I dont know what to do with myself

justalad

I'm new here, I just have to vent my issue's somewhere.

I dont know where to start I'm stuck in a hole at the moment, have been for a long time and just when i think im out of it I end up worse off then i ever was. Iv lost my job gave up on my career and all i seem to be doing is turning to drink and drugs my head is just a mess over everything i dont know where to turn, the only thing thats going through my mind is death and it does seem appealing to me right now. I cant look forward to anything I want a good life but im stuck. Iv no money behind me all my good mates are all over in oz living it up while im trapped. I have no way out. Id love to pick up every thing and just run but iv no where to go, Im so sick of the life style iv ceated for myself, its just eating me up, im against suicide i lost friend to it but when things are this bad i dont think id be taking my life in vain. It will cripple my family but i cant continue the way im going im only making things worse for every one.

Im not after attension or aload of soppy replies I just want to be heard. I might not even be logging back on.

justalad

gmac102

justalad wrote: »

I'm new here, I just have to vent my issue's somewhere.

I dont know where to start I'm stuck in a hole at the moment, have been for a long time and just when i think im out of it I end up worse off then i ever was. Iv lost my job gave up on my career and all i seem to be doing is turning to drink and drugs my head is just a mess over everything i dont know where to turn, the only thing thats going through my mind is death and it does seem appealing to me right now. I cant look forward to anything I want a good life but im stuck. Iv no money behind me all my good mates are all over in oz living it up while im trapped. I have no way out. Id love to pick up every thing and just run but iv no where to go, Im so sick of the life style iv ceated for myself, its just eating me up, im against suicide i lost friend to it but when things are this bad i dont think id be taking my life in vain. It will cripple my family but i cant continue the way im going im only making things worse for every one.

Im not after attension or aload of soppy replies I just want to be heard. I might not even be logging back on.

justalad

Im sorry to hear about your troubles and its not easy, alot of ppl are in the same boat and its very hard cos it just brings you down.... i dont know what to say other than to say your not alone and i hope that in itself will make you feel a bit better
someone once said to me regarding a bad time i was going thru, if i just clung to a little bit of hope that it would get better, and it did now it took over two years but it did

i hope you feel better soon,

girlonfire

Hey
Sorry to hear how you're feeling and what you're going through. It's an awful lot to be dealing with on your own. Have you tried to talk to anyone close about how you're feeling? A family member or a friend?
It's so difficult living under such pressurising circumstances and I know it feels like you're on your own. But you're not. You said in your original post that it'd cripple your family to lose you. It sounds like they really care about you and I'm sure they'd be there to support you 100% if you talked to them about how you feel. I know if one of my brother's was going through what you describe I'd do anything I could to help them through it.
I've felt suicidal in the past and the pressure builds and builds when you're holding that in on your own. Please talk to someone about this. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but I can promise you that things will get better.
Hang on in there,x