My Dad

LegacyUser

To be quite blunt about everything, my dad is not well. This is not news to many of us from a large family, despite informing him he needs urgent medical attention. Without going into detail, every month he is getting worse.

He has a strong faith and we feel as if he has just given up on us due to his faith. He continually rejects all sane treatment recommended by our family. We've tried convincing him through every possible option but his faith seems to be a constant overriding factor.
I really can't go into any more detail but I know my dad is in constant pain but seems to be going to every nut job out there for "treatment", bar the professionals beyond our advice. There's nothing more heartbreaking than your Dad going to bed at ten o clock and hearing him whimpering in pain at five in the morning knowing he's in work in two hours time.


I know I haven't really asked for any specific advice in this thread but I hope/think people get where I'm coming from.

Miss Fluff

If he is devoutly religious could you perhaps ask your local priest/vicar/rabbi to have a word with him and recommend he see a medical professional? Maybe they might be able to pursuade him?

Ickle Magoo

Is there anyone who's advice he would take on board? Ultimately he's an adult and it's his right to accept/refuse any treatments if he's aware of the consequences of doing so...as hard as that may be - but perhaps if he looks up to someone, they might be able to get through to him.

What has been said to him? If it got to the point my dad was whimpering in pain then I think I'd have a few choice words to say to them about deliberately putting themselves in that position and how it makes others feel having to watch/listen to the consequences...

Sorry OP, horrible situation for you.

Oryx

I would also wonder if your father is afraid to face a possible truth about his ill health. He may not want to be told he is seriously ill, so he is avoiding anyone who could diagnose something bad.

How would he react if you forced the issue and called caredoc on a night when he is unwell, or booked a doctors appointment and 'ganged up on him' as it were, to go? A ridiculous thing to have to do, I know, but it sounds like he has his head in the sand with this one. I realise he is an adult and you ideally should respect his wishes, but it is hard to stand by when you see someone neglecting their health, so I understand your frustration, and why I would wonder would an 'intervention' work, or simply make him resent you all.

And does he have anyone close to him whose opinion he values that you could ask to have a word?

LegacyUser

It's not the exact same, but I have a mentally unwell parent who won't get help because of their deeply misguided, strongly held belief that mental illness only happens to other people and means you're weak. Instead, she used to read self-help books, but now just sits around in pyjamas.

Just wanted to say that I understand how frustrating it can be to live with someone who won't accept legitimate treatment due to false beliefs.

I have no real advice, but just wanted to answer you.