The Perfect Crime

Immaculate Pasta

Have you ever committed or been victim to a perfect crime? A crime so perfect it could never be proved. You/They have simply gotten away with it.

I have once been victim of a perfect crime. I was driving and just filled up my car with petrol and bought a pack of chewing gum in the shop. I had taken a piece of chewing gum from the newly bought packet left the pack on the front seat and then drove straight to this garage run by these Romanians who wash your car for you. I dropped the car off with them and gave them the keys and said I wanted the car cleaned inside and out. They said no problem be back in 45 minutes. I came back later (they'd done a cracking job by the way), paid them and I drove off. I went to grab another piece of chewing gum and the packet was on its last piece :eek:. The guys who cleaned the car obviously took a piece for themselves then passed the packet round to all their friends. I was down a good ten pieces of chewing gum. I had been robbed. I had no proof they took it but I knew they had and who would dare confront somebody over theft of something as petty as a packet of chewing gum?

They'd gotten away with it. The perfect crime. Fair play to the lads.

Who's a good story to tell then? :cool:

chin_grin

crime/krīm/

Noun:
An action or omission that constitutes an offense that may be prosecuted by the state and is punishable by law.

mattjack

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

Have you ever committed or been victim to a perfect crime? A crime so perfect it could never be proved. You/They have simply gotten away with it.

I have once been victim of a perfect crime. I was driving and just filled up my car with petrol and bought a pack of chewing gum in the shop. I had taken a piece of chewing gum from the newly bought packet left the pack on the front seat and then drove straight to this garage run by these Romanians who wash your car for you. I dropped the car off with them and gave them the keys and said I wanted the car cleaned inside and out. They said no problem be back in 45 minutes. I came back later (they'd done a cracking job by the way), paid them and I drove off. I went to grab another piece of chewing gum and the packet was on its last piece :eek:. The guys who cleaned the car obviously took a piece for themselves then passed the packet round to all their friends. I was down a good ten pieces of chewing gum. I had been robbed. I had no proof they took it but I knew they had and who would dare confront somebody over theft of something as petty as a packet of chewing gum?

They'd gotten away with it. The perfect crime. Fair play to the lads.

Who's a good story to tell then? :cool:

As we speak your pack of gum is on a fast train to Romamialand.

Sky King

Rented out a property to a guy who ran up €24,000 in rent arrears plus about another €5,000 in legal fees.

Couldn't legally evict him quickly because the law was stacked so in his favour. He just kept running it through the PRTB's idiotic and convoluted appeals process. I got onto to politicians, journalists, even the ombudsman (who has no remit over the PRTB interestingly enough).

Eventually I got him out, he got a 12 day suspended sentence.

TeddyTedson

Downloaded the internet about 3 years ago on KaZaA LiTe

Fluorescence

I once killed a man by stabbing him with an icicle. Or something.

GASMANN

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

Have you ever committed or been victim to a perfect crime? A crime so perfect it could never be proved. You/They have simply gotten away with it.

I have once been victim of a perfect crime. I was driving and just filled up my car with petrol and bought a pack of chewing gum in the shop. I had taken a piece of chewing gum from the newly bought packet left the pack on the front seat and then drove straight to this garage run by these Romanians who wash your car for you. I dropped the car off with them and gave them the keys and said I wanted the car cleaned inside and out. They said no problem be back in 45 minutes. I came back later (they'd done a cracking job by the way), paid them and I drove off. I went to grab another piece of chewing gum and the packet was on its last piece :eek:. The guys who cleaned the car obviously took a piece for themselves then passed the packet round to all their friends. I was down a good ten pieces of chewing gum. I had been robbed. I had no proof they took it but I knew they had and who would dare confront somebody over theft of something as petty as a packet of chewing gum?

They'd gotten away with it. The perfect crime. Fair play to the lads.

Who's a good story to tell then? :cool:

you dont.

Mr.Biscuits

Get a job in a position of power and influence and then take the inevitable corrupt backhanders and 'donations' and if anyone asks to inspect your accounts - just point out that you don't actually have one.

Captain_Generic

I look back fondly at my days as a wallet inspector

Juwwi

I was walking along the Cliffs of Moher with the girlfriend when the wind swept her over the edge .

Potential-Monke

When i was 15 i robbed a box of Mars Bar ice-Creams from a shop. It was a soccer tournament, and we all left on the bus afterwards. I handed out the ice-creams before we left, and the owner was standing at the door. We all started eating them, looking out the window at the owner as the bus pulled away. The look on his face... Priceless. No CCTV in them days, so he couldn't prove who took them!

God i could have been a right scum-bag if it wasn't for the beatings!

the groutch

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

Get a job in a position of power and influence and then take the inevitable corrupt backhanders and 'donations' and if anyone asks to inspect your accounts - just point out that you don't actually have one.

That you Bertie?

Oscars Well.

I got away with locking my daughter in a basement for 24 years...They finally got me though :cool:

Latchy

Hmm ... thought I had left my criminal days behind me but the potential for blackmail in this thread is so appealing .

Daemos

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

Have you ever committed or been victim to a perfect crime? A crime so perfect it could never be proved. You/They have simply gotten away with it.

I have once been victim of a perfect crime. I was driving and just filled up my car with petrol and bought a pack of chewing gum in the shop. I had taken a piece of chewing gum from the newly bought packet left the pack on the front seat and then drove straight to this garage run by these Romanians who wash your car for you. I dropped the car off with them and gave them the keys and said I wanted the car cleaned inside and out. They said no problem be back in 45 minutes. I came back later (they'd done a cracking job by the way), paid them and I drove off. I went to grab another piece of chewing gum and the packet was on its last piece :eek:. The guys who cleaned the car obviously took a piece for themselves then passed the packet round to all their friends. I was down a good ten pieces of chewing gum. I had been robbed. I had no proof they took it but I knew they had and who would dare confront somebody over theft of something as petty as a packet of chewing gum?

They'd gotten away with it. The perfect crime. Fair play to the lads.

Who's a good story to tell then? :cool:

They were clearly criminal masterminds. You were lucky to get out with your spare change intact

Potential-Monke

Latchy wrote: »

Hmm ... thought I had left my criminal days behind me but the potential for blackmail in this thread is so appealing .

Section 4 Theft - 6 months for a summons to issue or it goes statute barred. You're move.

RachaelVO

I'm a victim of crime, every bleeding month I'm robbed by the govt!!!!!!!!! It seems like the perfect crime, no one can stop the effers!

Latchy

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Section 4 Theft - 6 months for a summons to issue or it goes statute barred. You're move.

Think I'll take the ' gone into hiding route for now'

Those dodgy lawyers are 10 a penny these days anyhow's :cool:

Daemos

Cabbages are great murder weapons. Bludgeon someone with it and then eat it. Bye bye evidence

castletownman

I've taken the virginity of a good few maidens in my day. Left them with a fake name and number and with nothing more than a goodbye.

The perfect crime.

El Weirdo

castletownman wrote: »

I've taken the virginity of a good few maidens in my day. Left them with a fake name and number and with nothing more than a goodbye.

The perfect crime.

I'd say that the fact that these crimes happened in your head is enough to ensure that you avoid any major jail time.

Irish Guitarist

I stole a Bon Jovi magazine from a newsagents when I was about thirteen. It would have been the perfect crime except the owner of the newsagents was standing on a stepladder changing a light bulb and was looking down at me. He didn't actually stop me though, he waited until I left the shop and followed me. I saw him and legged it as fast as I could.

I don't think I even liked Bon Jovi that much.

Latchy

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

I stole a Bon Jovi magazine from a newsagents when I was about thirteen. It would have been the perfect crime except the owner of the newsagents was standing on a stepladder changing a light bulb and was looking down at me. He didn't actually stop me though, he waited until I left the shop and followed me. I saw him and legged it as fast as I could.

I don't think I even liked Bon Jovi that much.

Ah well ,at least you didn't become a ' lil Runaway ' :pac:

Lord Nikon

I took a dump - the perfect crime.

biko

n 1971 I commandeered a plane claiming I had dynamite, eliciting a $200,000 ransom, before parachuting out of the plane and disappearing forever.

Stiffler2

Hello, Bertie Ahern here,

















o wait /

Stiffler2

biko wrote: »

n 1971 I commandeered a plane claiming I had dynamite, eliciting a $200,000 ransom, before parachuting out of the plane and disappearing forever.

Ahh Biko / DB Cooper,

I've forwarded your note onto the FBI.
I'll let them deal with you once & for all

Bad Panda

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

Have you ever committed or been victim to a perfect crime? A crime so perfect it could never be proved. You/They have simply gotten away with it.

I have once been victim of a perfect crime. I was driving and just filled up my car with petrol and bought a pack of chewing gum in the shop. I had taken a piece of chewing gum from the newly bought packet left the pack on the front seat and then drove straight to this garage run by these Romanians who wash your car for you. I dropped the car off with them and gave them the keys and said I wanted the car cleaned inside and out. They said no problem be back in 45 minutes. I came back later (they'd done a cracking job by the way), paid them and I drove off. I went to grab another piece of chewing gum and the packet was on its last piece :eek:. The guys who cleaned the car obviously took a piece for themselves then passed the packet round to all their friends. I was down a good ten pieces of chewing gum. I had been robbed. I had no proof they took it but I knew they had and who would dare confront somebody over theft of something as petty as a packet of chewing gum?

They'd gotten away with it. The perfect crime. Fair play to the lads.

Who's a good story to tell then? :cool:

Not really the perfect crime when they could be so easily implicated.