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People with mental health issues and dating?

  • 14-01-2012 9:19am
    #1
    Ironmaiden11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭


    Hi all. I am just wondering if anyone has any advice. A close friend of mine has had some mental health issues in the past. These are largely resolved but he's on meds still and missed the boat a bit in terms of getting his life together. He's 36 and a decent looking chap but on social welfare but not a drinker or drug user. He's generally a normal bloke. He would like to meet a girl but doesnt feel v confident in this realm as hes on meds etc. Plus alot of girls seem to want men with money- that's natural. Not sure if there's an appropriate social group. Does anyone know of one? Otherwise any advice from people in the same boat or knowing someone in the same boat? He lives in south co Dublin. I looked on meet up and there was nothing specific for this cohort of people who might be on meds or attending psychiatric services so feel on the back foot I'm the dating game. It's kind of sad as am sure there is his female equivalent out there!


Comments

  • #2
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    Dont think he needs to find his female equivalent necessarily. That makes it sound like the only person who might be interested would be someone in the exact same boat. There are enough women who would be more interested in who the person he is, rather than his position and condition.

    A lot of girls do go for men with money. It indicates very bad things about them if they place high importance on this though. Not having money is a useful filter for non-desirable women, who might otherwise pass themselves off as very desirable. Social position is goign to be felt more keenly in many parts of south dublin than in other parts of the country in my experience. [I'm from south dublin myself incidentally]

    It would be better if he did something constructive with his time, even if a job is not a possibility for him atm. Fás courses, college, community work, charity work - or any realistic plan to increase employability or become self-employed, maybe even arts or crafts. Displaying self-motivation and the ability to be your own person can greatly improve how guys are perceived by women, even if they are not successful. Most women aren't going to be interested in a guy who doesn't really do anything - and that's a separate thing from money. [Though I'm sure trust fund kids might not notice, because of the aforementioned gold diggers]


  • #3
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    blatantrereg wrote: »
    Most women aren't going to be interested in a guy who doesn't really do anything - and that's a separate thing from money.

    Yes, Im a woman (from south dublin too incidentally) and I agree strongly with this. The mental health issue thing is not really that big of a deal, everyone knows someone who has suffered from mental health issues and mid 30s is mature enough for people of a similar age group to know that there is no stigma attached and as you say yourself - he is generally a normal bloke.

    I do think that he needs to be doing something constructive, both for his own self esteem and to help attract potential women for himself.


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