Getting Older:what do you think?!

LegacyUser

Hi there! I am now 36 years old. I have had a tough life, but nonetheless a good one and have achieved a lot.
I have a great family, good friends and a permanent job.
I am single.
I have suffered with generalised anxiety and quite bad ocd for much of my life: I have battled this with therapy, education and medication. I also practice meditation and lotsa exercise!

So, I just get fleeting moments where I think...bloody hell I am getting older...and time seems to be going by so quickly.
Friends around me are plodding along at life, work, with wives and kids,,,it just seems that the years are going by faster and faster!

This sometimes depresses me as I think of getting older, slower, less attractive... or else I start trying to fit as much into my life as I can....I am scared I will reach 50 and regret not doing x, y and z
I met a lovely girl a few weeks ago; she is 24, and so 12 years younger and it just dawned on me: I am probably a bit old for her...Aaaagghh!!

Apologies for the negativity here: I am actually a very positive person...
But I just feel quite scared of the prospect.
<SNIP>

I would love to come to an acceptance of it!

I would love some feedback!

Stoptheclock.

LegacyUser

yup, I'm almost 35 and feel the same, though I am WAY behind professionally where I should be, or where most other 35 year olds should be. Saying that I am content (fairly), and realise now that being healthy and living to an old age is what I would like. I am not afraid of getting old, just have no regrets!
Aren't you lucky that a 24 year old has hooked up with you. Obviously she must think you don't look or appear old. Being young at heart is no bad thing, as long as you don't dress like an 18 yr old, or the cheesey old English dudes on the pull in Majorca!!
Just enjoy it....

nyarlothothep

There's nothing you can do about it as far as I know, I empathize as time passes too quickly for me also. The only thing I can think of is so embrace the moment and in a way there is an advantage to it in that the bad times move quickly too. Also I think there is way too much of an emphasis on youth culture nowadays, its ok to be old, being young and cool is overrated,being old and deep/wise is equally cool. Anyway I'm ten years younger than you and I don't regard 36 as old, nor 50 for that matter, although it depends on the person.

blatantrereg

It's up to her whether you're too old for her or not. The question for you is whether she is too young for you.

As regards meeting women in general - well go try to meet some women I guess. You sound like you've stuff going for you or whatever. Feeling like "argh must find someone before I get too old!" - that could cause problems - make you rush into things, be too keen, even seem a bit desperate.

World won't end if you dont marry by 40 or something.

From a practical point of view, long term potential with a 24 year old is significantly lower than someone a bit older. Better off with someone old enough to know their own mind and what they want. More likely to have a balanced relationship too. All just my personal opinion of course.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies: I appreciate it!
I suppose as we get older we can potentially become more whole and interesting people: more life experience, more laughter lines, wiser and calmer and happier in ourselves.

This girl I met is a real gem;cute, warm, funny and well just lovely!
We have been in touch just as pals and I will just get to know her better and see what happens! She lives in the Uk so chances are slim really...but at least I am more relaxed now about the situation: we all met over Christmas on an adventure holiday: last week was really tough getting back to work, bills, etc.

So I find now with work: I am the 2nd oldest on staff,,, on my foreign trip, I was the 2nd oldest in our group....I just am becoming more conscious of my creeping ever closer to 40 and being, well .....older!!
I am dreading the day when girls in their 20's look at me and say:'Jesus you are old!!"

I am practicing mindfulness meditation which I really enjoy and helps me ground myself in the present..but still, it seems time is just flying!

Do you think things get better with age?

uck51js9zml2yt

I met my wife at 39 and am 14 years older than her.we are married 3 years. My inlaws are 9 years older than me.
none of this is a problem.

ongarboy

I guess attitudes to being older are really a state of mind? If we were all justified in being miserable or upset for getting older, surely people over 65 would never get out of bed in the morning such was their trauma for being ancient? I look to my folks and many elders and sometimes envy the happiness and sense of peace and content they have. This proves to be that getting older is not such a terrible thing. While I don't love the fact that my physical appearance will deteriorate somewhat, I am not dreading getting older (I'm currently mid 30s).

OP, you fear hitting 50 and regretting not doing x, y and z. What's stopping you from dong x,y and z this year? I suspect much of your dilemma on ageing focuses on the fact you are single. You will possibly find it easier to make contact with single girls of similar age to you if you look in the right places. Restricting yourself to focusing on girls a decade or more younger than you may place obstacles on finding success as many 20somethings will only be interested in someone in or around their own age and view even age gaps of 5 years as signficant. Those age gaps become insignificant, the older we become.

I know it's a cliche but age is just a number. It does not measure how vibrant and full of life you are as a person. Remember a 100 year old just completed a marathon last year!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies!
Ongarboy: I like your attitude: many older people seem to be more content & happier in their own skin...when we are in our teens and twenties we often fly around, trying to impress people, self conscious about ourselves and unsure of where our lives are going.

I suppose the difference between me now, and me 1o years ago, is that I am a bit more calm, know myself better and have much more life experience.
In spite of the battle I face daily with anxiety & ocd, I appreciate how precious and short life is.
I dont think the fact that I am single is making me think about getting older: is probably a combo of having too much time alone, having ocd and just generally noticing how quickly time is going by.
It would be nice to have a girfriend, but the last girl I went out with,,it turned out to be more quite stressful in the end as I saw her more as a friend.
The 24 year old girl, probably is too young: but was funny for me, because I am normally slow to develop feelings for someone, but with her it was just 2 weeks & I was constantly thinking about her! Life is funny!

I think acceptance is really important of who we are and where we are in life & then we can move forward from here.
I accept that I am 36 years old, have a nice family and friends & also battle really hard with anxiety and ocd! Life has been tough, and I hope as I get older, I start to enjoy it more and live more in the moment, instead of worrying all the time!

carpe diem: Seize the Day!