Abused young guy!

whatcartoget

Okay I've being trying to write this thread for a few days and I am finding it very hard. Well basically I am a 19 year old guy and I am in college. It is going well.
At Christmas I had to spend time with a relative who sexually and Physically abused me when I was younger. It drove me insane I was't able to eat my Christmas dinner a relax for the whole day because of this man he made me feel so anxious I told people my parents about it but they basically said to stop lying because ******* would never do that.
I am at college now but I am off for the month of January but I have found that since I've gone to college I am drinking a lot more and taking drugs. I know this is dangerous but I am really enjoying myself since I've gone to college part of me doesn't care what happens to me any more.

HOS 1997

I would suggest going to the guards to report the crimes and going to a doctor for advice on your drinking/mental state.

whatcartoget

I don't want to report it to the guards it will only wreck families. My mental state is okay I think I am not particular sad at all but it just when I am at home. When I am in college I am actually happy nearly all the time.

sunshiner

would you try talking to the college councillor or find out if theres support groups out there.

HOS 1997

whatcartoget wrote: »

I don't want to report it to the guards it will only wreck families. My mental state is okay I think I am not particular sad at all but it just when I am at home. When I am in college I am actually happy nearly all the time.

If he sexually and physically abused you he is a danger to kids and in my opinion needs to be reported in case he abuses another child. Would you like anyone to go through what you experienced?

hey op, you dont want to report it to the guards because you dont want to wreck families?
i understand your thinking, but clearly this person wrecked your christmas, and if you dont mind me syaing so, will completely wreck your life if you continue to use alcohol and drugs as an escape.

you say you're happy now, of course you are, you are escaping, not living in the real world, not dealing with your feelings.
its hard to do, very hard, most people want to put it off, forget about the things that are hard to do. no-one REALLY wants to deal with these things but people find that usually they find themselves in a position where they HAVE to deal with them.

i hope this doesnt happen to you, do not try to forget about what happened to you by clouding your mind with drink and drugs. i find that what bothers you will find someway to come out eventually.

im very sorry your parents didnt believe you, thats terrible, you should report it, i understand if you dont want to go to gardai about it. the whole process is very difficult, if it is your word against his it makes it difficult, could there be a court case? this is difficult too. for everyones family.

i would advise that you think about what a poster above said, could you live happily knowing he may be doing the same to other kids? would this guilt maybe make you feel worse in years to come?

practically, i advise reporting, once its reported to Gardai they HAVE to report it to social workers, its your choice to make a criminal complaint, you dont have to but once social workers are aware, they will take whatever precautions are neccessary to protect any children that are in contact with this person.

also, go to your college counsellor as a matter of urgency, i know you feel great now, but these things have a way of creeping back up on you when you least expect.

blatantrereg

I can see why you feel like that. Your immediate family dismiss you as a liar and have you sit there and be polite to someone who did that. That situation would really crush feelings of self-worth.

It's a very bad idea to use drink and drugs in the sort of self-medicating way you appear to be.

I think the best thing for your own state of mind would be to refuse to accept such treatment in future. Simply refuse to be in the person's presence. If that means not eating your xmas dinner with your family then it means not eating your xmas dinner with your family.

LenaClaire

whatcartoget wrote: »

I don't want to report it to the guards it will only wreck families. My mental state is okay I think I am not particular sad at all but it just when I am at home. When I am in college I am actually happy nearly all the time.

whatcartoget wrote: »

I am at college now but I am off for the month of January but I have found that since I've gone to college I am drinking a lot more and taking drugs. I know this is dangerous but I am really enjoying myself since I've gone to college part of me doesn't care what happens to me any more.

Hi OP - You say you are okay and happy at school but you also say that right now you don't care what happens to you any more and that you are drinking more and taking drugs. These are signs of depression. I would recommend talking to someone just to get things figured out. Perhaps your school can recommend someone you can talk to at least for a little while.

Taltos

OP while what you have gone through is terrible we would ask you to please not open multiple threads.

Currently you have two open threads, one on the same issue with some excellent advice and another from last week on a separate topic.
As a result I am closing this thread.

Taltos