Please Help!!! I can't quit!!

binxeo

So here is my story folks, any and all help is so appreciated.

I have been smoking on and off socially since I was 11. I am 27 now. I stopped completely for 11 months when I got pregnant with my son. The day I found out I was pregnant I stopped and never looked back till I broke up with my sons dad. My mother gave me a smoke on bad night in the middle of the break up and I have been hooked ever since, 4 years now. Before I only smoked as a social thing so I think it was easier to quit. But when I started smoking again it was a psychological thing. I had a smoke to deal with a stressful situation and that has been that pattern since. I smoke now to deal with stress. They have become a real crutch for me and I can not seem to break the psychological habit.

Last week I had my brother and his girlfriend over for dinner, they are both non-smokers and are doing a 5km fun run in 4 weeks time and me and my partner decided to do it. We thought committing to it would be a good motivator to quit the smokes. My partner is doing really well, he is down to less then 5 a day in a week but I am struggling. We are doing some working out and jogging and walking too and I am really pleased with my progress and commitment to the fitness side of things. But I am still smoking and I know I am undoing all my hard work with every smoke I have. I also know that I am putting a lot of stress on my system by smoking and doing physical exercise. I wake up every morning and the start of the day goes pretty ok but as the day goes on I am finding that I am making excuses to have a smoke.

I have tried patches in the past but it makes very little difference, I don't seem to notice the cravings easing at all, I might as well have a sticker on my arm. At min I am smoking between 10-15 a day, down from 15/20 a day. So I have reduced it but not as much as I want.

Does anyone have any advice for me. I really want to do this. I don't want to quit quitting!!!:( I am feeling really down on myself right now. I am 5 days into this and not as far on as I thought I would be. I was hoping to be down to about 7 a day at this stage. Really disappointed with myself now.

jem

first of all stop being so hard on yourself.
i have smoked for 30 odd years and a 40 a day man.
I could never do that cut down thing. never worked long term.
when you are ready and only when YOU are ready have a go at giving them up totally.
Best of luck

DoneDL

jem wrote: »

first of all stop being so hard on yourself.
i have smoked for 30 odd years and a 40 a day man.
I could never do that cut down thing. never worked long term.
when you are ready and only when YOU are ready have a go at giving them up totally.
Best of luck

+1, stop being so hard on yourself, keep trying.

budge

I smoked my last fag on the 4th of July.I smoked 10/day before.I used the patches for a week plus nicorette losenges(terrible).I also started to do exercise more intensively.Reducing the number of fags did not work for me,if u want to quit,quit for good.

dusterd

Jem is right, cutting down will not work. You will only end up where you started again.

The best way I found was to set a date a week or 2 weeks in advance. Psyche yourself up everyday for it. Remind yourself of how many days you have left till you quit. In that time begin living healthy and get used to it. Get used to drinking plenty of water. All of this will help hugely when you stop.

Then on the set date completely quit. Weather you go cold turkey or you use help in the form of patches is up to you. The first 3 days will be the worst. You will be worst on the 3rd day. You will need to have this day to yourself mostly and avoid stressful situations. There is a monster inside you and it needs feeding, but you will beat it. Have every confidence in yourself that you can. When your head falls and defeat is close, rise again fighting and never concede.

You will experience many changes from nicotine withdrawal. A cough may develop with s**t being expelled from your lungs. You will feel a little drunk because you are taking in more oxygen with your lungs cleaning out. Constipation may be another issue. These are just a few. There are many others.

Quitting smoking will be the best thing you will do for yourself and those around you. Always keep in mind the benefits. You will beat this monster one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. And believe me it is a monster.

Be fully committed to it and you will succeed. Best of luck.

Ex smoker.

dusterd

How is the Non smoking going? Or have you given it a go yet?

babs41

I've just started to use "smokegreen" ecigs. (€50 for starter kit) I've tried everything before to quit..patches, acupunture etc. but this seems to be working for me, ...only started yesterday but so far so good. I was a 20 a day smoker.

orangerhyme

I found champix very usefull but they aint suitable for everyone. its best to combine it with exercise as you feel the benefits more. really the cravings will have really reduced by 2 weeks. they never fully disappear (especially when drinking) but almost

Chuck Stone

I stopped smoking nearly ten years ago. Before I stopped smoking I was such an addict it kinda got to the point where I hated myself for it. I was asthmatic on top of it all and smoking so heavily that breathing was difficult after a session on the drink. I'd be practically chain smoking at the weekends.

Eventually after numerous unsuccessful attempts at quitting I started to change the way I thought about cigs. Rather than giving me relief I managed to perceive the smokes as my master and I was the slave. The cigs would make do things I didn't want to do like standing out in the rain smoking, going to the shop to buy them, waking up at night needing a smoke etc.

Whenever I managed to really accept the 'master-and-slave' or 'puppet-and-puppeteer' perception of my involuntary relationship with cigs I actually managed to develop a true hatred for them and attempted my 'escape'. Escape sounds dramatic but it is an accurate description of how it felt. The longer I stayed off the smokes the further away I got from the slave master and the less control it had over me.

Having tried numerous times without success I managed to not allow myself to be fooled by the 'sure I know I can give them up I can have just the odd one' trap. Nope, this time I had enough experience not to fall into my own thought fallacies.

I'm a free man now.

I'm still a bit of a muppet though.

orangerhyme

very well written..like a short story

boots2000

Allen Carr book best tenner I ever spent

Love2love

babs41 wrote: »

I've just started to use "smokegreen" ecigs. (€50 for starter kit) I've tried everything before to quit..patches, acupunture etc. but this seems to be working for me, ...only started yesterday but so far so good. I was a 20 a day smoker.

Using this myself and I'm just over 5 weeks off them. I have now reduce this as I felt I was swapping one addiction for another but it was fantastic in helping me.

Had my first night out last Saturday and I was terrified but I had it in my pocket and I have to say it didnt even bother me not to smoke and I barely used the e-cig. I'm not sure if it was because I was out with non smokers or that I knew I had it in my pocket but I was very surprised that I had no desire to smoke. The only time i really used it was to show people

RealExpert

Im no expert but I am speaking from experience.Sounds like you want to "try" giving them up,do one step better and give them up.Dont tell yourself that you cant quit or that cutting down to 7 or cutting down is acceptable because I think you know yourself its not,it might be 7 today but next week it could be 17.I can give you one good reason to give them up and that is your son.Do it for him you will be around a lot longer to help him with the difficulties of growing up nowdays because as we all know every day brings new challenges especially for children.I dont want to sound too harsh and Im sorry if it does but I was at the stage you are by cutting down etc and for me it didnt work.There are tablets available from your GP to help you quit but they probably wont work without a certain amount of will power.
Good luck in your efforts to give them up I hope it works out.Actually Im coming back to this page in a week and I want to see that you have thrown them in the fire.

I gave them up over night after 26 years and I smoked 40 a day for most of it.Guilt,health and the expense in that order was the top 3 reasons I quit.
I am now three and a half years cigg free.

username123

RealExpert wrote: »

Guilt,health and the expense in that order was the top 3 reasons I quit.
I am now three and a half years cigg free.

For me it was self loathing, guilt, health in that order.

Im 2 and a half months free.

I did cut down before stopping, but the cutting down process had gone on over years, not just weeks or days. For 2 years before I quit I was down to 10ish a day, in the 6 months before I quit I was down to 7 or so a day. I was just slowly finding the habit more and more filthy and horrible.

For me, Id never tried to quit before, I really really wanted to be free of the filthy disgusting things - so I just went cold turkey and the relief of quit day actually arriving instead of just dreading it for years was amazing.

I really didnt find it THAT hard. 3 days of shock, horror, cravings, need, upset, stress - and then mild symptoms for a couple of weeks, then after 3 or 4 weeks you look back and realise its done - and it didnt kill you to do it. Every single day you are off them reinforces that you dont NEED them, so it just keeps getting easier.

The dread of doing it was worse than the act of doing it - for me.

Good luck.

sporina

Personally I think you have to either quit smoking or not. I do not think that "cutting down" works. This is based on the theory of addiction. And smoking is an horrendous addiction as it acts on so many levels' physical, habitual, and emotional etc.

Its like a little monster - while you feed it, it will remain. If you don't feed it enough - it will cry for more. There are times when he will be quiet and you will get away with feeding him less. But when you are under pressure, stressed, excited, you become distracted in your mission to starve him - but he distracts you and you end up giving in to him.

The only way to kill him is to starve him. It will be tough for a while, as he screams at you for depriving him. But eventually he will die.

I am off them 9 weeks now - I. AM. SO. DELIGHTED!!!!

Think about whether or not you REALLY want to STOP!!

And get you and your hubby an Alan Carr book!!! As someone said, it will be the best €10 you will ever spend!!!

daveob007

firstly give 10 reasons why you smoke and 10 reasons why you should not,,you probably wont find 10 for smoking but many more for not....do you have a partner/kids/family/friends etc picture you kids or whatever carrying your coffin and the lasting effects that will have.
are you dying for a fag or dying from fags??? the cravings etc are the lesser of the 2 evils,,image how sick you will feel every morning with that clogged up chest,wheeing coughing,,blood clots/cancer/lung and heart disease/breathless/tired/smelly/brown teeth and nails/high cost etc etc.

just a few pointers to get your mind ready for that quitting day,,make it soon and get the alan carr book very good.

good luck giving up the poison..

Please Kill Me

All good posts!! Very good.