her own home, where she can feel comfortable and private. I'm just trying to offer a compromise.

Why should she have to compromise? She has said she doesn't want to do it and, given that bottle feeding is not going to harm her child, her partner and the posters in this thread should respect that instead of shoving "breast is best" down her throat.

kylith wrote: »

Yes, it is her body, and if she wants to use formula then I wouldn't have one word said against her.

And yet here you are offering your compromise.

kylith wrote: »

Unfortunately there are militants on both sides of the equation. One of my SiLs was bullied out of breastfeeding by members of her family who thought it was 'disgusting', told her she'd 'never make enough milk', 'it's painful/degrading/you'll be like a milk cow', until she caved into them.

How is that relevant? If your sister-in-law wanted to breastfeed then she should have breastfed. It is nobody else's business, just like the OPs decision not to breastfeed.

kylith wrote: »

Ultimately it's a woman's decision to make, but I think all sides of the arguement should be examined before a decision is reached.

Why are you assuming that the OP hasn't examined all sides of the argument? She is aware that breastfeeding is the healthier choice (please note the use of the word "healthier" not "healthy". There is nothing wrong with bottlefeeding) and she has still said that she doesn't want to do it. Patronising the OP while ignoring the main issue - the disagreement between her and her partner - is unnecessary and unhelpful.

LegacyUser

Op here,

Just wanted to thank everyone for the comments. The majority have been very supportive.
Some have said I should wait until the time comes and see how I feel then rather than stressing about it now. I will try to do that

It always something I knew I wouldnt be comfortable doing. I now live in North America, where people are more forthright with their opinions, so i worry that I will have a lot of pressure from doctors/midvies here. My hope was that my OH (him being the more assertive one, im pretty shy and wouldnt say boo to a mouse lol) would be able to back me up and tell people to lay off if they were giving me a hard time. That he doesnt agree with my position is what stressed me out...sort of having to go it alone so to speak. But he isnt the type to force his opinion on me or be overbearing in any way, i just wanted him on my side i guess.

Ill just have to learn to be more assertive....and i'll bookmark this thread so when the time comes I can read it for support

solerina

its everyones own decision, your OH really should allow you to make up your own mind...I know if I had a child that I would bottle feed and noone would make me change my mind, no matter who they were.....you do what feels right for you OP !!

Storm_rages

Hi op,

I think you need to talk to the other half, tell him your worries. Having a baby is bloody scary, and its one time where you need to be backed up. Talk to him.
There are really good reasons to breast feed and personally i would encourage you to try but if your not happy too then your other half will need to accept this and you will need to know he does.

up for anything

Adolf Breastfeeder wrote: »

Don't breastfeed if you don't want to.

Don't listen to anyone else's opinions on it. I am 100% for breastfeeding, as is my wife, but we've learned to keep quiet about it, else be labelled a "breastfeeding nazi" or "breastapo" blah blah blah.

By the way, we get just as many people telling us not to breastfeed our boy and why we're mad etc. The bullying works both ways.

Yup, I got bullied by the anti-breastfeeding lobby too.

Chinafoot wrote: »

In fact it could be argued that solely breastfeeding excludes the father from bonding with their child during feeding.

Chinafoot wrote: »

the fact that her baby's father will have no role in the feeding....

Chinafoot wrote: »

If she is not relying on breastmilk the child's father can get more involved in the night time feeds of the child. The mother should not be the one to do everything.

I'm finding your repetitiive rallying cry for fathers to be more actively involved with their babies feeding very strange. Fathers can get involved with breastfeeding - just because it's not their nipple going in the baby's mouth doesn't mean they can't get involved.

You enjoyed the term 'breastapo' but it seems to me that you are the converse of that but I can't be bothered to think of a comic term for it.


OP, it's completely up to you what way you feed your baby when/if the time comes but you need to sort out the issue with your husband well before then. It doesn't bode well for your future relationship for him to be trying to force you into something you don't want to do. Life as a new mother, or father in his case, can be stressful enough without unneeded friction between the two of you.

One thing to think about is that though people go on about breastfeeding being natural, good for the baby yada yada yada, is that it is also the most wonderful feelings in the world to look down and watch your baby drawing sustenance from you. I had my share of mastitis, cracked nipples, nipple thrush and general oh feck why am I doing this times but for the majority of the time it was AMAZING - and not because of not having to pay for formula, or make up bottles or reheat them in the middle of the night or because I felt righteous for doing it but because it brought me closer to my babies in an indefinable way. Both the pro and anti lobbys miss out on this when they argue their sides.

Anyhow you will find your own way when the time comes - just don't be passively intimidated or bullied into doing something that you don't want to do.