Stuck in a rut

LegacyUser

I'm an 18 year old female currently in 6th year in school. Pressure is piling on with the leaving cert, especially with mocks in a couple of weeks, and I'm feeling completely overwhelmed.

At the end of 5th year last year I was feeling quite down, just put it down to a long year of school and the pill that I was on at the time (I'm taking it for period pains). Had my summer holidays, switched pills, and felt fine again. But this year it's more of the same. I was alright for a little while, and can't really pinpoint when I started feeling like this again. Before the Christmas tests though, I was getting very stressed, and just fed up of the same thing day in day out. I thought I'd get some good rest over the holidays, but all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep. My sleeping hasn't been great lately. Before Christmas I was falling asleep in classes a lot, and I had to take yesterday and today off because I'm so exhausted.

I feel really guilty when I don't do work, or when I don't do work properly. I thought my Christmas exams were a disaster, but then turned out fine - when I added up the points I'd gotten, if it had been the real leaving cert I would have had 50 more points than what's needed for the course I want to do. But I felt angry that I could have done better in certain subjects, that C could have been a B, that B could have been an A, etc. I'll admit that I'm a perfectionist, and I hate not doing things to the best of my ability. Yet I have no motivation to do what I should be doing, and I put things off. Then I get angry with myself for not doing it. It's cyclical, and horrible.

All my days are pretty much the same - get up, go to school, come home. When I'm home I'll go online for maybe an hour to unwind a bit, then try to launch into the homework/study. I'll spend a few hours on that and then go back online before I go to bed. I know I should cut down on how long I spend on the computer, but I don't know how how else to relax. I like reading, but when I'm in school all day the last thing I want to do is read a book again when I get home. Television doesn't interest me, either. It's not like I'm just staring at a blank screen when I'm online - I talk to friends, listen to music, watch videos, all sorts like that. But I know that it can't be helping my bad sleeping, so I know I should cut back.

I'm not looking for medical advice. My mother thinks I'm showing signs of depression (it runs in the family so it's possible) and I will be visiting my GP soon to get advice from him. I just want some advice on what I can do, just in practical terms, to get out of this rut that I'm in. How I can relax, and stop worrying about everything. I know there are probably a million other threads like this so I'm sorry that I haven't read over them, but I just wanted to get some of this off my chest as well. Thanks for reading.

LegacyUser

Could have been me five years ago!

If you like music, throw in your mp3 (presuming you have one) and go walking for a half an hour every night. Aside from the obvious physical health benefits, it does WONDERS for your mental health. I got into walking when I was in 5th year in school and I swear it kept me sane through my leaving cert. Now (final year in college) I really look forward to getting out for a bit - it's my time to switch off. It'll definitely help with getting a good nights sleep too!

Also, just remember - 6th year is a pretty crappy time for most people who are really striving to do well. But come July you'll just be psyched for college!!

Push through!

LegacyUser

You sound exhausted from reading your post. Why not join a gym or play sports? Exercise can do a lot for energy and stress relief it also helps regulate your cycle and cramps too. School and studying can be tiring and sitting in front of the computer does not help much either. Something active may help boost your mood and partaking in other hobbies will do as well. Take up a hobby or an evening class. Maybe cooking, knitting, photography whatever. Sounds like you are bored. As far as the depression, don't worry about it your in your teens it is tough. With exercise, proper nutrition and balanced lifestyle is enough to change your mood and make you feel better. Please do not isolate yourself when you come home from school. Go to the library with friends. I know it is somewhat routine for most of us that are studying but change the routine a bit. I remember doing the same thing. Coming home to just study and not do anything more than that than watch a couple of programmes on the telly. What may help is being active in other pursuits than just school. Good luck with whatever you do.

qwertytlk

Hi, tbh it sounds like your mother is right. Everything you discribe is all related symptoms of deprssion, and if it runs in your family too... Well you should really just go to your doctor sooner rather than later. With your lc coming up you need to get this sorted before its starts to have even more of a negative impact on your life. In the mean time id suggest you confide honestly in someone you trust about how you feel as sometimes just talking honestly about whats going on in your head can make so much difference to your overall mood. Also try to go for a walk or a swim or do so form of excercise for that hour you spend online when you get home. Excercise is a great way to lift your mood as it releases happy endorphins into your mind and body and really does improve your mood. It will also help to tire you out a bit so that will help with sleeping too. And studying. Diet is another thing that can help so make sure your eating properly-3 meals a day, especially breakfast and try make sure its healthy fresh food instead of ready meals or other junk food.
These things will all help you so in conunction with seeing your gp you should try all of the above. Hope this has helped and best of luck with your exams.
P.s make sure your getting at least 8 hours sleep per night also.

Ramza

Hi OP

I was much the same myself, the LC is a very tough time for students and I remembered how hard it was for me too!

Not to have a go, but do you have friends you could go out with and socialize with on evenings? My friends moved away from my area during my LC and I was left stuck inside on the computer on evenings after study like yourself. It's hard when there is nothing else to do! Are your friends in the same boat as you with studying?

I'm almost 21 now and in college and I found for me it was to go out and do something. Even though you may be tired I recommend swimming the odd evening, joining a sport or club or something, or just go for a walk! I usually found that broke the day up better for me and I visited my friends regularly too even though they moved away

This is not meant to be a post to put you down but merely to empathize as I have been there. As far as depression goes for me it was just plain boredom, but I recommend you visit your GP if you are worried

LegacyUser

Hi, op back again

Thanks everyone for the replies I'm thinking of taking up swimming even just once a week, that might help. In general I'm not very active simply because I just don't enjoy sport, it doesn't interest me. But I will try to do something like that, or going for a walk.

Ramza, you are right about not going out in the evenings to socialise. All of my friends from school live a good bit away, I'd need to get the bus out and back so it's not really an option in the evenings.

I don't really know how everyone else is feeling, if they're like this too. To be honest, I just feel really angry with myself when I think about it. I know that they must all be finding it hard too, so why should I complain when they're all able to get through it? I'm not the only person to do the leaving cert, and everyone else seems perfectly able to get through it. So whenever I get upset or overwhelmed, I end up feeling worse when I think like that. Even my mother is saying it, that everyone else must be feeling the same and I'll just have to get through it. But I just don't know how I'll get through it when I constantly feel down and unmotivated