Not looking forward to college

LegacyUser

I'm going to be going to college near where I live, so I will still be living at home. None of my friends will be going to college with me though and I'm terrified I won't make any friends. All of my friends from school will be going to college away from home and moving out. I feel like since I will still be living at home I won't really have much of an opportunity to make friends. I'm just really not looking forward to college, everyone else is so excited. Is it difficult to make friends in college? especially when you're not moving out..

Going to college from secondary school is not the same as going from primary to secondary (I'm sure you remember, everyone was coming from the same area, recognisable faces everywhere, hoping someone from your old school would be in your class, people settling into cliques based on their old school). In the transition from secondary to college, EVERYONE is in the same boat, ie. out on their own. There will be a few people here and there that know each other but generally everyone is new, and everyone is worried about making friends.

Strangely, I found that people who had been popular in secondary school found it more difficult to make friends in college, maybe they were used to not having to make the effort, or maybe they felt out of their comfort zone without their usual friends.

You will make friends in college if you make an effort. You will not do well if you don't make the effort. Say hello to everyone. If you're waiting in a queue, or sitting in a class, and there's someone on their own (or even not on their own), make friends with them. Even if you think you wont see them again, just make friends with everybody. Start as many conversations as possible, whether it's asking a question or saying you think their hoodie is nice. It doesn't matter what you say, just that you say it and you seem friendly and laid back. Ask people their names and try to remember it, or just start a conversation about how you can never remember names

Most of all just don't worry and remember that everyone else wants to make friends just as much as you do, so make it easy on them and make the first move.

meoklmrk91

I can almost guarantee that you will make friends. My class in college consists of people from at least 5 different counties, of all ages, from all different social backgrounds etc.

Everyone is in the same boat, nobody ever walks into a new situation where they don't know anybody and says to themselves "well this should be a doddle". Don't sit on your own the first day, walk to someone and ask if there is anyone sitting beside them. Sitdown ask them where they are coming from etc.

College is so different than secondary school it really is a chance to make some lasting friendships and learn some new social skills. Our class is very close, we all get along really well and we have a good laugh.

The one thing I would say to you is to talk to everyone, don't get yourself stuck with just one person or a clique, you are just taking away from the experience yourself then. I have noticed a couple of the girls in our class have paired off, the come in together, sit beside eachother in class and go off on their own for lunch without asking anyone to go ever. This means that when one of them isn't in the other doesn't know what to do with themselves. Now when one doesn't come in the other doesn't either and when one goes home the other does the same. It's quiet silly really.

Just relax and enjoy it, everyone is in the same boat and like you only praying to make a friend on the first day.

Eve_Dublin

Hey OP. I went to college on the other side of Dublin for 2 years till I dropped out of the course (I lived very North and the college was very South) and lived at home the whole time and I felt much like you...because I'm from a town and not the city, it would've been difficult for me to get home after nights out. I made a group of friends in a course of people I didn't have much in common with but you do have to make an effort.

Luckily for me, I was sitting on the bus out to college one day and a girl from Wexford approached me because she recognised me from the class the first day and we got on well. She was sociable and she kind of made the initial effort with the group of friends I made. I really admired her for that, for sticking her neck out a bit like that even though she was in the same boat as me. Because she was living in the city, I was able to stay with her on nights out. Your'e guaranteed to make friends eventually, OP but you have to be willing to make some effort. People will be in the same boat as you, don't forget and they'll be looking for friends as well. Just be open to it all.

Living at home shouldn't stop you having fun and as you said, you live close to the college, so no doubt it'd be easier to get home than it was for me. Don't worry...things are never ever as bad as you expect them to be.

Feisar

Agree with all the above but I'd also add start making friends quickly as cliques/groups do form early. This is from my own experience and I've heard it from others as well.

Apart from your main group of friends mingle as much as you can this is great for networking later in life.
I still keep in touch with college people I wasn't exactly best buddies with.

saa

of course you will!

I got to a commuter college hardly anyone lives near the college and loads live with their parents and make lots of friends.

Clubs and societies are the best way, I've done so many college things and got the last bus home or gone to a party and crashed somewhere.

Zen65

saa wrote: »

Clubs and societies are the best way, I've done so many college things and got the last bus home or gone to a party and crashed somewhere.

+1 to this. Sports clubs, debating societies, and "special interest" groups are a great way to meet new people and you will be very much starting at the same point as everyone else. The friends you make in college are probably the ones that stay with you longest in life.

Be at peace,

Z

tinkerbell

OP, you will be fine! None of my friends from secondary school went to the same university as me so I knew nobody when I started there. After a couple of weeks I had made lots of friends. But you have to make the effort! So make sure you do and you'll be fine

LegacyUser

hey OP, i went to college in Dublin and i'm from the "country", my group of friends ended up in the college where i'm from, and my course i wanted to do wasnt available there so I had to go further.. here was my friends moving in together there and me on my own in the big smoke,

Trust me and all others, you'll be completly fine, honestly, I dont think it possible NOT to make friends in college unless you walk away from everyone who says hello to u in your class.

I made friends on first day that i'm still friends with...
you will make friends, Don't worry!!