Social Isolation

LegacyUser

Hello all,

Well its a new year and there are some changes I'd like to make for 2012. And decided to ask here on some tips/advice.

I have found myself over the last few years become more and more socially isolated. Like many I assume, most of my friends are all in relationships, so their ability to go and do stuff is limited. This isolation is bad for me, and I'd like some tips or advice on where to go or what to do to break this.

I know I should list my interests etc, but quiet simply they are too few to mention, and those that are actually feed my isolation. I spend too much time on the computer, and use this as my social interaction, but its not "real" social interaction if that makes sense.

Miss Fluff

You need to make more single friends. When you're single it is important to have a few wingmen/wingwomen to go and enjoy nights out and functions and gigs with. Not necessarily to go out on the pull or anything but just to have people in your life that you can call on for an impromptu vino after work or to be your +1 at a gig or what have you.

Making friends online isn't actually enhancing your social life one jot so I'd try and decrease the amount of time you spend on your laptop. Come to the next Boards Beers in your area, join a night class or club and get yourself out there. Go for drinks with the work crew on a Friday and accept as many invitations as possible. You are obviously stuck in a rut and you need to put yourself out there.

I think there is also a site for meeting up with people for various activities (not a seedy site). I think it's called Meetup or something? I will have a look and come back to you with it.

LovelyLottie

It's http://www.meetup.com/ .

I saw this site mentioned on here a few weeks back in another thread and it actually looks like a great way of meeting new people.

I've just joined it and am going to my first meetup tomorrow night! I always thought i had enough 'good friends' but then i realised - hang on, they're all in relationships or married, and i'm not! So this is my attempt at meeting maybe a few single girls/guys who i can share some of my interests with, and maybe broaden my horizons

woodchuck

Just because your friends are in relationships doesn’t mean they’re dead Have you tried organising a meet up with any of them? They could well be looking for an excuse for a night away from the ball and chain

It can never hurt branch out and make new friends as well though. Are there any dance classes etc in your area you could join? A hobby that necessitates social interaction is a good idea!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice, I'll have a look at that website and see if theres anything that catches my interest.

I know my friends in relationships arent dead! But they have priorities and commitments, most have families now, and they come first. We do go out, but its maybe once every few months.

Yep, single friends would be good, but its tough at my age bracket, 35-40(not many of us left!).

Miss Fluff

Time to change wrote: »

Yep, single friends would be good, but its tough at my age bracket, 35-40(not many of us left!).

Nonsense, I know lots of really interesting and amazing single people in that age bracket. What's to stop you hanging around with and making friends with people of all different ages anyway? Every new person you meet can broaden your horizons imo

LovelyLottie

Time to change wrote: »

Yep, single friends would be good, but its tough at my age bracket, 35-40(not many of us left!).

Maybe in your own social circle, as in mine, there aren't many single people other than you left. Or possibly also in work or in your immediate environment, you're one of a only a few single people left. Same here. And it can get you down from time to time and cause you to feel a bit isolated.

But across Dublin or whatever city you're in and across Ireland, there are tons of us! I've internet dated for the past few years and there are literally sooo many single people of this age group out there (and younger and older).

I'm a bit tired of seeking other singles in a dating context, so I'm trying meetup because at the moment i'd rather meet some girls/guys who i can socialise with and have some fun with without the pressure of dating.

It doesn't mean you abandon the married/spoken-for friends you have, i meet them when they're free and when they have time to spend with me. But i don't want to be pestering friends who have a partner and/or kids who are already pestering them to spend time with them!

Good luck.

ash23

It's also worth bearing in mind that some people in their late 30s would have grown up/teenage kids and while they might not want to go clubbing at the weekends, they would have more time to socialise.