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rollthedice

Hi everyone

I will keep this brief as I can but if you want to ask me anything, ask away .

I met someone online before christmas, everything was going great, really nice dates etc, he were in contact over christmas every day, and we met up after christmas for two dates. I felt that things were moving a little too fast, (he was talking about meeting family, spending next new years together etc ) so I told him that he was quite intense and to tone it down, I told him that I really did like him etc and that I wanted to see where things would lead. To be honest I had pictures of us going on holidays together during the summer but I didnt want to rush things as we both had come out of serious relationships the previous year.

A family member of his became seriously ill and was taken into hospital, obviously contact was seriously reduced due to this, a message a day previously this would have been 10-20 messages a day, and the dates stopped as well. I was fine about this family comes first and all that, especially when you havent made any commitment to someone.

In the last week or so everything has settled down again and I thought we would resume out relationship where we left off, instead the messages remain sparse, he doesnt reply within the day, and he has also missed a date. I began to wonder if he had met someone else or lost interest so I asked him, he said no. Looking at the facts removing the illness everything points to a lack of interest, so I logged onto the dating site where we met, ( I had stopped logging in when we got together as he had implied it would be disrespectful to him if I was emailing other guys, I expected the same from him), and he had logged on. When I approached him about this, he said that he had just logged on to check an email, he said he had been distant because of his family circumstances and that he liked me and wanted to see where we went and would make more of an effort in the future.

I suppose I am posting this here to get some opinions, my friends think drop him immediately, I am inclined to agree with them but a part of me wants to believe him too. Do you think I am being played?

Mmmoments

Yes OP I think you are being played. Sounds so like an experience I had. There is no excuse for logging in. How could an email been so important that he'd disrespect you? Surely it shouldn't matter if making it work with you is his priority. This guy is not to be trusted imho. Try to get away from him now before you get badly hurt

Miss Fluff

Actions invariably speak louder than words. He's telling you he remains interested etc but he's not actually demonstrating that is he? Sounds to me like he may be dating someone else and is giving you just enough attention to hedge his bets lest the other option doesn't work out. I think you've given him ample opportunities now to show him you're keen to proceed and he simple hasn't reciprocated so I'd be waving day-day if I were in your position.

rollthedice

thanks guys, I suppose I just wanted confirmation of what I already suspected, its his loss after all

LegacyUser

Yep similar to an experience i had, except i was going out with the guy for 3 months and thought we were starting to go somewhere. After about a month or six weeks, he he told me he had deleted his profile, i was chuffed, so i did too. Towards the end he started becoming a little distant, i checked up on him and he'd recreated his profile, with the same user name - doh! I discovered he'd been logging into another dating site the whole time we were together too. I don't know why people have to do this sh1t. Go out with me if you want to, don't if you don't want to, but don't mess me around Steer clear of this guy OP.