When did you tell your family?

mrsWhippy

Hey there,

I'm only 5 weeks, but already finding all the white lies and evasive answers really difficult! I feel like such a fraud - and am trying to avoid my family for the moment

It's such a big thing to try conceal, esp with the extreme tiredness I know our families will be delighted too so it makes it even harder not to tell.

When did you tell your family you were pregnant? I'm thinking after the 8 week scan, just to have a bit of confirmation that that pregnancy is viable, and a pic would be nice to show them, even if it's just a blob Don't want to tell them too early as they'd be just worrying, and I think the news would go viral anyway :P

Squiggler

On my first pregnancy we told them all at 12 weeks, once we were out of the "danger zone". Like you we couldn't wait to tell them and share our good news, but... it has a downside too as some people seem to think that a pregnancy belongs to everyone.

I love all my family and my husband's but I will be leaving it much later next time, and won't be telling them much. We had an extremely stressful last few weeks of the pregnancy which was made much worse by constant enquiries from family (friends had more sense) as to whether "anything had happened yet".

Next time they will definitely be on a need to know basis and they don't need to know much.

staticdoor71

hey i found out i was pregnant at 5 weeks, and i managed to keep to in for 2 weeks only. So we told his parents and mine at 7 weeks, but swore them all to secrecy till we had our 12 weeks scan. but I think we were about 16 or 17 weeks before like the ordinary joe soap on the street knew. We almost 30 weeks now :eek:

I actually think in fact that his parents didnt even tell his siblings till we had our 12 week scan.

Its very much a personal thing. The way I see it, yeah you can wait till 12 weeks.. but then again, if, god forbid something happened before my "safe 12 weeks", i would have wanted the support of our families, without having to say, well yeah we were, now were not..

But each to their own

BIG CONGRATS BTW

dublinlady

mrsWhippy wrote: »

Hey there,

I'm only 5 weeks, but already finding all the white lies and evasive answers really difficult! I feel like such a fraud - and am trying to avoid my family for the moment

It's such a big thing to try conceal, esp with the extreme tiredness I know our families will be delighted too so it makes it even harder not to tell.

When did you tell your family you were pregnant? I'm thinking after the 8 week scan, just to have a bit of confirmation that that pregnancy is viable, and a pic would be nice to show them, even if it's just a blob Don't want to tell them too early as they'd be just worrying, and I think the news would go viral anyway :P

I'd say try wait til 14 to 16 weeks if u can at all!! I know it's so exciting and I was fit to burst with the news but really it makes it quite long for everyone if they know early! Plus in my case we found out we were pregnant with twins at 7 weeks and told my family at 8 weeks ( had pics and all) and then one of the twins died at 9 weeks so it was horrible and meant we had to explain to our families when in reality maybe a week or two to come to terms with that on our own may have been better as it was v.difficult.... We still would have told them about our twin but we would have had time to let it sink in and understand it a bit better ourselves first. While evasion of WMD about why your not drinking , why your so tired etc etc is a royal pain - I think the main thing is to remember how long pregnancy actually lasts!!!! If ya can at all keep it as a lovely fantastic secret between yourselves and enjoy this v.special and exciting time!! I know with my next pregnancy I'll try keep it a secret until 16 weeks or until I am literally showing ( which by the way happens a lot later than I would have thought!!!) I'm almost 36 weeks now and it all feels so long ago!!! I truly feel like I've been pregnant forever - prob be the same for you!

dublinlady

P.s couldn't agree more with static door - its a hugely personal thing and if u feel like blurting it out right now do! There's no right or wrong!! Just bear the consequences in mind

Ms2011

I found out I was pregnant @ 4 weeks. I told my sister @ 6 weeks and the rest of our families @ 8 & half weeks after we got the all clear on a private scan.
The only disadvantage I've found from telling so early is that the pregnancy seems to be lasting forever!

mrsWhippy

Thanks all for the replies (have no thanks option, yet, sorry! )

This pregnancy already feels like it's lasting forever, I've really no idea how I'm going to get through the next 8 months :eek: Am really taken aback at how much it's taking out of me, coming from someone who normally trains 5 days a week, and now I can't get off the couch :mad:

It'll all be worth it!!

liliq

I found out when I was 6 weeks, told my partner the next day (we weren't living together at the time), my mam and dad 2 days later, and his mam and dad 2 days after that.
The circumstances were that we kinda had to tell them, but if we could have gotten away with it, I would have loved to keep it "ours" for at least a few weeks!

mrsWhippy

Sorry for your loss, Dublinlady.

Mink

If the person you want to tell is someone you'd be comfortable using as a shoulder to cry on should anything go wrong (touch wood) then it should be fine to tell.

We found out 5wks, told my sisters, hubby's parents & one couple that we're close friends with pretty much straight away.

After a reassurance scan at 9 weeks I told one other friend, hubby's siblings & one other relative - this was mainly as we were spending Christmas with them.

Now I'm nearly 13 wks and have had more scans & blood tests and all looks okay so we are telling people as it comes up. I actually sort of have to now as I'm showing very early! It's really starting to look obvious. I was going to tell my boss today but he left early.

So you can do it in stages, but the main thing is taking consideration how close you are to that person in reality.

Re what someone else said earlier, I am definitely going to be telling people my due date is 3 weeks after my actual due date. I saw how everyone was texting my poor sister every bleedin hour and it was so annoying for her as she was already climbing the walls what with being overdue and all.

Neyite

I was in the same position as DublinLady. Found out on 7 week scan that we had twins, and lost one between then and our 9 week scan (missed miscarriage)

I knew that as soon as I told my mother I was expecting, she would not keep it quiet, and since I wanted her to be the first to know, waited until 14 weeks to tell her then everyone else in the family immediatly after. I would have been happy telling at 12 weeks, but my partner was a bit more cautious and wanted it announced at 16 weeks so we compromised (I was already starting to show a little by then so we would have been tempting guesses anyway)

We never mentioned the twin when announcing our news - if we did, our good news would have turned sad, and our remaining baby deserved (we felt) to be celebrated. I told my sisters and mother at a later stage about our little twin.

Edit: One sister who I am extremely close to knew from the start. She also knew we were trying for 2 years and also about our fertility treatment.

qwertytlk

Congratulations! It is really exciting and i know you want to shout it ffrom the rooftops but just remember that you will be pregnant for almost a year. (10 months) its a resally long time and can be made feel alot longer when you have constant questions from family etc.
Personally i only found out i was pregnant at 6 months. I told my mother straight away but waiting another 2 weeks before i told anyone else. The last month of my pregnancy really dragged out because people were asking constantly had anything happened yet. I know they jad the best of intentions but i swear time was going backwards. It was very tiring. So just bear that in mind.
Best of luck with eveything and enjoy your pregnancy

petite85

Congrats mrs whippy

I think its really up to yourself when you want to tell ur family. I told my parents and my husbands parents when I was 10 weeks preg on my daughter and swore them to secrecy until after 12 weeks. On my second I told both parents at 7 weeks and unfortunatly we lost the baby a week later.

The support we got after our loss was tremendous and I feel that if I hadn't told them as early as I did then they would have had to deal with the shock of us pregnant again and the loss and maybe we wouldn't have got as much support.

I am now 35 weeks pregnant and told them at 8 weeks on this baby and it felt right to have told them as soon as I did. I felt happy to share the news and I knew I would have the support if (God forbid) something was to happen.

So....that decision lies with you.

Best of luck with the pregnancy

ps: that tiredness goes when you enter 2nd trimester

caprilicious

Congratulations on your good news Mrs. Whippy!

I definitely as in the school of 'wait a little longer', only because it is such a lovely time as a couple to have the news to yourself and to get used to it too.

That said, I found it very difficult keeping the news from those around me (work colleagues/family) as I died with exhaustion and morning sickness for the first few weeks, so everyone had an inkling there was something going on!

If you told close family (maybe just parents/siblings) to begin with, then everyone else at 12 weeks, it'd be a lovely close experience to have with your family.
I told my sister this time at around 8 weeks and she came with me to my first scan then, she was so excited to share the secret with me and it did bring us that bit closer

Hopefully the tiredness will ease for you very soon & you can start to enjoy your pregnancy

theg81der

Told the mums straight away and the rest of family at 8 weeks as it was xmas. Told my step daughter yesterday and today the world, its not a dirty secret its wonderful happy news!

Joe10000

My OH has just had the 12 wk scan and we have now told the world, before that only her mum and my brother knew. Its our first.