Is image really such a priority?

niamh1988

Ok I had someone go out of their way tonight to point out to me that I am ugly, said person was sober and a complete stranger. Now I admit that I am not the best looking person around, but I certainly have some nice features as does everyone else. My personality and caring nature make up for what I lack looks wise, so why do people have to put others down based on their looks?

*not completely LGBT related but I don't know where else to put it

Slang_Tang

It's not really LGBT related, but don't worry about that person. S/he was a complete díck.

When people insult others, it's just insecurity on their part. That person was insecure about their own looks and pathetic enough to take it out on you.

You sound like you have a positive view of yourself. Don't let this person ruin that.

Coeurdepirate

I don't want to give the general "ignore them" response, but seriously, just do. It's a bit pathetic really that strangers would go around saying that kind of hurtful stuff to people, just don't take it to heart and put it down to immaturity and just people being twats. I doubt you're as unattractive as you think, and it's good that you realise your good features, because your confidence will make them shine through a lot more. Also as you have said, you have a good personality and a caring nature. In my opinion anyway, personality is definitely more important, obviously looks catch people's attention (or else conversation) but personality holds it, and somebody who goes around trying to bring others down is not somebody who I'd like to be with, regardless of what they looked like. And just in case you think I'm giving advice as an older person or as a girl (let's face it, older people and girls are always nicer!), I'm actually a 17 year old male.

baby and crumble

Don't worry about it OP. I used to get called "Jack Osbourne" when I went out when the show was popular. (I was 20 and a WOMAN.) SO really, just ignore them. It's not your fault they have no self confidence, hence they bring other people down.

Some people are just nasty. That's pretty much all there is to it, I find. Chin up!

Aard

niamh1988 wrote: »

My personality and caring nature make up for what I lack looks wise, so why do people have to put others down based on their looks?

This person probably lacks any personality and caring nature, and looks is all they've got.


In my experience, people put others down when they feel threatened. You obviously have something she's envious of. Likely self-esteem.

niamh1988

Thanks everyone

Moon Indigo

I know it must have hurt and it obviously got to you but listen chin up. I know it does get under your skin I used to get it everyday and I don't mean just as a kid but as an adult as well. I got it walking down the street with complete strangers shouting across the road at me 'hey goofy state of you'.

As my partner said 'don't let them get under your skin or they win'. I know its not about winnning but its just a sad reflection on their part to be so horrible. Sad fact some people are nasty and base everything on just what they see but at the end of the day these are not the people you would want to know as friends anyway so really their opinion is worth zilch.

Just to say it obvious you are a sensitive and intelligent soul sure didn't you think about it and come to boards! LOL best of luck its nothing just water off a ducks back

Nyan Cat

people tend to take the mick out of what they feel threatened by, what they dont understand, what theyre jealous of, what they fear they themselves have etc.... just look at how bullies operate. ignore them, what they said was based on one of the above. its their issue, not yours! id say you most likely also have something they want. like nice eyes or great legs. and personality, like someone said.

sadly, people who bully are rife. just because its an underhand comment, sly sneers or undermining someone confidence doesnt mean its not bullying, it really is bullying in adult form

dreamer_ire

It's quite simple.... looks fade, personality doesn't!

Rick_

Sadly in the gay world I have found looks are everything to 90% of gay guys and girls. As someone who is not exactly blessed with stunning good looks (but I dont think I'm totally ugly either) I have found guys unwilling to approach me in bars and those that have been asked by my friends or their friends to approach me have (sometimes rather harshly) refused to do so. I understand you don't fancy some people but you don't have to be flat out rude about it. People have feelings and emotions you know... well, most of us do!

L.Jenkins

Is image really such a priority?

To a fair few people I've met, the answer would be yes. I've met a considerable amount of pretty shallow people in my time. I was told straight out by a woman last week that, 'I wasn't great looking in fairness'. Of course she got offended and ran off when I told her, she was no show pony, but would do for a ride around the house. Evil me having the last dig :P

niamh1988

Thank you guys

I was kind of hoping naively that people really didnt expect everyone to be absolutely perfect looking.The reason it got to me so much is because I have a facial injury from GAA that I am waiting on an appointment to get fixed, nothing horrific but it still makes me a bit sensitive towards digs against my image.

jaffacakesyum

I really don't see why people feel the need to be nasty about physical looks. Even if you think THAT much about image when it comes to anyone you meet on the street; It's one thing to think it, and another to actually say 'God you're so ugly' to someone's face. It's bizaare So cruel

That said, when it comes to chatting up, sex, relationships etc. I think looks are very important and I don't get offended when looks are the reason behind someone not being into me. I'd hate to be chatted up by/in a relationship with someone who didn't find me physical attractive.

That's why I hate getting called shallow. There's zero point in me pursuing someone I'm not physically attracted to.

Nyan Cat

niamh1988 wrote: »

Thank you guys

I was kind of hoping naively that people really didnt expect everyone to be absolutely perfect looking.The reason it got to me so much is because I have a facial injury from GAA that I am waiting on an appointment to get fixed, nothing horrific but it still makes me a bit sensitive towards digs against my image.

when someone gets their bitch on any asepct of my looks - which is not even down to looks but health or injury - i get MY bitch on. regardless of what the situation is, its not cool to ridicule or make fun of something like that

Pacifist Pigeon

Image, pfft!

Do you think a middle aged couple who wake up beside each other every morning care about each other's look!

L.Jenkins

Pacifist Pigeon wrote: »

Image, pfft!

Do you think a middle aged couple who wake up beside each other every morning care about each other's look!

That's what goes through head. My thoughts are, yeah she's good looking, but will I be able to stand her 20 years from now. Personality before looks for me.

Intouch9

We're a shallow race and it's disgusting. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and it seems like people are just conforming to the media's portrayal of beauty rather than making up their own minds.

I know that there has to be an initial attraction (for me it's either eyes, teeth or ass - morto) but after that, it's all down to humor, nature and personality.

corked

I find that there needs to be an attraction not necessarily hot or drop dead gorgeous but an attraction.

Intouch9

Agreed - definitely needs to be something.

baby and crumble

Yeah there has to be an attraction, but for lots of people what attracts them isn't neccesarily what they think they should be attracted to, if that makes sense? Like, we've gone from a society in which the standard measure of a womans beauty in the 50's was a proper hourglass figure with certain wobbly bits to one wherein you're 'meant' to be closer to a stick figure to be considered attractive.



So sometimes people get embarrassed about who they find attractive. Some people will apologise for finding say, Beth Ditto attractive rather than Kirsten Stewart. Then again, all you need to do is look at the "who do you find attractive" threads on the various forums they run in to see that there is such a huge range of who and what people find attractive.

L.Jenkins

Well here's my short list at the moment:





I've always been attracted to the plus size woman as seen above. And yes I'll take it to the appropriate thread from here on out :P

Intouch9

I actually love that picture above (Baby and Crumble's) because it's so on the ball. There's no comparing the two.

brokenice

niamh1988 wrote: »

Ok I had someone go out of their way tonight to point out to me that I am ugly, said person was sober and a complete stranger. Now I admit that I am not the best looking person around, but I certainly have some nice features as does everyone else. My personality and caring nature make up for what I lack looks wise, so why do people have to put others down based on their looks?

*not completely LGBT related but I don't know where else to put it

Because they're ignorant c¨¨ts! If a man told you this, he probably has a small mickey as well. Don't ever let some idiot put you down! If anyone ever says that **** to you again...deck em! BAM! B**CH GOES DOWN!!!!!!! I'll have your back!

Aurongroove

is it also worth pointing out the differences between image and beauty, and also sexiness and nice looking.

I would never dress "sexy" for example. but were I to attend an important occasion I would put a couple of seconds into what color shirt etc.
also
sometime when people say ugly, they sometimes mean something we didnt think they meant. It could be that a person looks plain or hasn't 'dressed sexy', or the person may have very unusual facial or physical proportions.

I personally think ugliness is fickle, I have never seen a person who dosn't look beautiful when they're smiling, except one guy I know who looks like he's fake smiling when he's genuinely smiling, and he told me he develop a fake smile that looked like a real smile, and that he's okay about it. Poor sod.

baby and crumble

brokenice wrote: »

Because they're ignorant c¨¨ts! If a man told you this, he probably has a small mickey as well. Don't ever let some idiot put you down! If anyone ever says that **** to you again...deck em! BAM! B**CH GOES DOWN!!!!!!! I'll have your back!

Cool the jets. No need to get majorly aggressive!