Feel like there's no point

LegacyUser

I'm a 21 year old female who has dealt with feelings of worthlessness for my entire life. I don't know why, sometimes I think I'm the only sane one and other people just have a false sense of their own importance. I thought I'd reached a turning point in the last year or so. I mean I'm still "unimportant" in the grand scheme of things but I could just live my live and enjoy it.

Recently I went through my 1st break-up and all these feelings of my utter uselessness came rushing back. I broke up with him, he was immature, he didn't treat me well and I'm over him. But when I broke up with him he just didn't care and it sort of broke my spirit a little. His response was something along the lines of "fine. So thats it then?". No apology, no arguing, no asking for me back. Even if he'd called me a bítch and stormed off I would have been happier, at least that would have shown I was of some importance in his life. But I got nothing, because I'm not worth the hassle and I never have been which is presumably why he treated me like crap in the 1st place.

I have friends and college and stuff but I have nothing of meaning in my live. There's nothing I'm good at, there's nothing I love doing, all of my friends have other friends or boyfriends. I feel like I'm floating through life. I'm not saying that having a boyfriend gave me something to live for, not at all but since we broke up I've just started to feel awful again.

Little Acorn

opiria wrote: »

But I got nothing, because I'm not worth the hassle and I never have been which is presumably why he treated me like crap in the 1st place.

No. You got "nothing" from him because he was an immature idiot who would have treated any girlfriend he had like crap if he got away with it, not just you:

"he was immature, he didn't treat me well and I'm over him."

If he thought you were worthless he would never have dated you in the first place. His simplistic response "so that's it then?" is what is to be expected from the type of person who is immature and treats his girlfriends like crap, and is no reflection whatsoever on your worth as a person.

I actually think that deep down you must realise you are not worthless, because you had enough self respect to dump the ass of the guy who wasn't treating you well.
That shows a sense of self worth, and is something you should be happy and proud of about yourself. I don't know how long you put up with him, but that is actually irrelevant now, because the most important thing is that you realised you were worth more than what he was giving you, and ended it, and I say well done for that.

I have friends and college and stuff but I have nothing of meaning in my live. There's nothing I'm good at, there's nothing I love doing, all of my friends have other friends or boyfriends. I feel like I'm floating through life.

I think a hell of a lot more people than you think feel this way often OP, they just hide it quite well and carry on.
There is a thread here on page 5 of Personal Issues called "Hate being Average" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056498541 where the guy in the op said almost identical things to yourself in that part I've quoted.
Zen65 said in his opening line:
"You have an ambition to be better than average, and that's the only start you need."
I think you should read the rest of his post, and some of the others on that thread, there is some very good advice in it.

You are still only 21 and have your whole life to develop and learn things that you will become very good at. You have thousands of activities that you could try, to see if you develop an interest in them, and the right one could very well become meaningful to you in the future.

You said that "all your friends have other friends or boyfriends". Why is this a problem? Alot of people have quite a few friends. If you feel that you are being neglected by your current friends, then I think that maybe you need to either speak with them about it, or else make new friends. Again there is mountains of advice here on boards about making new friends.

You said that you feel you are "unimportant in the grand scheme of things", I think every single person ponders over that at some point, and wonders what is the meaning or point of everything. I don't think I'm ever going to change the world significantly, and will doubtfully be very important to the world as a whole, but I am important to those who love me, and I guess that's something. Without wanting to sound arrogant but I'm important to myself to, I believe I deserve to be happy and that I am worth working very hard for myself to achieve my goals in life.
You should be less concerned about how important others or the world in general sees or needs you, and focus on how important your happiness and life is to yourself.
If 99% of us are not of any great significant or worth to the world as a whole,then so what?
We can be of great importance to a small few people in our lives, and to ourselves, and just work to enjoy and live our own individual lives, and have fun doing so!.

You are definitely not worthless. You quite likely mean a huge amount to some people, and even if you didn't you should learn to feel that your life and existence should mean a lot to YOU.
Maybe you could have a chat with the college counsellor just to work through some of these feelings you are having.
I think I've rambled on a bit there during the end, but I hope my main point that you are not worthless comes across. Wish you well.